Last night, some ladies (and gentlemen) had Fun With Guns. I must have been excited about it, as I was early to a social gathering for the very first time in my entire life. It was then that I made an important discovery: One cannot really loiter around the front of a gun shop without looking suspicious. Pacing back and forth, taking photographs of signs, even texting–all of it made me seem like a skulking potential criminal in the darkness in front of Wade’s Guns. Not that they were worried about me, of course; they were all packing heat.
Let me tell you–I thought this sign was just a load of marketing BS. Oh, har har, train to shoot zombies by blasting circle targets.
I’ve never been more happy in my life to be wrong.
From left to right, you’ve got Emo Hipster Zombie, Pinhead Franz, Booberella, Baby Goth Girl, General Vampire Girly Nails Hanz, and, of course, every red-blooded American’s choice target–Osama Bin Laden. I may no longer qualify as a True American Patriot as instead of taking a shot at Osama, I decided that General Vampire Girly Nails Hanz needed to be taught a lesson or fifty.
Before we could go inside, we needed to initial a lot of lines indicating that guns are not toys, that guns out of cases are not allowed outside of the booths, and that we will not shoot the following things: the PVC hangers that the targets clip onto, other people’s targets, facial targets with the exception of zombies and Bin Laden because again we are patriots and anti-zombie-american, other people, any endangered species that might happen to wander in from outside, and that shooting any of these things were cause for ejection from the range.
SOME people did not take this initialing process as seriously as they could and collapsed into gigglefits, which is one way, I suppose, to impress upon the staff that they ought to probably keep a pretty close eye on us and our activities. This means that a helpful Wade’s employee stepped up and showed us how to load, aim, and fire the .22 revolver Tonya had selected.
Here he is, the amazing Blurman, and Booberella, Tonya’s target, in the background. The reasoning behind her selection? “Even as a zombie, she’s prettier than me. I HATE HER.” Here she is, blasting the shit out of Booberella. You think I’m kidding? This girl learned to shoot in junior high gymhealth class. (WHAT?) By the end of the evening, several people had decided they wanted her on their team when the inevitable zombie apocalypse happened.
It appears that Booberella’s face is now made out of fine lacy Swiss cheese.
Here, Anne shoots while Jim supervises. Now, it’s hard to tell while wearing the big earmuffs as they are not particularly conducive to conversation, but it sounded like they started to get into a bit of a tiff at one point. I can’t think of any boyfriend I’ve ever had who would have wanted to pick a fight with me while I’m holding a loaded gun, but either Jim is braver than I previously believed him to be, or he understands Anne’s blindness on a much deeper level and is trusting in his ability to knock off her glasses and run before she gets a shot off. No breaking the initialed rules, guys!
I KNOW all of these pictures are blurry. It’s because the constant pop of gunfire made me jump and shake the phone EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Here, another helpful Wade’s employee demonstrated guns to Amber, Mana, and the two girls they brought along whose names I don’t remember because I’m a landwalkin’ goldfish.
Amber had told me she was preparing a special outfit for Lady Fun with Guns. I thought she was kidding, but then out came the hotpants and fishnets. Not shown: the low-cut top. It was advised by someone more experienced than all of us that we not wear things that expose ‘the girls’ as no one wants a hot bullet casing landing on sensitive skin.
Amber’s friend is more patriotic than ALL of us. In our mandatory bathroom girl bonding time, she told me that for her 27th birthday, her boyfriend had given her a shotgun even though she’d never shot a gun before and had never expressed an interest in owning a gun. This move is also known as “Sorry, honey, I forgot your birthday, and here is a gift of something I recently purchased for myself.”
Pretty soon, it was my turn to shoot. I was nervous; I had never handled a gun before, and here I was loading it and cocking it and taking careful aim at the panda that had just wandered in from outside. When I squeezed the trigger, it was just a little POP–it didn’t feel like I’d just shot a gun. It felt like I had at most, shot a BB gun or thrown one of those little tiny wrapped firework poppers that youI always throw at people’s feet on the fourth of July, screaming “DANCE! DANCE!”
…I wonder why I don’t have many friends.
