You’re a superstar at the gay bar

I did standup tonight, and it went fairly well; I really need to start writing things down more often so I can get into a groove more easily, though that’s neither here nor there in terms of the point of this post.

After the show, a couple of guys came up to me and were blatantly hitting on me. Not in that creepy, I want to lick whipped cream out of your pussy way, but obvious nonetheless. I really don’t get it, I was wearing ratty jeans and a t-shirt (no time to change before the show, I spent a lot of time slacking off after work and then realized I needed to install my new headlight, so I had time to wash the car grease off of my hands and that was IT), not a stitch of makeup, and here I have not just one, but TWO guys vying for my attention.

Is there some sort of chemical that girls give off just after they’ve been on a date that makes them instantly more attractive to other guys? Something that men biologically cannot ignore? Like “I don’t know what it is, but all of a sudden this girl is HOT!!!!”?

Part of it could also be that I skipped on the self deprecating jokes this evening, instead opting for, “Oooh, big crowd tonight. That makes me all HOT. Don’t act like you don’t want some of this! *EVERYONE* wants a piece of me. Like, for instance, Pavel called me the other night and said he just couldn’t stop thinking about me–the department of Immigration has been calling him, and he’s hoping to push up our marriage. Now that’s love, if I’ve ever seen it.”

For those of you who have never been to comedy night, Pavel is (and this is his own description) from ‘one of those little monkey countries over in Europe that’s trying to build a democracy, only it’s been sort of slow going, because they don’t have any oil and therefore have to do it all by themselves.’ He and I have a long standing joke about getting married as he could then get a green card, and I could ‘use his excellent health benefits’.

So yeah. Two guys hitting on me tonight…in front of my fiance. HOT.

16 Comments You’re a superstar at the gay bar

  1. Anonymous June 22, 2006 at 1:06 pm


    that’ll be it. you stink of HOT.

  2. fete_pindon June 22, 2006 at 1:07 pm

    re: anonymous pheromones stink.

    dammit. forgot to log in.

  3. damienwolfe June 22, 2006 at 1:22 pm

    I think it’s the confidence thing. You are on stage doing comedy and that takes confidence.It’s a very attractive quality. 🙂

  4. veni_vidi_lusi June 22, 2006 at 3:09 pm

    Actually, my girlfriend never got hit on for a long time. We started dating a couple months ago, now she gets asked out two or three times a day at work (she works at a cafe) I think you may be on to something there.

    1. fete_pindon June 22, 2006 at 3:22 pm

      that’s interesting. every married mate of mine claims they were never mithered by lasses until they got the ring on, now they’re beating them off with a shitty stick.

      it’s a plausible theory at least.

      1. veni_vidi_lusi June 22, 2006 at 4:25 pm

        Hrm, very strange indeed. Now that you mention it, since I became attached again, I too, in addition to my girlfriend, have had females proffess that they would love another of me, and at least two girls I have known for a while proffess the fact that they loved me for a while, and were not happy with my new girlfriend getting me instead of them.
        Interesting. I wonder what it is.

        1. fete_pindon June 22, 2006 at 7:07 pm

          i reckon it’s the “forbidden fruit” effect.

          they could have you, they didn’t want you.

          they can’t have you, they want you more than anything in their life.

          although as regards women in general, this could be applied to almost anything.

          1. veni_vidi_lusi June 22, 2006 at 7:13 pm

            forbidden fruit maybe, but that doesn’t explain the ones that DIDN’T know I was dating and say those things.

          2. fete_pindon June 22, 2006 at 7:31 pm

            damn yu and your theory busting posts….

            DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!

            perhaps you too now reek of the horn? it’s the only other explanation….

          3. veni_vidi_lusi June 22, 2006 at 7:44 pm

            Perhaps there is another explination.

            1) There are two types of attached people. The Happy Kind, and the Sad Kind.
            One is happy to be attached, and is found to be smiling at odd moments throughout the day. People tend to favor the happier people in their life, because they aren’t a downer on their own lives. So women and men are attracted to cheerful person, which (and not as a general rule, because I do know single cheerful people) in this case, is in direct relation to their relationship status of being attached.

            The second is the sad type. Perhaps they are in a rocky part of a relationship, or twoards the end of it. This is also visible on a few people. Guys – A decent guy tends to be protective and supportive, and see’s a vulnerable girl in need of support and protection from the *bad* man/men, be it emotional or physical. This promts him to ask her out and flirt with her on the basis of “If you were mine, I would treat you better”.
            The other kind of guy is the vulture, just waiting to get her while she is vulnerable. The vulture also comes in female form.
            As for women, when a guy is being screwed over, either his girl is cheating on him, or they just don’t mesh, females that he attracts, tend to see a wounded animal, they want to nuture and care for it, and bring it back so it becomes strong and healthy again. Someone can argue that more independent women don’t want to do this, but the fact remains that women by nature want to mother something.

            Again, this is not a stereotype, as there are also the female vultures that just want to catch him, so they can be jealous and spiteful and “look at the man i caught, i took him away from that bitch, and he’s grateful to me for it”.

            All of those situations, happy and sad, can have pheramones associated with them as well.

            Hell, it could be a chemical alteration of one’s pheramones when one is in close contact with their signifigant other, the mixture could be intoxicating to single people.

            Those are my theories anyway.

      2. admin June 23, 2006 at 7:12 am

        It’s also possible that the lasses aren’t hitting on them because they’re married, per se, but because they have only gotten more interesting as they’ve gotten older. Not many ladies are interested in a guy who is only motivated by ‘tang.

        1. fete_pindon June 23, 2006 at 8:12 am

          this is an eventuality i had not considered. it’s possible they’re getting more interesting, although i doubt it, since most of my friends are bona fide, fully paid up, badge carrying and t shirt wearing members of the idiot club.

  5. robcutforth June 22, 2006 at 3:37 pm

    Let me let you in on a little secret.

    Guys dig chicks who like themselves.

    There are so many whiney, self-loathing, overcompensating, sketchy women out there that when one is chilled with the world, we kick each other in the face trying to get some.

    You go girl.

      1. wakare June 22, 2006 at 10:43 pm

        Confidence is attractive. After a good set, in particular, I bet you were glowing. And you clearly have a good sense of humor, which is another attractive trait.

  6. jimhark July 18, 2006 at 11:39 pm

    I was there

    (Sorry for commenting so late, but I was out of town.)

    I was there and I can vouch for Mel, two guys (and maybe a third as I recall) were all over her in an appropriately flirty pick up kind of way. I even think one of them already had a woman with him. It was all very fun to watch (from somewhat of a distance as the one guy was practically pushing me away from Mel, his apparent target). I really wish you all could have seen it.

    As for why, I’d have to go with mental state. Mel, you were particularly upbeat that night. Maybe your new man put you in a good mood, making you more approachable. But that’s just my guess.

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