Why, God, WHY?

My ‘friend’ Ned* (Yeah, I won’t be calling him a friend anymore…) called me last night. I worked with him my first go-around at Guitar Center, I made friends with him and his wife. When they went out of town, I took care of their pets for them. When they moved from Aliso Viejo to Seattle, I drove from Escondido to Aliso Viejo daily to take care of their evil cat. He offered me a job here, and a place to stay until I found an apartment. Shortly after I moved here, he and his wife moved to the east coast, and again, I watched their place and their pets for them. Before they moved, they gave me a couch and a microwave.

So Ned called last night under the pretense that he hadn’t talked to me in a while, and wanted to see how things were going post GC. His voice sounded funny, but I couldn’t quite place what was wrong. Something just seemed…off. All was revealed when he started breathing kind of heavily and told me that he couldn’t stop thinking about me, and how often he fantasized about coming into the other room while I was sleeping on the couch and waking me up by sticking his dick in my mouth.

…Yeah, I hung up on him. He tried calling me back a couple of times, but I don’t want to hear it.

Seriously, WTF? WTF WTF WTF?

Getting a new couch has been moved to the top of my buying priorities list.

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty except from those investigative souls who take it upon themselves to dig through my journal archives.

27 Comments Why, God, WHY?

  1. designess November 29, 2005 at 9:19 pm

    Dang girl!


    1. admin November 30, 2005 at 6:24 pm

      Tell me about it. I make horrible faces when I think about it.

  2. dravalen November 29, 2005 at 11:48 pm

    Ew ew ew ew ew EW! I don’t think I can sit on that couch now…

    1. admin November 29, 2005 at 11:50 pm

      It’s going, today. Will you be home to help me get it down the stairs? If not, I will build a cardboard ramp and launch it into the parking lot.

      1. dravalen November 30, 2005 at 12:13 am

        I might be home to start moving out my stuff later tonight if willows gets back to me about my application. They are already a day behind when they said they’d process it :|.

        1. admin November 30, 2005 at 2:14 am

          Well, at the very least, the couch is gone now. It took a lot of pushing, shoving, pulling, and cursing, but it has found a new home next to the dumpster.

          My new couch will be here sometime between now and 10pm! 😀

  3. pandemoniachick November 30, 2005 at 1:50 am


    OH MY GOD.






    How do you FIND these people?!

    1. admin November 30, 2005 at 2:17 am

      I am a freak magnet. I don’t find them; they find ME.

  4. hallucinas November 30, 2005 at 2:11 am

    girl, you ARE a freak magnet!

    1. admin November 30, 2005 at 2:18 am

      Sad to say, stuff on this level of creepiness happens ALL THE TIME. Someday I will lock my door and never go outside again.

  5. twistedwithin November 29, 2005 at 9:40 pm

    Sorry, but. . .Bwhahahahahahah. . seriously, that is insane!

    I wouldn’t even know how to BEGIN to stay that to someone (. . .allright, someone I was not already sleeping with, mkay?). . .just **imagine** what he did to that couch after you slept on it ;P

    ROFL. . .

    1. admin November 29, 2005 at 9:46 pm

      Yeah, I thought about it, and that’s why I’ve decided I need a new couch ASAP. I don’t even want to see it in my living room anymore. OH GROSS.
      Even if I don’t buy a new couch at Ikea today, I’m thinking I’m going to shove that thing out the front door as soon as I get home.

      1. scrapyard November 29, 2005 at 10:04 pm

        Oh, honey. I don’t blame you.
        Make sure your doors are always locked, because GROSS.

        1. admin November 29, 2005 at 10:36 pm

          Luckily, a world that’s far enough away that I don’t have to worry about whether or not my doors are locked.

          But yeah. UGH.

  6. katura November 30, 2005 at 6:51 am

    UGH, how traumatizing!

    I say tell his wife and report him for sexual harassment. ;P

    1. admin November 30, 2005 at 6:22 pm

      At this point, I think I could be happy with never speaking to him again. I like his wife too much to get her involved/hurt her feelings.

  7. magicalcrap November 30, 2005 at 4:13 pm

    :O ew ew ew ew ew What is WRONG with these people? Mel! You! Stop collecting broken people!

    1. admin November 30, 2005 at 6:23 pm

      I can’t help it! It’s like they’re DRAWN to me. I haven’t yet determined whether I simply attract freaks, or if I have the power to turn normal men into freaks.

  8. bellachiara6 November 30, 2005 at 7:40 pm

    …and then i literally died laughing.

    omg mel, come back to wisconsin… our pervs arent nearly as bad.

    1. admin November 30, 2005 at 8:00 pm

      It has been noted that my pain is utterly hilarious to everyone. I’m considering becoming a stand-up comedian and going on a ‘Freak Magnet’ tour.
      Alas, I am not prepared to deal with the bitterly cold Wisconsin winters ever again, regardless of the slightly lower freak factor.

      1. Anonymous December 1, 2005 at 4:57 pm

        I know what you mean ,MEN ! once i heard about this girl that looked up this guy she meet in a bar . He didn’t give her his real name , no # , but gave her an email address that was wrong .She then looks him up by another name and calls him . How pathetic !