And here it is–evidence of the very first shot I ever fired. My expectations of shooting at a target were a bit different from the reality; I assumed for some reason that the paper would react to the bullet passing through it, it would move or sway or flutter or ripple or SOMETHING, but I suppose that expectation means that 1: I am a poor scientist and 2: I watch too many movies.
I didn’t really care for the .22. I expected firing a gun to be a bit more exciting, a bit more palpably dangerous, and, let’s be honest here, a bit sexier.
After Tonya used up the .22 rounds, I took the revolver back out front and demanded to trade it for ‘something awesome’. Another helpful Wade’s employee handed me a 9mm and THEN, ladies and gentlemen, I felt we were in business. Something with a kick. Something that made a proper hole. Something that made casings pelt my face and creep down my shirt. Something AWESOME.
Everyone who went enjoyed themselves and expressed an interest in going to shoot again–we’re looking at going monthly or every other month. Lady Fun With Guns–you’d better believe it!
Ack, I wish I could have gone but I am glad you all had fun
Well, since we will be doing it again, some other time. 🙂
Hopefully I can do it in the future 🙂
That is fabulous! The gun range I used to go to made fun of me for picking targets that looked like people. Who wants to shoot at a picture of a deer though?
You’ll be sorry when the mutant radioactive deer start charging at your home! You will lament, fall to your knees and gnash your teeth!
There were no animal-shaped targets at this place. Different strokes for different ranges, I guess.
You’ll be sorry when the mutant radioactive deer start charging at your home! You will lament, fall to your knees and gnash your teeth!
There were no animal-shaped targets at this place. Different strokes for different ranges, I guess.
Exactly. Because deer hunting with a pistol always works out. The deer are all like “hey, is that a Smith & Wesson, come over here so I can see it?” and then you can shoot them in the effective range and accuracy of a pistol.
Exactly. Because deer hunting with a pistol always works out. The deer are all like “hey, is that a Smith & Wesson, come over here so I can see it?” and then you can shoot them in the effective range and accuracy of a pistol.
I am so jealous i do not even have words. I have always wanted to go but haven’t been able to make it happen! 🙁
I had no idea how many people would be interested in going with me until I decided to make an event out of it. Pick a day and make it happen! 🙂
I had no idea how many people would be interested in going with me until I decided to make an event out of it. Pick a day and make it happen! 🙂
Shooting a .22 is a bit like…I don’t know, something that you try and wonder what all the fuss is about.
Pretty much. I guess it’s a little insidious, though, as it when you shoot it, it doesn’t feel like lethal force–which might make someone more inclined to use it? Y/N?
Pretty much. I guess it’s a little insidious, though, as it when you shoot it, it doesn’t feel like lethal force–which might make someone more inclined to use it? Y/N?
Shooting a .22 is a bit like…I don’t know, something that you try and wonder what all the fuss is about.
I wonder if this would have helped me get over my zombie phobia? Sorry we couldn’t make it. Inara was sick. 🙁 NEXT TIME!!!
It happens. 🙂 It’s not like we won’t be going again!
It happens. 🙂 It’s not like we won’t be going again!
I wonder if this would have helped me get over my zombie phobia? Sorry we couldn’t make it. Inara was sick. 🙁 NEXT TIME!!!
I need to go shooting. Used to be really good, but it’s been a while.
It’s not STRICTLY lady fun with guns. You could join us next time!
Yah – need to get my license for this state and a new gun, anyhow.
Yah – need to get my license for this state and a new gun, anyhow.
It’s not STRICTLY lady fun with guns. You could join us next time!
I need to go shooting. Used to be really good, but it’s been a while.
I must steal the “glorious explosions” tag.
You may have it–it is good for things like guns, fireworks, action films, monster truck rallies, and internet drama.
In turn, I have been thinking of taking from you:
Cthulhu’s fancy turns to thoughts of luv
down with the undead!
eldritch powers and you
I laugh so I don’t kill
You may have it–it is good for things like guns, fireworks, action films, monster truck rallies, and internet drama.
In turn, I have been thinking of taking from you:
Cthulhu’s fancy turns to thoughts of luv
down with the undead!
eldritch powers and you
I laugh so I don’t kill
I must steal the “glorious explosions” tag.
