The first rule of Fight Club…

On Friday (just Friday, not phoriday), I met up with agentdanak, strand, and two other delightful fellows to see The X Files: I Want to Believe. At some point during the dinner beforehand, there was some lively discussion that could possibly paint a negative picture of me.

Just so these don’t turn into vicious rumors that come back to haunt me on the campaign trail: Yes, when I was in junior high, my mom sent me to a Lutheran bible camp. Yes, while I was there, I got into a slap-fight with another girl. Yes, she did indeed turn the other cheek, displaying her Christian nature.

But only because I slapped the first cheek so hard.

And then I slapped the other one.

…Vote Mellzah! Slapmatch Victor 1995!

12 Comments The first rule of Fight Club…

  1. jessetastic July 28, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    I vote SlapMaster5000. Go Mellzah.

    1. admin July 28, 2008 at 7:27 pm

      Anyone who says I don’t know how to protect this country can step right on up to the plate.

      And get slapped.

  2. mschilepepper July 28, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    I’m … I’m all tingly in my ladyplace now.

    1. admin July 28, 2008 at 7:31 pm

      I do what I can!

      And slap what I can.

  3. demonlet July 28, 2008 at 8:09 pm

    Ali beat the shit out of a Bible Camp director as a small child, as you may recall.

    Y’all may need to get a club going!

    1. admin July 28, 2008 at 8:14 pm

      That was one of my FAVORITE STORIES EVER. I had saved it in my memories. I’m so sad that since she deleted her journal, I can’t read it anymore. 🙁

  4. shadowstitch July 28, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    So wait, did she slap you first?

    Or did you just slap the shit out of both of her cheeks and then call it a fight?

    1. admin July 28, 2008 at 9:09 pm

      She slapped me first.

  5. redrumpirate July 28, 2008 at 11:42 pm

    I’ve been waiting all my life to get into a chick fight. The boyfriend keeps pestering me to do so. He thinks I could womp some poor girl just because I’m an Amazon ;x

    1. admin July 29, 2008 at 5:33 pm

      I feel like I could do much better in a chick fight these days. Less slapping and more ass-whooping.

  6. poetrix618 July 28, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    When I was about nine, I punched Heather Austin in the chin for breaking one of my crayons.

    At least yours was a religious war.

    1. admin July 28, 2008 at 8:26 pm

      Yours was a battle of…artistic expression!

      Also, I prefer Slap Jihad, thank you.

Comments are closed.