Red, White, & Dead

zombie On Friday, I met up with poetrix618 and amazoni to apply varying levels of gore to our faces for the record-breaking zombie gathering. Both Anne and Tonya made special shirts to wear–Anne’s said “I digeat geeks”, and Tonya’s was a play on the Subway ‘eat fresh’ ads: 6768_99530448939_504738939_2156330_6768098_n 6768_99530453939_504738939_2156331_5589014_n   Me? I decided I’d just go for disgusting makeup. We had a bit of fun staggering around Anne’s neighborhood, flinging blood on ourselves and on the ground near the mailbox, which is an appropriate location for any massacre, frankly. After this, we all loaded into Tonya’s car, realized we’d need to stop to buy some water, scared the crap out of some people in a Bartell’s, got on the highway in the wrong direction, and then finally started making our way to Fremont. As we got into the city, I rolled down my window and proceeded to groan at every person, car, and bicyclist we passed, and did not get ONE REACTION. NOT ONE. Maybe zombies ARE played out. 6768_99530498939_504738939_2156339_4567793_n We waited in line to register to count toward the Guinness total for about an hour, behind the most annoying child on earth and his equally annoying mother. The kid was way into the moaning thing, but it was more of the “mooooooooooooom I’m sooooooooooooooo thirsty” interspersed with loud shouty moans and his mom was dressed up like some sort of goth pirate, which, as of the last time I checked, was not the theme. This, combined with the heat, combined with the blinding sunshine and lack of glasses hence lack of focusing ability, helped reveal my true, unpleasantly dictatorial nature. I pantomimed kicking the child in the back of the head. I loudly dropped F-bombs. I noticed that Anne’s shirt was too clean and demanded she lay on the ground and do a dirt angel. NOW. NOW!! What choice did she have but to comply? 6768_99530508939_504738939_2156340_7930687_n After we finally got registered, we were given nametags. For the rest of the day, I was to be known as Moses, or at least my right boob was to be known as Moses, anyway. I, for my part, perhaps derived a bit too much pleasure from shouting “LET MY ZOMBIES GO!”. Repeatedly. 6768_99530528939_504738939_2156344_3386072_n Next, we had our photo taken by the fine folks at NightZero, and though they have not yet processed our photos, I will post it when they do. To repay them, I did my very best to try to knock down their set. As it turns out, I shouldn’t probably hang my body weight off of anything. Who knew? *edit*Oh hey, six months later, I am finally adding in the NightZero picture! 4225430017_c5a614ba00_o   6768_99530548939_504738939_2156346_6754928_n Now, this might be my true, unpleasant nature revealing itself again, but these girls? I HATE THEM. This is a zombie walk, not yet another opportunity for you to try to look sexy. Ohhhhhh loook, I’m a faerieieiey wandering amongst the zombies and I bet they all think I look so totally delicious that maybe by the end of the day they’ll make me a faerieieiey zombaiey  but if not then I still look, like, so totally cute because I need validation and whoa I just went off on a tangent there.  WE ARE NOT ATTEMPTING FOR THE WORLD RECORD IN FAIRIES, LADIES. Muttering loudly, I made my way over to the parking lot across the street to wait for the next wave of zombie walking. 6768_99530523939_504738939_2156343_1027595_n  6768_99530538939_504738939_2156345_7323580_n   6768_99530568939_504738939_2156350_46496_n 6768_99530573939_504738939_2156351_678284_n 6768_99530578939_504738939_2156352_8145832_n 6768_99530583939_504738939_2156353_6770302_n Look, ma, I’m gross!   6768_99530598939_504738939_2156356_7969742_n 6768_99530613939_504738939_2156359_5015847_n 6768_99530628939_504738939_2156361_6362122_n 6768_99530633939_504738939_2156362_4236112_n 6768_99530643939_504738939_2156363_6178836_n     We started the walk, and the poor sap driving this car picked the wrong time to be law-abiding and stop at the red. His car got swarmed, zombies were reaching in through his windows, crawling up his hood, and getting blood everywhere.   The zombies were all about general mayhem. We reached through patio gates at patrons trying to peacefully eat meals. Fake blood was smeared all over the window of the business having the ‘White Sale’. My favorite tactic was pressing my face up against the window until someone inside noticed me. At every intersection when we swarmed into the street, cars would get mobbed. In one, there was an unfortunate girl in the back seat who was clearly terrified, getting down onto the floor, covering her eyes, willing everyone to go away.     Anne, Tonya and I ended up getting separated and met at our previously agreed-upon ‘Zombie Lost & Found’. We were there when they started up another round of zombie walking, and this time I focused on photographing the hordes.   6768_99530653939_504738939_2156364_1963939_n 6768_99530658939_504738939_2156365_6461309_n 6768_99530678939_504738939_2156369_7868842_n 6768_99530683939_504738939_2156370_1520329_n 6768_99530688939_504738939_2156371_6742444_n 6768_99530703939_504738939_2156374_1728249_n 6768_99530713939_504738939_2156376_6870595_n 6768_99530728939_504738939_2156379_5447568_n 6768_99530753939_504738939_2156382_460458_n 6768_99530763939_504738939_2156384_646440_n 6768_99530768939_504738939_2156385_8228041_n 6768_99530773939_504738939_2156386_6239335_n 6768_99530778939_504738939_2156387_2433981_n 6768_99530788939_504738939_2156389_1962271_n This guy’s costume was completely awesome. He had a pole attached to his back, which dangled a brain in front of him, which not only motivated him to keep moving, but also caused zombies to swarm him. 6768_99530798939_504738939_2156391_3638787_n 6768_99530803939_504738939_2156392_5354010_n 6768_99530793939_504738939_2156390_5555246_n The King might be an undead zombie, but it’s all good. So am I. Here, you can see me surreptitiously trying to lick him. After this, we all decided we were pretty people-d out, and didn’t want to stick around for Shawn of the Dead. We ended up going to Pegasus in full makeup to have dinner–the language barrier was perhaps a bit too much for the waitress, who decided she did not want to spend a single second longer with us than she absolutely had to. I discovered that it’s difficult to eat when you’ve got a bunch of latex around your mouth. And then…things got silly. 6768_99530808939_504738939_2156393_2836985_n I know you must all want to make out with me now. Not all at once, please.

