Stronger. You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid! :pistolwhip:

Last night, a group of Scientists of the Future ventured away from their home laboratories and went out to see the ‘Live For Everyone Not On PST’ Rifftrax of the worst movie ever made, Plan 9 From Outer Space. This fine movie stars the unintelligible Tor Johnson, Vampira (who doesn’t speak a word the entire film), and dead Bela Lugosi…undead, undead, undead. No, really. All of the footage of the real Bela Lugosi was shot without any script in mind, and Plan 9 was written to accommodate all the footage they’d shot of Bela in the graveyard in his Dracula costume. When Ed Wood wanted ‘Bela’ to interact with anyone else in the movie, he dressed up his wife’s chiropractor in a cape and made him cover his face with his arm whenever his front side was visible to the camera.

Although it was filmed in black and white, last night the movie was shown colorized, much like the Ted Turner versions of classic films. Now, I will fully admit to owning Plan 9 and watching it more than any one person should EVER view it, but in color it was a completely different animal. In order to incorporate the footage that had already been shot of Bela Lugosi and the stock footage, the movie jumps from night to day to night to day, and in color, those leaps are made much more glaringly obvious. Not that it was subtle in the first place. The police will come screaming down the dirt road to the cemetary in bright sunshine, and when they park the car in the Cemetary of Eternal Darkness, it’s pitch black. One of the female characters was attacked by ‘Bela’ in her home, so she ran outside to the pitch black cemetary. There, she encountered Vampira, screamed, ran out to the road where it was now twilight, and passed out. Bela then swishes his cape at her menacingly in a bright fall afternoon and stalks away, which cuts to the woman being rescued by a cornfed man, ass first, at twilight again. It’s a horrendous bit of genius.

Also particularly awesome is the general who commands his stock footage army of the Korean war from in front of a wrinkly sheet. It’s VERY convincing. And by very, I mean, ‘not at all’.

The RiffTrax crew did a great job, Jonathan Coulton was awesome (as usual), and all in all it was much more fun than a visit to Fort Worth (sorry, Fort Worth).

My friend, you have seen this incident, based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that it didn’t happen? Perhaps, on your way home, someone will pass you in the dark, and you will never know it… for they will be from outer space.

8 Comments Stronger. You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid! :pistolwhip:

  1. amazoni August 21, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    It’s hard to effectively encapsulate such awesomeness into one blog, but you’ve done an admiral job (for a stupid, stupid human, anyway).
    The RiffTrax commentary was hilarious (pew! pew! as he gestures with his gun). Dear Flying Spaghetti Monster how I miss MST3K!

    1. admin August 21, 2009 at 6:26 pm

      Dude, but you watch the regular RiffTrax, right? It’s not like MST3K has gone anywhere, there just aren’t little skits anymore.

      1. amazoni August 21, 2009 at 6:52 pm

        True, but it’s just not the same as scheduling my Saturday afternoon around the show. And I’m not ashamed to admit (well, maybe a LITTLE ashamed) that I had a total bot crush on Tom Servo and on Crow. I’m just one of those people who don’t love change. (And I’m a little frustrated that ALL their eps aren’t on DVDs or online and free.)

        1. admin August 21, 2009 at 7:16 pm

          Yeah, Rhino really fucked up as far as DVD releases go.

  2. captain_slinky August 21, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    ‘Twas an awesome evening 🙂

  3. scearley August 21, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    I’m not down with the RiffTrax like I am with the Cinematic Titanic. Turns out I’m more J Elvis than I am Tom Servo. It took a lot of introspection.

  4. poetrix618 August 21, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    The gun part was the best. And the pillows. The Flying Stewardess short was also exceptional.

    And what is it with aliens dressing up as SCA characters anyway? Where in sanity does a tunic with a coat of arms scream FUTURE!

    1. admin August 21, 2009 at 7:15 pm

      aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand COVER NIPPLES.

Comments are closed.