        1. admin December 1, 2005 at 8:11 pm

          Nice try, Shane. The IP address traces back to you. So does the one ‘Alexis’ posted earlier. I thought we had an agreement that we wouldn’t talk to one another anymore. Why can’t you let this go? And leave me alone?

          How does a harrassment order sound? GO AWAY.

          1. cherrie2pie December 1, 2005 at 9:03 pm

            Mel. What can I say… I think the comedy tour is right on. Start making money from all the freakes that invade your life. And kudos to you for calling the idiot above on commenting on your lj. Can’t he just STOP reading your life, or is he obcessed. Love you. Can’t wait to see you when you come down.

          2. Anonymous December 2, 2005 at 6:53 pm

            Actually this is Isis. Just so you know it really is me, you can look at my IP address. I am at work at the moment. I do live with Shane, so I do use his computer. I didn’t realize the story Shane told me about one his crazy ex was you…til now. I honestly thought it was someone else. He never gave me a name to that story. I was given this site, so I would know who I was defending against him. I honestly thought you had the right to know the truth. As for the ~A~ posting. ~A~ does not stand for Alexis. It stands for Anonymous. Which I was the one who posted them as well. Shane actually told me, not to post to your site. He just wanted me to see what kind of person you were. And that I should draw my own conclusions. Shane on the other hand wants nothing to do with you. Actually, he would have stopped talking to you a very long time ago, if I had not made him feel guilty for what he did to you. Truthfully, it is probably for the better. As for displaying his personal posting, which was not meant for the public, was quite uncalled for. I never thought you would actually be so childish as to copy and paste that post. But why did you not past the ENTIRE post. Where he apologized for using you has his rebound against Alexis. I noticed you left that part out. If you were going to “dissect” his entry for all your friends to see. Why did you not add where he used you and apologized for it. As for your friends; it was sweet how they came to your defense. It really was. Reminded me of how my friends in middle school would come to my defense when I couldn’t defend myself. It was very sweet indeed. Except for the one who would punch my fiancee if he sees him at San Diego. Why resort to violence? Especially from someone who knows nothing about what is really being talked about. And if spelling and punctuation is Shane’s only fault, then I have it pretty damn good. Now, before you and your friends start posting about me. Please be sure, you do not have an inkling of the type of person I am. You do not know where I come from, what my personality is, nor what I am capable of.

          3. admin December 2, 2005 at 7:57 pm

            Well hello there, Miss Isis Casanova!

            One: I’m just curious and would like to know–Why on EARTH would you ask for a christmas card from me, when I’ve made it clear I want nothing to do with either one of you? Especially if you think I’m childish, stupid, psycho, etc? Right after you make biting remarks about me on my journal after I’d already agreed with your finace that it would be best if we never spoke to one another again? I don’t get it. Enlighten me, please.

            Two: You and Shane write nothing alike. I find it hard to believe that your spelling and punctuation abilities would change so drastically from message to message. I don’t really care. There’s something really wrong with you both if you can’t stop reading my journal, looking for opportunities to dig at me. Why exactly do you care and say what I do after I told him I would stop talking to him and about him? Are you ‘checking up’ on me? Who’s the childish one now?

            Three: Yes, I looked up his number. He didn’t give me a ‘wrong name’ and a ‘wrong email address’, I just couldn’t read his handwriting. If he had a problem with that then, he should’ve said so. I flat out told him that if it made him uncomfortable, that I’d hang up and we’d never have to talk again. But at the time he was GLAD I called. I debated about doing it for a long time, because I know how it looks. Ultimately I called him because I thought we had a connection. It goes to show I am perhaps not the best judge of people. Why do you bring it up? Other than looking him up, the only ‘psycho’ moments I’ve had you’ve been a witness to; actions carried out in a furious rage because someone I had trusted completely turned on me. So why the dig?

            Four: The part where he ‘apologizes’ (At this point, I don’t believe, nor do I care if he’s truly sorry) in the post was added later. Yes, I could’ve gone back and edited my post to reflect his changes, but why should I? If he really felt so guilty about what he did, he wouldn’t have gone out of his way to malaign me first.

            Five: I suppose your friends wouldn’t try to console you after you were (justifiably) angry about being lied to and used? That’s a shame, you must have some terrible friends. isn’t going to attack Shane, he said it to make me laugh. And I did laugh. You wouldn’t have because you’ve never seen him and therefore would’ve have realized the unlikelihood of such a scenario. I’m sorry you took it in the wrong way, but truthfully, when you’re coming into something from the outside, you don’t always see the entire picture.
            But it’s funny you make that point–it’s not entirely dissimilar to the way you’re stepping in now to fight Shane’s battles for him. And you’ll notice that my friends weren’t the ones going over to the other person’s journal to make nasty comments.

            Six: Spelling and punctuation is hardly Shane’s only fault. I could tick them off for you: liar, manipulator, cheater, user…but you’ll likely find these things out for yourself.

            Seven: You’re right. I don’t know you. I never asked to know you.

            Eight: For the moment, I will choose to believe that you didn’t intend to make your last remark come off as a threat. You know that making threats is a felony, right?

    1. admin December 2, 2005 at 8:04 pm

      It would seem I also attract their girlfriends. Like MOTHS TO A FLAME, BAY-BEE!

Comments are closed.