For some foolish reason, I started a battle of bad Christmas music with a friend. Little did I realize this is a well that will never run dry. So to get you in the holiday mood (note, I didn’t say GOOD mood), here is our lovingly compiled list, perfect for inspiring an evening of heavy drinking or used as a not-so-subtle way to encourage relatives to leave your home.

Dr Elmo: Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer Rap

Ali Lohan: Christmas Magic

John Denver: Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)

Yogi Yorgesson: I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas

Lou Monte: Dominick the Donkey

Cyndi Lauper: Christmas Conga

Little Cindy: Happy Birthday Jesus

DJC: I Want A Blowjob For Christmas

Chewbacca: Silent Night

Bongleburt Doppelganger: O Come All Ye Faithful

Tiny Tim: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

The Goodies: Father Christmas (Do Not Touch Me)

Eazy E: Merry Mothafuckin’ Christmas

Kevin Bloody Wilson: Hey Santa Claus You Cunt

Fist Me This Christmas

New Kids on the Block: Funky Funky Xmas

Dunlap: I Don’t Feel Like Fuckin’ This Christmas

Busta Rhymes: Grinch featuring Jim Carrey

We could keep going for quite some time–there’s enough legitimately terrible Christmas music out there to horrify and enthrall us for days, but I have got packing to do and movies to pan (Jim Carrey, I’m not done with you), so this list will have to suffice.