OMGWTFWHYSCREWUMAS

Today, a big gift basket showed up at the office, with another one showing up shortly thereafter. The office admin said, “Mellzah, I want you to take these home because you have no family around here, and it’ll be some fun Christmas stuff for you to have at your house.” A few seconds ago, my least favorite coworker swept in and out of the office, and took my entire Tiny Tim Christmas with him. WTF.

36 Comments OMGWTFWHYSCREWUMAS

  1. scearley December 20, 2007 at 11:15 pm

    what?
    wait, what?

    just took shit off your desk?

    1. admin December 20, 2007 at 11:19 pm

      Yeah, this is a guy who treats everything in the office like it’s his ticket to treat his family to the good life or something. He’s a service tech and routinely travels for his job; he takes his family with him pretty much everywhere, and tries to charge the company for the bigger suites.

      He also will not leave his home unless explicitly told to do so, preferring to be paid to be a stay-at-home dad. He drives me UP THE WALL.

      AND HE JUST STOLE MY CHRISTMAS.

      1. scearley December 20, 2007 at 11:31 pm

        maybe HR should be told that he stole your personal belongings.

        …or a “customer” should complain about his efforts on-site. I mean, if someone had the manager’s phone number, that person who sounds nothing like you could call and complain about the thefts he’s committed while traveling for the job.

        Just sayin’.

        1. mschilepepper December 20, 2007 at 11:50 pm

          I agree, totally bust him to the higher-ups, in particular the person who told you to the stuff was yours to take home. Also, give us his name and address, and we’ll go mess him up.

          1. admin December 21, 2007 at 12:05 am

            I’m not sure that I want to come off as ‘not a team player’ over some salmon, chocolate, and cheese. 😐

            But maybe in the middle of the night, with ski masks and bats? YES.

          2. scearley December 21, 2007 at 12:10 am

            I don’t think you would come off as an individual player by stating that you saw him steal your personal items from your desk. No need to state what they were.

          3. mschilepepper December 21, 2007 at 2:56 am

            Wordy McWorderson.

            If nobody objects to his fuckwittery, how will the higher-ups know how badly he’s pissing off everyone? Also, document, document, document, especially if his behavior/performance affects the way you have to do your job.

          4. mschilepepper December 21, 2007 at 2:54 am

            I know people who would whack him for a six-pack of PBR. I’m just sayin’.

          5. admin December 21, 2007 at 5:12 am

            You mean….Pabst Blue Robot?

          6. mschilepepper December 21, 2007 at 6:03 am

            That right there is genius!

          7. kindofstrange December 21, 2007 at 6:51 pm

            I don’t think you’ll come off as ‘not a team player’ for calling someone out on being a self-gratifying thieving shitbag.

  2. gray_jedi December 20, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    OMG ASSHOLERY!!!

    I hope he chokes on something. Or, in a tragic accident – while carrying the stolen goods, trips, spilling them everywhere… and the stuff promptly gets run over by a BIG TRUCK.

    1. admin December 20, 2007 at 11:44 pm

      I hope that smoked salmon gives him SPASTIC DIARRHEA. *AND* vomiting!

  3. damienwolfe December 21, 2007 at 3:08 am

    I’m hoping karma bites his ass. That sucks that Mellzah. BTW, I got in trouble for the Necronomicon ornament. 🙂

    1. admin December 21, 2007 at 5:10 am

      awwww, I hope I didn’t get you into TOO much trouble! 🙁

      1. damienwolfe December 21, 2007 at 5:19 am

        Not in too much, but some. According to the gf, I’m not allowed to buy something for myself so close to the holidays. And she was going to order one for me as it’s our (first winter holiday) together. 🙂

        1. admin December 21, 2007 at 3:32 pm

          AH, that was a different sort of trouble than I anticipated–I thought for sure it was a ‘disapproving mom’ sort of trouble. 😀

          1. damienwolfe December 22, 2007 at 7:35 pm

            Nah. 1.) I don’t live at home. 2.) I have my Yule Ghoul Tree (aka The Tree of Death) up year round. 3.) I don’t get along with my mother.

            The ornament is awesome though 🙂

        2. kindofstrange December 21, 2007 at 8:37 pm

          I have nothing to add but that our usernames are eerily similar.

          Are you me with a goatee? Or am I the evil one and just seriously failing on the facial hair?

          1. admin December 21, 2007 at 8:55 pm

            Both of you kids are slacking on the facial hair. I propose a contest!

          2. kindofstrange December 21, 2007 at 11:23 pm

            You’d think I would lose this one.

            You would be wrong.

            I need to dig up and re-post the photos of me as pretty pretty princess .

            I rock the fu manchu, yo.

          3. admin December 23, 2007 at 12:22 am

            I will be even more impressed if you cultivated the hair yourself!

          4. damienwolfe December 22, 2007 at 7:29 pm

            What you talkin’, ’bout Mellzah? I have facial hair. 🙂

          5. admin December 23, 2007 at 12:21 am

            You need to update your facebook picture, then, SIR.

          6. damienwolfe December 23, 2007 at 7:41 am

            Yeah, I know. I had it like that as it was a surprise to my friends in Michigan. But now it’s done, missy. 🙂

          7. damienwolfe December 22, 2007 at 7:30 pm

            I have a goatee. But a goatee doesn’t mean evil. I mean, look at Cartman. 😀

  4. delicateman December 21, 2007 at 4:52 am

    just remember that he’s going to hell for stealing.

    btw, when do I get my ornament? I have cash moneys burning holes in my pocket.

    1. admin December 21, 2007 at 5:11 am

      Do you want it as an ornament or a magnet? I can have it done tomorrow night. 🙂

      1. delicateman December 21, 2007 at 7:09 pm

        magnet, since I have my Christmas tree up only part of the year, but my Christmas fridge is up all year round.

        1. admin December 21, 2007 at 7:25 pm

          Allrighty, I will make it tonight!

  5. smacksaw December 21, 2007 at 7:41 am

    I would have called the police.

  6. benzarius December 21, 2007 at 8:20 am

    Sucks to hear about your tiny….oh god…I just looked at the smacksaw’s user icon…Wow…Thats priceless!!

    anyways, where was I….OH!!

    I want an ornament as well plz. Whenever you have time. 🙂

    1. admin December 21, 2007 at 3:36 pm

      Sure thing–was there a particular kind you wanted? I’ve got time tonight, as a matter of fact!

      1. benzarius December 21, 2007 at 8:26 pm

        Uhm….just the cthulu in the santa hat plz. I will be at the Re- bar workin the door for Dina tonight (and whatever is after Dina) so I’m kinda chained to the door. But I can meet you tommorrow afternoon, or you can stop by. whatevers clever.

Comments are closed.