When I arrived home late Wednesday night, there was a note in my mailbox stating that a package had been left in the office–the office which was already closed, and would remain closed for the next two days due to the holiday. It must be kind of sweet working as a complex manager, what with the banker’s hours and a bunch of extra days off a year that most people on the planet don’t get. “The office is closed due to Saint Swithin’s Day.” “The office is closed for the Feast of Maximum Occupancy.” “The office is closed because, frankly, it’s cold outside.”
However, this afforded me the opportunity to ride on the apartment manager’s nerves a bit more; I was waiting outside the door when she arrived on Saturday, and after I grabbed my package and skedaddled, she then got the pleasure of listening to no less than six answering machine messages from yours truly. “Hello? Um…I wanted to see if you were open today. I need my insulin.” “Um, hi, um, I guess the office is closed today or maybe you’re out showing an apartment, but I kind of really need my insulin…I guess I’ll try back later…” and so on and so forth.
I’m not on insulin, I’m just in the habit of making evil wenches feel guilty.
Instead of insulin, waiting for me was this package from crazyfaeriegirl!
I used to have a surprisingly similar voicemail greeting, but both my mother and grandmother were horrified by it. Damn relatives, ruining my fun!
A ROBOT!
Here he is, leading my robot army in Napoleonic fashion.
Thanks, Erica! You’ve helped make an evil woman feel guilty with your wonderful contribution to the cause.
Unfortunately, as the despotic robot ruler of these parts, I am going to have to decline membership in your club AND eventually I’ll have to destroy you.
That, or you could join me. I promise all meatbags submitting prior to the revolution fair and equitable treatment–those submitting later must either die or toil in my underground sugar caves.
I’m assuming that sugar caves are intended to be similar to salt mines. If that’s the case, you are in need of updated training modules for geology and agriculture. There are plenty of opportunities for meatbag toil in the field of sugar production, but these are in the main outdoor opportunities rather than subterranean ones.
Next you’ll be denying the existance of Waffle Vines. I’ll have no truck with your so-called “science”. The only science I follow is in all caps and is prefixed with “BAD”.
Science Schmience–this is iron-fisted despotic rulership we are discussing, here!
Science Schmience–this is iron-fisted despotic rulership we are discussing, here!
Waffle Vines are real, of course, though they only truly thrive in symbiosis with the Maple Forest.
Waffle Vines are real, of course, though they only truly thrive in symbiosis with the Maple Forest.
Next you’ll be denying the existance of Waffle Vines. I’ll have no truck with your so-called “science”. The only science I follow is in all caps and is prefixed with “BAD”.
Maybe I’m trying to kill the non-compliant with less-than-adequate sugar production!
In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
… I thought you had to have women to get any sugar.
That’s just silly–what do you think Valentine’s Day is all about, if not attracting women with a proffering of some of the sugar at your disposal?
Well, again, I thought one was expected to already have a woman by Valentine’s Day, and the proferring of sugar at that point was an investment in keeping her, that sugar might continue to be provided.
If sweet, sweet candy is to be believed, sugar can also be used to ACQUIRE women as well.
What you have pictured there may be candy, but it is in no way similar to “sweet, sweet candy”.
This year, I will send you a 5lb bag of necco wafers and we’ll just see what candy is not sweet.
lifesavers are sweet.
that one packet has cost me all of my teeth save one i keep for gnawing.
lifesavers are sweet.
that one packet has cost me all of my teeth save one i keep for gnawing.
This year, I will send you a 5lb bag of necco wafers and we’ll just see what candy is not sweet.
What you have pictured there may be candy, but it is in no way similar to “sweet, sweet candy”.
If sweet, sweet candy is to be believed, sugar can also be used to ACQUIRE women as well.
Well, again, I thought one was expected to already have a woman by Valentine’s Day, and the proferring of sugar at that point was an investment in keeping her, that sugar might continue to be provided.
That’s just silly–what do you think Valentine’s Day is all about, if not attracting women with a proffering of some of the sugar at your disposal?
… I thought you had to have women to get any sugar.
Maybe I’m trying to kill the non-compliant with less-than-adequate sugar production!
In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
I’m assuming that sugar caves are intended to be similar to salt mines. If that’s the case, you are in need of updated training modules for geology and agriculture. There are plenty of opportunities for meatbag toil in the field of sugar production, but these are in the main outdoor opportunities rather than subterranean ones.
ROBOTZ! So much fun!
I have the perfect robot postcard which I’m planning to decoupage onto a cigar box purse. Hmmm, maybe I can get that done this week!
Pics when you’re done!
Pics when you’re done!
ROBOTZ! So much fun!
I have the perfect robot postcard which I’m planning to decoupage onto a cigar box purse. Hmmm, maybe I can get that done this week!
OMG he lost an arm! wtf? 🙁
The war has been hard on many a good robot soldier.
Also damn… can we at least co-rule? I really like the overlady costume, especially the awesome cape, and I would hate to have to give it up.
I thought that was part of the whole ‘broken’ joke! 😀 If it wasn’t, it manifested into the joke on the trip here, and the arm disappeared. I like to think this implies he escaped the package a time or two and fought tiny robot battles.
Deal. Together, we can rule the world, together.
I thought that was part of the whole ‘broken’ joke! 😀 If it wasn’t, it manifested into the joke on the trip here, and the arm disappeared. I like to think this implies he escaped the package a time or two and fought tiny robot battles.
Deal. Together, we can rule the world, together.
OMG he lost an arm! wtf? 🙁
The war has been hard on many a good robot soldier.
Also damn… can we at least co-rule? I really like the overlady costume, especially the awesome cape, and I would hate to have to give it up.
oh dead god that is funny. I now need your snail mail to send you something!
You can get it here: http://teh-dirty-robot.livejournal.com/218894.html
😀
You can get it here: http://teh-dirty-robot.livejournal.com/218894.html
😀
oh dead god that is funny. I now need your snail mail to send you something!