The first rule of Fight Club…

July 28, 2008 12 Comments read Uncategorized

On Friday (just Friday, not phoriday), I met up with agentdanak, strand, and two other delightful fellows to see The X Files: I Want to Believe. At some point during the dinner beforehand, there was some lively discussion that could possibly paint a negative picture of me.

Just so these don’t turn into vicious rumors that come back to haunt me on the campaign trail: Yes, when I was in junior high, my mom sent me to a Lutheran bible camp. Yes, while I was there, I got into a slap-fight with another girl. Yes, she did indeed turn the other cheek, displaying her Christian nature.

But only because I slapped the first cheek so hard.

And then I slapped the other one.

…Vote Mellzah! Slapmatch Victor 1995!

These ‘Bat Pants’ have been shredded by the Riddler…which is what I call my ass.

July 21, 2008 9 Comments read Uncategorized

Tim Sale signed my copy of Absolute Batman: The Long Halloween. EEEEE! This guy is an Eisner Award-winning comic book artist LEGEND, and The Long Halloween is one of the seminal Batman stories, particularly as regards to the ‘evolution’ of Harvey Dent. aaaaaaaawesomesauce!

God, I’m such a nerd that sometimes I want to kick my own ass.

I believe in Harvey Dent

July 18, 2008 24 Comments read Everything is Terrible

A couple of weeks ago, I picked up Batman R.I.P #678, even though I should know better than to start something in the middle of an arc by now. I read it, but absolutely nothing made sense; it was like somewhere along the way DC decided to parody itself and published the Cracked! magazine version of Batman. Equally nonsensical was this ad in the middle:

Oh yes, that will come in handy when I go to the dealer’s lot and buy myself a goddamned Batmobile. Why am I even considering test driving any other vehicle when Batmobiles are now available to the general public? Why wasn’t I informed that we could all buy Batmobiles? WHO DROPPED THE DAMN BALL ON THIS ONE?

None of this dampens my enthusiasm for The Dark Knight, which I *will* see in an IMAX theater just as soon as I can get tickets for a decent hour. I’d set up Fandango to send me an email when opening night Dark Knight IMAX tickets were available, and Fandango failed me. Subsequently, they can go shove their handpuppets into the darkest area of their bodies. If they film it and put it on youtube, they might win me back.

Still. BATMAN. BATMAN! BATMAN.

They should really be releasing this movie in porno theaters so I don’t have to worry about going to prison when I touch myself in public.

DundundundundundundundundundundundundundundundunBATMAN!