SO. MUCH. FUN.
Screw “every other month”. I’m gonna be like Norm on Cheers, only with guns! I’m STILL kinda drenched in adrenaline today.
I preferred the .22 – the bigger guns had more heft and a bigger kick, but I just couldn’t get the accuracy. And if I’m in a situation requiring the use of a gun to pop a cap in somebody’s ass, I’m gonna want to be all about the accuracy. (Plus, I think the little handgun that Dad intended for me to have is a .22 – if I can just get it from TN to here.)
Oh, and a clarification. The last time I used a gun was in 7th grade HEALTH class. As if I ever participated in gym…
Re: SO. MUCH. FUN.
Oh yes. Because HEALTH CLASS should be all about SHOOTING PEOPLE.
Yes.
I was picturing a gym activity where people would learn to run fast in zigzag patterns from the other students holding shotguns. Training for everyone!
Re: SO. MUCH. FUN.
If it helps, when we were actually shooting it was out on the playground, and I was going to a K-8 grade school. So other students running about? Sure. They just happened to be kindergarten kids, that’s all.*
(*Note: No actual little kids were on the playground at the time of our shooting…I’m pretty sure.)
Re: SO. MUCH. FUN.
…they DO do things differently in the South.
Re: SO. MUCH. FUN.
Darn tootin’, little lady!
*p’tooey*
Sorry, I had me some chew juice I had to spit out. Maybe all these here years of aimin’ at my spitoon is what helped me with my shootin’ last night. Plus, I figured that thar Boobarella was a damn Yankee.
Re: SO. MUCH. FUN.
Darn tootin’, little lady!
*p’tooey*
Sorry, I had me some chew juice I had to spit out. Maybe all these here years of aimin’ at my spitoon is what helped me with my shootin’ last night. Plus, I figured that thar Boobarella was a damn Yankee.
Re: SO. MUCH. FUN.
…they DO do things differently in the South.
Re: SO. MUCH. FUN.
If it helps, when we were actually shooting it was out on the playground, and I was going to a K-8 grade school. So other students running about? Sure. They just happened to be kindergarten kids, that’s all.*
(*Note: No actual little kids were on the playground at the time of our shooting…I’m pretty sure.)
Re: SO. MUCH. FUN.
Oh yes. Because HEALTH CLASS should be all about SHOOTING PEOPLE.
Yes.
I was picturing a gym activity where people would learn to run fast in zigzag patterns from the other students holding shotguns. Training for everyone!
SO. MUCH. FUN.
Screw “every other month”. I’m gonna be like Norm on Cheers, only with guns! I’m STILL kinda drenched in adrenaline today.
I preferred the .22 – the bigger guns had more heft and a bigger kick, but I just couldn’t get the accuracy. And if I’m in a situation requiring the use of a gun to pop a cap in somebody’s ass, I’m gonna want to be all about the accuracy. (Plus, I think the little handgun that Dad intended for me to have is a .22 – if I can just get it from TN to here.)
Oh, and a clarification. The last time I used a gun was in 7th grade HEALTH class. As if I ever participated in gym…
They let you handle a LOADED WEAPON?
God help us all. 🙂
cheers,
Phil
I know, what the hell? It must be the end times!
As evidenced by the appearance of so many zombies. Clearly, I should begin building my survival bunker right now.
cheers,
Phil
Leaving the ladies on the front lines? Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!
Oh, of course not. I shall select a fine bevy of delectable women to hide with me in the bunker. We must be able to continue the human race after all others are exterminated, of course. You’re on the shortlist, of course. 🙂
cheers,
Phil
Oh, of course not. I shall select a fine bevy of delectable women to hide with me in the bunker. We must be able to continue the human race after all others are exterminated, of course. You’re on the shortlist, of course. 🙂
cheers,
Phil
Leaving the ladies on the front lines? Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!
As evidenced by the appearance of so many zombies. Clearly, I should begin building my survival bunker right now.
cheers,
Phil
I know, what the hell? It must be the end times!
They let you handle a LOADED WEAPON?
