PROJECT: Flood the Office…I Put On My Robe And Wizard Hat

elisel‘s package arrived today; this is the same girl who was kind enough last year to mail me a copy of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cassette tape, so that I might rock out to April’s Ballad and drive my neighbors out in the process. That package had a teenage mutant ninja turtle sticker on it–this girl apparently has a wealth of awesome 1980s stickers at her disposal. I’ve got some domokun stickers somewhere, but that’s about it. I need to start gluing HeroClix to things I send out in the mail. 00130gap

001317sg Oh yes! My very own wizard hat! What were the odds that this would arrive on the same day as a box from Peter Pettigrew? Fortuitous, I tell you!

I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. I…turn into a real beautiful woman? Don’t fuck with me bitch, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

In other words, thank you, elisel!

…I think the apartment manager knows something is up.

12 Comments PROJECT: Flood the Office…I Put On My Robe And Wizard Hat

  1. dslartoo October 19, 2007 at 3:00 am

    What the fuck, I told you not to message me again. Go away you freak. 🙂

    …I think the apartment manager knows something is up.

    YA THINK????

    I need to get a piece of this action. Time to send you some mix CDs. In a big box four feet on a side. 🙂


    1. admin October 19, 2007 at 6:17 am

      I lower my head and prepare to charge. 😀

  2. delicateman October 19, 2007 at 4:01 am

    isn’t about time you get a shipment of two 20ft lengths of copper pipe?

    you needed construction supplies right?

    But really, this is the greatest scam ever to get a bunch of people to give you stuff at their expense!

    1. admin October 19, 2007 at 6:16 am

      You’re too cynical, Joel. 😛

  3. irrationalrobot October 19, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    “Robe and Wizard hat,” oh lord…

    One of the highlights of my bachelor party was sitting around with a bunch of guys trying to read those scripts aloud…

    “did you sit on santas lap as a kid- because u must have broke his legs”

    1. admin October 19, 2007 at 6:59 pm

      A book you might enjoy is Doug Stanhope’s ‘Fun with Pedophiles’–it’s along those same lines, and very, very funny.

      1. irrationalrobot October 19, 2007 at 10:19 pm

        I totally have to do a search for this through the firewall at work. 😛

        1. admin October 19, 2007 at 10:31 pm

          😛 I triple dog dare you.

  4. elisel October 19, 2007 at 7:24 pm

    I was a mad sticker collector in middle school.

    Perhaps you can tell.


    Glad you were amused! Everyone should have a silly hat.

    1. admin October 19, 2007 at 7:38 pm

      I swear to you that when the next Harry Potter movie comes out, I will wear this hat to the theater on opening night, to the chagrin of anyone seated directly behind me.

  5. dysconnection October 19, 2007 at 10:37 pm

    Best. Picture. Of. You. Ever.

    1. admin October 19, 2007 at 11:08 pm

      I should wear the wizard hat all the time so it distracts from my poor clothing choices! 😀

Comments are closed.