Privacy Policy

Who I am

You are at ; it’s run by Melissa. If you need something, I can be reached at, if you need to call please email first because I’m not a phone person.

What personal data I collect and why I collect it

I really don’t want your data. I’m not interested in having it. However, Patreon does collect some to link between my blog and their site and enable the sidebar patron greeting:

Patreon features in this website

In order to enable you to use this website with Patreon services, I save certain functionally important Patreon information about you in this website if you log in with Patreon.

These include your Patreon user id, Patreon username, your first, last names and your vanity name. Additionally, the id of your campaign at Patreon and your campaign’s Patreon URL are also saved.

If you request that your data be deleted from this website, this data will also be deleted and Patreon functionality will not work. You would need to register on this website and log in to this website with Patreon again in order to re-populate this data and have Patreon functionality working again.

You could in theory fill out data about yourself in the profile that’s created when you log in with Patreon but I don’t know why you would? It’s less of a “me collecting it” and more of a “you storing it there for me to never see” situation.

Embedded content from other websites

Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website.

These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website.

I host my videos on youtube for easy-ish sharing, and that’s the only embedded content I do anymore, because embedded content has a bad habit of disappearing over the years. Instead, I send people on outbound links (for stuff that isn’t mine) or host my own stuff. But now you know that if you watch a video I made and hosted on youtube and posted here, youtube knows about it. 


By default WordPress does not collect any analytics data. However, many web hosting accounts collect some anonymous analytics data. If my host Azure collects analytics automatically, then it’s collecting whatever it collects but I don’t even know how to find it much less what to do with it. I don’t have time to analyze what essays with butt jokes are most popular, I’m too busy making butt jokes. I have not installed any WordPress plugins that provide analytics services. 

Who I share your data with

By default WordPress does not share any personal data with anyone. 

How long I retain your data

If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. This is so I can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.

Comments are disabled indefinitely so this section will grow less and less relevant over time.

What rights you have over your data

If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data I hold about you, including any data you have provided to me. You can request it, I really really wish you wouldn’t because that sounds like a lot of work for me that I don’t know how to do just so you can have an archive of your livejournal comments. You can also request that I erase any personal data I hold about you. This does not include any data I am obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.

Where I send your data

I don’t.

My contact information

It seems like this should’ve been covered with “who I am” but for redundancy’s sake:

How I protect your data

I got a security certificate for the site and forced the connection to be secure, I update wordpress and all my plugins as soon as updates are available and largely I don’t collect your data.

What data breach procedures I have in place

I don’t store data so breach procedures seem about as useful to me as fantasizing about lottery winnings for a ticket I haven’t purchased.

What third parties I receive data from

Patreon. I think that’s it.

What automated decision making and/or profiling I do with user data


Industry regulatory disclosure requirements