God help us all. 🙂
cheers,
Phil
Glad to hear that everyone enjoyed it!
~Aramada
…every day, in every way, I realize that you are growing more and more awesome.
Awwwww, now you made me all blush and stuff.
Bitch.
~Aramada
Now we must jell-o wrestle in order to relieve this awkward tension. It has been foreseen.
I’m so there.
But not the red kind.
I hear it stains.
~Aramada
I was thinking the green kind. I imagine it would be kind of refreshing. Kind of.
Works for me.
IT’S ON!
~Aramada
Works for me.
IT’S ON!
~Aramada
I was thinking the green kind. I imagine it would be kind of refreshing. Kind of.
I’m so there.
But not the red kind.
I hear it stains.
~Aramada
Now we must jell-o wrestle in order to relieve this awkward tension. It has been foreseen.
Awwwww, now you made me all blush and stuff.
Bitch.
~Aramada
…every day, in every way, I realize that you are growing more and more awesome.
Glad to hear that everyone enjoyed it!
~Aramada
Oh dear lol .. Well I’m not a gun gal but I think I’m going to have to maybe come out with you guys one of the times you go to give it a shot.. zombie targets change everything, lol.
You’re welcome anytime!
You’re welcome anytime!
Oh dear lol .. Well I’m not a gun gal but I think I’m going to have to maybe come out with you guys one of the times you go to give it a shot.. zombie targets change everything, lol.
You have to turn in your Democrat card now. Next week: baptismal.
I keep telling you, if the baptism involves being dipped in blood, I’m really not into it because it stains.
I keep telling you, if the baptism involves being dipped in blood, I’m really not into it because it stains.
Means she can pick up a libertarian card. Socially liberal, fiscally conservative, guns for everyone. Yaaaaaayyyy!!! ::kermit arms::
~Aramada
Means she can pick up a libertarian card. Socially liberal, fiscally conservative, guns for everyone. Yaaaaaayyyy!!! ::kermit arms::
~Aramada
That’s a myth perpetuated by dirty Republicans. My Daddy was a proud Dem first, last and always, and he had a fair share of guns.
Unlike Republicans, he was a discriminating user…meaning he didn’t shoot buddies in the face.
If we could avoid starting political drama, that would be A+.
If we could avoid starting political drama, that would be A+.
That’s a myth perpetuated by dirty Republicans. My Daddy was a proud Dem first, last and always, and he had a fair share of guns.
Unlike Republicans, he was a discriminating user…meaning he didn’t shoot buddies in the face.
You have to turn in your Democrat card now. Next week: baptismal.
Rule #4 – Double Tap
Hahaha! Definitely! (We all may have been guilty of overkill.)
Hahaha! Definitely! (We all may have been guilty of overkill.)
Rule #4 – Double Tap
That is freaking fantastic.
That is freaking fantastic.
Thanks for helping downgrade my cold fear of guns to a great respect for their power.
I liked the 22 for accuracy and the 9 mm for awesome.
And, yeah, Jim’s crazy that way. I may be blind, but I’m a pretty good shot. I’d say it’s even chances if I’m feeling motivated.
And what was Jim’s conversation with you about learning how to handle a gun on the streets?! Is that saying something about Philadelphia or just Jim?
Jim was chiding me for holding the gun in my left hand, pulling back the slide with my right, and then changing hands to hold it with my right to shoot. It, and I quote, “is a bad habit to get into; it takes too long and you can’t shoot as quickly.”
Jim was chiding me for holding the gun in my left hand, pulling back the slide with my right, and then changing hands to hold it with my right to shoot. It, and I quote, “is a bad habit to get into; it takes too long and you can’t shoot as quickly.”
Thanks for helping downgrade my cold fear of guns to a great respect for their power.
I liked the 22 for accuracy and the 9 mm for awesome.
And, yeah, Jim’s crazy that way. I may be blind, but I’m a pretty good shot. I’d say it’s even chances if I’m feeling motivated.
