It’s lame and I’m cool.

Today Lesley and I went to this thing called the Fallen Giant ( and went there with the understanding that it would either be very very cool, or very very lame. Lesley leaned toward lame. I, an occasional optimist, leaned toward cool. 95 WROCK was there doing promotions, and I finally got to ask them if it was true, if they only have five cds there that they play over and over and over again. Pressured, they spilled the beans–they only have ONE cd. And I believe it.

So it’s this huge inflatable giant that you walk around inside of–through the brain and the intestines and whatnot. So it could be lame AND educational, maybe? Only when we got there, there were people all dressed up in various tribal costumes–where do they fit in? Is it supposed to be scary?

A man in a tiki mask introduces himself as our tour guide, (I’m the leader of the group woooo!) leads us inside the brain and promptly shouts at me to try and make me scream. This, friends, is when I knew it was going to be lame, optimism be damned.

He leads us around for a little bit, another tribe-y sort of man tries to scare us, and then leads us around. None of the guys talk very loud, and even though Lesley was right behind me, I think I’m the only one who heard anything they were saying. One of the guides actually told me that “Yeah, you came at the wrong time, it’s better at night.” Thanks, buddy!

The people behind us were genuinely scared–I’m almost positive they’ve never left the house before. “We’re now going into the depths of his stomach…TERRIBLE HORRORS AWAIT YOU! ..and there is the exit. Have a nice day.”


Since the giant was such a letdown, we went to the park to play and behave like four-year-olds. Being a chilly day, the park was deserted. Lesley started spinning the spinny-thing around and hopped on. I made a valiant effort, but it was spinning too fast and flew head over heels into the hard-packed sand.

After my spill, Lesley made some sort of mention about how it looked like something that would win the grand prize on America’s Funniest Home Videos, I gave her the finger with my mind, stuck out my tongue, and hopped on the bouncy horse.

Lesley went over to the swings, and after a few minutes on the bouncy horse and a trip down the slide, I joined her. She then promptly jumped off to use the see-saw. I was swinging. Very high. Higher than I’d ever swung before. But Lesley wanted to use the see-saw, so I was going to be cool and JUMP off. Because everyone knows I’m cool, including me. Nevermind that this was how I broke my finger many years ago, attempting to perform a flying cannonball leap off of a tire swing. I’m cool. I pushed to get extra height, flew through the air, landed on my feet, before my ankle gave out and put me flat on my back. Oh yes, I’m cool.

So very cool.

12 Comments It’s lame and I’m cool.

  1. ebomike August 29, 2004 at 4:17 am

    Oh, that reminds me. It’s Halloween soon, and I guess they’ll have that House of Horrors thing running again. I remember how I went there two years ago to see a bunch of people desperately try to scare you. One of them actually caught me off-guard and my martial arts reflexes kicked in, so I almost ended up punching him in the face. That WAS a close call.

    What’s even funnier though is seeing a bunch of immature girls squealing and running away from people dressed up in rags with obviously fake chainsaws. What exactly must be going on in your brain if you believe to be in a life-threatening situation in something that you KNOW is staged? Jeesh.

    1. shadowstitch August 29, 2004 at 6:55 am

      We went to one of those huge Corn Mazes last halloween, right outside of town. Only difference was, these guys used actual gas-powered chainsaws. We all pointed and snickered till he fired it up for real. We didn’t stop to look if he actually had a chain on it or not. Fear the rednecks.

  2. Anonymous August 30, 2004 at 4:46 am

    long time no see

    ha ha ha sounds like a really cool lame day….even better i bet you wonder who this is! Its me! Dave is the name and not the grendel type either. Well anyways i dont know if you will remember me but we worked together at that game place we wont mention the name (im still a bit bitter from having to leave there, but oh well.) But i was oveer at lanstorm and everytime i see the pic of cherrie2pie on the wall i tell myself i should drop you a line and say hi and see how things are going for you up in umm Wisconsin is it? this was the only way to say hi to you! well ill see you around and hopefully ill here from you. you can drop me an e-mail @ if ya want to. BTW hows the weather in robotsville?

    1. admin August 30, 2004 at 9:36 pm

      Re: long time no see

      Hey dude! Is this the Dave that’s happier in divorce than he ever was in marriage? 😉

      Oh, we’re all bitter about the game place. Very very bitter. Only I don’t really get bitter, only stabby.

      Yeah, I’ll definitely hit you up by email!

      1. Anonymous August 31, 2004 at 12:59 pm

        Re: long time no see

        cool very cool, ha speaking of divorce….its final ha ha! Single is the way to go…dont allow your self to be stuck in a box but rather peek into everyone elses. That married box was way too small, i had to break free……..

        1. admin August 31, 2004 at 9:47 pm

          Re: long time no see

          Yeah, there’s GOT to be a reason why over 50% of marriages end in divorce. It’s not for me, not yet anyway. What have you been up to lately?

          1. mav77 September 1, 2004 at 8:30 am

            Re: long time no see

            would it be a surprise if i told you “playing games”.i love my xbox, speaking of which she needs a hug….ok shes all better now. She gets jealous when i spend too much time on my comp! Oh yea and i work too! At a gas station for now at least but that may all end soon. And that brings up something else… Even though it doesnt really fit here but you whole thing about work, i can top that try going in an hour early beaing there an hour or more late only getting paid for 8 hours no lunch break or any break at all for that matter. Oh and does the ac work, umm i think not. so in short i work in a stuffy box thats 20 degrees hotter than outside,barely get paid for what i have to do and put up with, like the phone call at 2 am from some stupid 18 year old kid that cant figure out how to change a roll of reciept paper. I would have to agree with you, managers suck!!!!!! I need a new job……….:)

          2. admin September 1, 2004 at 11:40 pm

            Re: long time no see

            What happened to the grocery store? You were makin the big $$ there!

          3. mav77 September 1, 2004 at 11:48 pm

            Re: long time no see

            the strike ended. and now im tired of my current job anybody hiring? i here there is an opening at a porn store? ha ha ha.

          4. admin September 2, 2004 at 6:58 pm

            Re: long time no see

            Yeah, a porn store in WISCONSIN. Don’t think you’d like it out here. It’s a pretty small town and consequently it’s got that small-town mentality.

            Now, when the strike ended, didn’t the stores win? So they really didn’t have to hire anyone that was striking back, right?

          5. mav77 September 2, 2004 at 7:16 pm

            Re: long time no see

            ummm unfortunatly…the union won or else i would sill be there….

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