Explanation is spelled with an ‘A’.

Due to a combination of traffic and not being able to find my car keys, I was late to work today. All that happens in the beginning of one’s shift is that a manager goes ‘blah de blibbedy blah’ about shit that no one cares about–so I didn’t miss much. One of the assistant managers, who COULD be cool if he didn’t have his head all the way up corporate’s ass, decided it was high time he taught me a lesson about personal responsibility.

He’s since been too embarrassed to look at or talk to me all day. HAR HAR.

Yeah, maybe SOME DAY I’ll regret this, but it’s not very high on Mellzah’s scale of ‘likely to happen’.
The line about suspension slays me. C’mon! Suspend me! Give me a three day weekend!

20 Comments Explanation is spelled with an ‘A’.

  1. shadowstitch July 7, 2005 at 1:01 am


    That’s so delicious I want to EAT it with a SPOON.

    At least you know why he’s on a career track at Guitar Center.

    1. admin July 7, 2005 at 7:50 am

      How did I know that you especially would get a kick out of this? 🙂

  2. ph34rtimmybunny July 7, 2005 at 1:38 am

    my last firing wasn’t so much something horrible for the boss in your fashion as a sworn affidavit that goes in his file that if he treats another employee like he did me he’d be fired without his pention..

    1. admin July 7, 2005 at 7:50 am

      holy crap, I don’t believe I’ve heard THAT story!

  3. smacksaw July 7, 2005 at 3:20 am


    Why do you sign these?

    Never sign them.

    Where you sign your name, say “I don’t agree to sign this”

    1. admin July 7, 2005 at 5:34 am

      Well, I really WAS late. It’s not a big deal, really. They can write me up til they’re blue in the face–they’re not going to get rid of me because I’m too valuable at the moment. When they start hiring competent employees other than myself, that’s when I’ll start worrying.

      1. smacksaw July 9, 2005 at 10:06 am

        Yeah, but that’s the beauty of the whole thing…even if you’re wrong, you don’t have to admit it.

  4. damienwolfe July 7, 2005 at 3:24 am

    I must say, I love the employee comment.

    1. admin July 8, 2005 at 2:49 am

      I was smirking all day long.

  5. ebomike July 7, 2005 at 7:06 am

    You’ve once again proven your full rockiness. Or rockdom. This is simply too cool.

    1. admin July 8, 2005 at 2:48 am


      I knew you’d get a kick out of it. I haven’t forgotten about your picture, BTW, I’ve just been busy with zombie porn!

  6. rhydant July 7, 2005 at 1:00 am


    When I got fired from Longs, they had me sign some paperwork, and there was a space for comment. I wrote “Steve Bingham [assistant manager] is a pedophile.”

    I was dissapointed when I didn’t have to sign anything for Applebees. 🙁

    1. admin July 8, 2005 at 2:47 am


      I forget why you get fired from Longs–did you discover Steve in an act of pedophilia?

  7. evildrmurgee July 7, 2005 at 2:33 am

    Heh yeah, I did something similar when I quit my waiting job, of course, the owner barely spoke english, so it wasn’t quite as funny

    1. admin July 8, 2005 at 2:47 am

      Maybe not AS funny, but funny nonetheless! 😉

  8. bellachiara6 July 8, 2005 at 5:11 am

    question: how is it a verbal warning if it is written down?

    1. smacksaw July 9, 2005 at 10:07 am

      An invisible magic elf transcribes it?

    2. admin July 9, 2005 at 3:38 pm

      They need to have a record of the conversation happening or I could theoretically do it over and over and over again and they couldn’t suspend me because there would be no supporting documentation.

      Although the order is supposed to be, verbal warning, WRITTEN warning, suspension.

    3. echoeversky June 1, 2009 at 9:51 pm

      I have always wondered about this..

      Ikon always fucks you in the ass with those when the ‘real written writeup’ hits you bent over without lube.

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