And what was Jim’s conversation with you about learning how to handle a gun on the streets?! Is that saying something about Philadelphia or just Jim?
cripes I shoulda gone. I’m just working too much as of late ;/
Next time! 🙂
Next time! 🙂
cripes I shoulda gone. I’m just working too much as of late ;/
I love shooting guns. My dad is quite the enthusiast, and used to drag me out to the range…when I was much younger, I didn’t enjoy it, because the range club he belongs to also has a bunch of redneck idiots who do very dangerous things. Basically the sort of stuff you’d imagine dipshit frat boys would do if they got their hands on a pair of 9mm.
But when we go by ourselves, it’s quite fun. I’ve had enough video game training to become alarmingly accurate…though I’m guessing that has more to do with my dad’s expert gunsmithing than any real talent on my part. You point the gun at something, and a hole appears there.
I did enjoy when they hosted the local 4-H for a weekend “guns 101” clinic. One kiddo didn’t listen to my dad and got a hot ejected 22 shell bounced off his forehead for the effort. I’ve never seen my dad try so hard to withhold laughter before.
As long as the redneck idiots kill THEMSELVES, it’s thinning the herd the way Darwin intended. <3
“…though I’m guessing that has more to do with my dad’s expert gunsmithing than any real talent on my part.”
Your dad makes guns?
Sort of. He customizes them, spends hours rebuilding, testing, re-sighting them, adjusting them for accuracy. I think he enjoys tweaking them more than he does using them.
Downstairs at his house they have a hallway that runs nearly the entire length of the place, about 50′ at least.He uses this distance for laser-bore sighting tests, much to my mother’s disapproval.
Your dad is awesome. 😀
Your dad is awesome. 😀
Sort of. He customizes them, spends hours rebuilding, testing, re-sighting them, adjusting them for accuracy. I think he enjoys tweaking them more than he does using them.
Downstairs at his house they have a hallway that runs nearly the entire length of the place, about 50′ at least.He uses this distance for laser-bore sighting tests, much to my mother’s disapproval.
As long as the redneck idiots kill THEMSELVES, it’s thinning the herd the way Darwin intended. <3
“…though I’m guessing that has more to do with my dad’s expert gunsmithing than any real talent on my part.”
Your dad makes guns?
I love shooting guns. My dad is quite the enthusiast, and used to drag me out to the range…when I was much younger, I didn’t enjoy it, because the range club he belongs to also has a bunch of redneck idiots who do very dangerous things. Basically the sort of stuff you’d imagine dipshit frat boys would do if they got their hands on a pair of 9mm.
But when we go by ourselves, it’s quite fun. I’ve had enough video game training to become alarmingly accurate…though I’m guessing that has more to do with my dad’s expert gunsmithing than any real talent on my part. You point the gun at something, and a hole appears there.
I did enjoy when they hosted the local 4-H for a weekend “guns 101” clinic. One kiddo didn’t listen to my dad and got a hot ejected 22 shell bounced off his forehead for the effort. I’ve never seen my dad try so hard to withhold laughter before.
Damn, I knew it would be fun! Totally, when my folks get back, we need to go shooting with my Dad. Rifles and shit, not just handguns. Hell, he’d prolly let you try out his compound bow, if you really wanted.
America, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again to save the mother fucking day yeah,
America, FUCK YEAH!
Freedom is the only way yeah,
Terrorist, your game is through ’cause now you have to answer to,
America, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my butt and suck on my balls,
America, FUCK YEAH!
I don’t know, I’m still not convinced of your patriotism.
I don’t know, I’m still not convinced of your patriotism.
America, FUCK YEAH!
Coming again to save the mother fucking day yeah,
America, FUCK YEAH!
Freedom is the only way yeah,
Terrorist, your game is through ’cause now you have to answer to,
America, FUCK YEAH!
So lick my butt and suck on my balls,
America, FUCK YEAH!
Damn, I knew it would be fun! Totally, when my folks get back, we need to go shooting with my Dad. Rifles and shit, not just handguns. Hell, he’d prolly let you try out his compound bow, if you really wanted.
That looked like so much fun!! The only guns i ever shot were air guns…
It was GREAT. You should give it a try sometime!
It was GREAT. You should give it a try sometime!
That looked like so much fun!! The only guns i ever shot were air guns…