Why? Why would you commit this crime against ice cream? What has ice cream ever done to you, Pink’s?
Here is an actual list of tasting notes from people who have tried Pink’s Durian:
“Like a gas leak. Seriously, should we be doing this in here?”
“Burnt onion compost”
“Like onions mixed with raw sewage.”
“There’s a sweet, wet-peat undertone to it.”
“Oh no. It’s getting stronger as it warms up.”
“If my four-year-old were here right now, he’d be asking who farted.”
DOES THAT SOUND LIKE ICE CREAM SUCCESS TO YOU, PINK’S!??! …ahem.
Pros: For the first time in the history of ice cream no one will try to dig a spoon into your pint, it’s…uh…local?, you can brag about not being a (durian) virgin if that’s the sort of thing you like to brag about, probably easy to stop eating, there usually isn’t a huge smell component to cold food so it’s got a little extra sensory zazz
Cons: The slimy durian texture will make it glide down your throat like a wretched slug and then maybe back out again, durian is the fruit that checks your ticket at the door of Fruit Prom, the fruit voted both “smells most like barf” and “most likely to make you barf” in the yearbook, this ice cream may be durian’s revenge