No occifer! I’m jober as a sudge!

So far today I’ve mostly been lounging around in my PJs, doing some laundry, playing some WoW, general lazy around the house stuff. About 10 minutes ago, there was a knock on my door. I open the door, and who should happen to be on the other side but a Redmond police officer? With a vase of flowers sitting next to him on the porch, no less.

I must have been hopped up on stupid pills or something, because the first thought that went through my head was “Since when do police officers deliver flowers?”

“Can I help you, officer?”

“Yes. Is Carlos here?”

“I’m sorry, there is no Carlos that lives here.”

“Do you live alone?”

“No, I have a roommate.”

“What is the gender of your roommate?”


“And his name is not Carlos?”


“Do either of you have a cell phone that may have been left turned on today?”

“We both have cell phones, but mine has been turned off since last night, and I think my roommate shuts his off when he’s in class, which is where he is now.”

“Ok then, because we have received a hang-up call that we resolved to a cell phone, which resolved to this address and a person named Carlos.”

“I’m sorry, I really don’t know what to say. I haven’t called anyone all day, my phone has been off. I don’t even know the phone number for the police here.”

“Then can I see your driver’s license to have a record of who I spoke with?”

I turned to go to my room to get my wallet, remembered my manners, and invited the officer in out of the cold. I come back, and now not one, but two police officers were inside my home.

I handed the first officer my license, and he started asking me as to when I moved here from California, etc etc. I think he was trying to make small talk, but it was a highly uncomfortable few minutes. Having collected my personal information, they bid me good day and left my house.

And I’m still wondering what in the hell happened.

10 Comments No occifer! I’m jober as a sudge!

  1. v1c1ous February 17, 2005 at 1:41 am

    uh-oh, the secret’s out. Val is actually a Mexican arms dealer named Carlos and his plan to call the police on his rival has backfired causing them to stumble upon his arms cache hidden cleverly inside of video game systems and all of this was done entirely under your nose.

    1. admin February 17, 2005 at 2:04 am

      oh my god, it all makes sense now!

      1. ph34rtimmybunny February 17, 2005 at 11:14 am

        WTF mate, you always made me call you carlos at night mel…kinky but I got past it..

  2. foxhunt006 February 17, 2005 at 3:39 am

    Totally explains why he has that giant phone.

    That would have been kinda traumatic. I’m sorry… 🙁

    1. admin February 17, 2005 at 9:39 am

      It would explain why he’s so protective of the giant phone as well.


  3. shadowstitch February 17, 2005 at 8:25 am

    Knock knock, Neo.

    1. v1c1ous February 17, 2005 at 8:55 am

      It’s called Mescaline, man.

    2. admin February 17, 2005 at 9:41 am

      Hmm, if I could pick between being controlled by robots in a dream world for the rest of my life, or having to deal with keanu reeves and his dumbass drama in the real world, I’d pick the robots every time.



      Wait, wrong movie.


      1. ph34rtimmybunny February 17, 2005 at 11:15 am

        sad thing is, I keep hearing he’s willing to do a 3rd movie….and all this time I though Alex Winter was dead

  4. sprinks February 17, 2005 at 3:18 pm

    OMG!!! HOORAY WoW!
    Sorry, my retard-ass friends got me addicted… when I’m poor. Sadness, mucho sadness. I’m playing on a friends acount though, lvl 12 Tauren Shaman, Hyjal server…

    I’m done, really…

Comments are closed.