17 Comments Red, White, & Dead

  1. vurumai July 8, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    Where’d she get that zombie tee. I can’t find them anymore.

    1. admin July 8, 2009 at 7:15 pm

      She made it!

      1. vurumai July 8, 2009 at 7:16 pm

        She’s my fucking hero.

        She should make me one.

  2. g33kgrrl July 8, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    You know, it’s weird – I wear skirts a lot just for comfort, and would, yes, possibly do so to a zombie walk, so I was wondering what makes those girls so bad. (Besides the one wearing fairy wings, because, duh.) And then I realized – the shoes! It’s all about the shoes. Those shoes scream the bad things, whereas I wear skirts with (usually) Converse or my running shoes, or possibly small sensible heels. Not hooker-heels.

    So now I feel better, at least in my own head.

    1. admin July 8, 2009 at 7:39 pm

      They also weren’t wearing any zombie makeup. I think the blood on one leg was incidental. I would’ve taken a picture from the front but I hated the idea of fueling their egos.

      1. g33kgrrl July 8, 2009 at 7:41 pm

        Yeah, that does seem a bit much. Weird.

      2. faerieburst July 8, 2009 at 9:39 pm

        You should have taken pictures from the front, while loudly exclaiming to Anne and Tonya, “I HAVE to get pictures of idiots who apparently COMPLETELY missed the memo about this being a walk FOR ZOMBIES.”


    2. faerieburst July 8, 2009 at 9:37 pm

      See, they could easily have been zombie fairy and zombie cowgirl, except they had zero zombie makeup or accoutrement. So instead of being a slightly odd interpretation of the theme, they were the morons who show up at a Ren. faire in storm trooper costumes.

      I hate people like that.


      1. g33kgrrl July 8, 2009 at 10:36 pm

        Yeah, I didn’t realize when I commented they didn’t have any zombie stuff on in the front! That’s super annoying, it’s true.

        Although Ren faire + storm trooper costumes makes me think of my favorite Home Movies episode, which does make me happy. If you fast-forward to around 7:15, you’ll see why.

  3. faerieburst July 8, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    The zombie on the Segway is cracking me the hell up.


    1. admin July 8, 2009 at 9:52 pm

      I want to rent a Segway and ride it around Greenlake and loudly discuss how nice it is to be out getting exercise in the fresh air.

      While maybe sipping a 12,000 calorie beverage.

      1. earthdotprime July 8, 2009 at 11:07 pm

        In zombie makeup?

        Oh look, I just planned my next vacation out there.

        1. admin July 8, 2009 at 11:51 pm

          I don’t see why not!

      2. variax July 8, 2009 at 11:23 pm

        I tried to think of what a 12,000 calorie beverage would be and now everything is gross and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT.

        1. admin July 8, 2009 at 11:52 pm

          You’re welcome, sweet cheeks.

  4. la_roja July 9, 2009 at 4:35 am

    I wish I had known you were going to be there! I’m sad that we missed you.

    BTW–The bride in the ornate dress carrying flowers and wearing glasses is a friend of mine. That dress was amazing.

    1. admin July 13, 2009 at 7:45 pm

      Yeah, Cole told me you guys ended up getting there a bit after we’d already left. I saw the pictures, though, it looks like you two had fun!

      I was very, very impressed with your friend’s costume!

Comments are closed.