On Saturday, I went to Kiki’s house to help her decorate for Halloween. While I orchestrated a fuzzy spider gangbang in her living room, and Matt tested his fog machines, she made me some super-awesome jewelry, including but not limited to a rad pair of earrings with both Frankenstein monsters and vampires on them, which I am wearing right this very moment.

After we were all done with our respective indoor playing, we went outside and moved in on the territory of real spiders to coat their living areas with fake webs. Oh, the webbing we stretched, over bushes and trees and garage doors and windows! Eventually, Kiki is going to find her tiny Frodo action figure, and he is going to be wrapped in webbing and hidden somewhere around the house, like a particularly nerdy easter egg.

I’ll be over there for Halloween proper this year, I hope that kids come to trick-or-treat because I rarely get any at my apartment, and when I do, I accidentally flash some boob which discourages them from coming back.