Mad Scientists…of the Future!

Bright and early on the 17th (everything feels early on three hours’ sleep), Tristan showed up–I strapped him into his surgical gown, slapped on my goggles, and we were off to the Lunchbox Lab.

In front of us in line for the lab were a couple of people I recognized from previous Flying Lab Software events, so it is clearly fate that we continue to run into one another for lab-related activities. The wife mentioned that when I appeared across the street, a great chorus arose with “She’s here!” and that she felt a little sad and left out that she didn’t know who I was…but then she did.


Seattle is a small, small town. Very small.

If you’ve never been to the Lab, they offer a selection of burger ‘experiments’, or you can create your own from an extensive list of ingredients. They also do house blends of meats: ‘Churken’–chicken and turkey, ‘dork’–duck and pork, and ‘Super Beef’ (I have no idea, maybe a blend of Superman and Bossie). Some short-sighted Yelp reviews have faulted the Lab for putting too much bacon on their burgers. The next day, they supposedly had construction workers lined up outside the door before they opened, who asked “Is this the place that has too much bacon?”

Pfft. Too much bacon.


I got the ‘Dork Freshman’–a dork burger with basil, grilled onions, and goat cheese, with a side of the garlic caesar potato salad, and a vanilla honey chai milkshake. And lo, it was delicious.


None of the employees even remarked on our science gear. Clearly this dress-up thing has been done there before.

After lunch, it was time for people to trek down to Renton for booze experiments set to a science themed playlist. Or, according to Napoleon, to pay attention to him and him exclusively. A shark could bite off his back half and he would be furious that no one was giving him a laser pointer to feebly drag himself after, trailing blood and gore.


In this picture are only half of the infamous all-nighter cupcakes. I was thrilled to pieces so many people recognized the frosting design on top was a brain, I’ve never piped on a design before and frankly it was more difficult than anticipated. Jason also told me that I could come make pastries for him anytime I want because they were delicious and these are exactly the sort of compliments that keep me motivated when I ultimately get overwhelmed by my grandiose plans for the next party–it’s my established pattern.


There was an actual scientist among us but she showed great restraint in not mocking us for our lack of science knowledge.


I would also like to take a moment to let you know that dreams come true.

They really, really do.


When I finish drinking this vodka straight from the skull (like any true badass would do), I will fill it with skittles. And eat those straight from the skull. Like any badass would do.

Tonya also brought me a jackalope head for my wall, wearing a string of pearls. Truly, I have the greatest friends in the universe. Once I have stopped trying to gore the dog with the horns to teach him his place in the food chain and have hung it on its proper place on the wall, I will post a photo–you can’t really capture its majesty, but I’ll try.

We then settled in to watch the MST3K version of “Mad Monsters” which was so awful, not even sarcastic robots could save it, and “The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra” which I have seen going onto a thousand times and laugh every.single.time.














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Of course, no evening would be complete without a breathalyzer test before the guests were on their way out.



Too much science? Hardly. Do you know what this could mean for science, Betty? It could mean real advances in the field of science, some of them good!

30 Comments Mad Scientists…of the Future!

  1. electriclime April 28, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    Your posts are my favorite.

    1. admin April 28, 2010 at 7:36 pm

      Aww, shucks! I wish I could’ve made it to the Garage for you last weekend but the reception went until the wee hours of the morning and HOLY SHIT I was drunk by that time.

  2. vurumai April 28, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    No such thing as too much science

    1. admin April 28, 2010 at 7:37 pm

      I know, right!?

      I’m still sad that Bill Nye didn’t even respond to my invitation with a “Hell no, you crazy bitch”.

      1. agentdanak April 28, 2010 at 8:14 pm

        he is a great big jerkface!

        (i don’t have a lovely SCIENCE! icon, so um…maybe this one will do)

        1. admin April 28, 2010 at 8:26 pm

          As a very hot scientist, Scully counts.

          …I originally typed ‘cunts’ which is something else entirely.

          1. agentdanak April 28, 2010 at 8:27 pm

            *raises an eyebrow*

          2. admin April 28, 2010 at 8:35 pm

            I don’t even know, honestly. Maybe Scully has scienced the c word into a verb.

          3. agentdanak April 28, 2010 at 8:37 pm

            she does have her moments…

        2. pete23 April 28, 2010 at 8:33 pm

          scully == science.

          1. agentdanak April 28, 2010 at 8:37 pm

            it has been pointed out to me that this is indeed true 🙂

      2. agentdanak April 28, 2010 at 8:14 pm

        goddammit. i meant this one.

        1. admin April 28, 2010 at 8:26 pm

          That works, too!

      3. assassinpandora April 29, 2010 at 2:03 am


        I am officially in love with you.

        1. admin April 29, 2010 at 2:13 am

          Ever since I decided shamelessness was a valid life choice, I’ve gone out on a bunch more limbs. What’s the worst that could happen, right? 😀

  3. echoeversky April 28, 2010 at 9:36 pm

    Thank you Thank you Thank you..

    for the invite! 🙂


    1. admin April 29, 2010 at 1:57 am

      Re: Thank you Thank you Thank you..

      Thank you for being a part of the day!

  4. faerieburst April 28, 2010 at 10:30 pm

    “vanilla honey chai milkshake”

    That sounds like the best thing in the world. I *must* try this place!

    Also, someday I would like to be badass enough to have a crystal skull full of Skittles.

    The end.


    1. admin April 28, 2010 at 11:13 pm

      If I lived near the Lab I would probably weigh about a thousand pounds, and at least 800 of those would be milkshake-induced.

  5. g33kgrrl April 29, 2010 at 2:39 am

    I love Napoleon watching the TV!

    1. admin April 29, 2010 at 5:04 am

      Sometimes I wish he would watch the TV just a little less. You know those commercials with the abused animals, the ones that are so very sad and pathetic? Napoleon tries to finish those poor creatures off by attacking the TV. Which is even more sad. But also kind of funny. But mostly sad.

      I love the Frink icon! (He’ll make you laugh, he’ll make you think!)

  6. cheeserock April 29, 2010 at 1:01 am

    your parties are very elaborate, and in the good way!

    1. admin April 29, 2010 at 1:56 am

      Why thank you, I do try! 🙂

  7. Anonymous April 29, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    I totally could have driven home according to the breathalyzer – and THAT is scientific fact, officer.

    Oh and your cupcakes were scrumptious, despite the fact that I was too drunk off jesus juice (and jello shots and gin & tonic and more jesus juice) to remember to think to mention to you at the time (or to realize they were brains). And despite how that sounded, complimenting you on your cupcakes was not a come-on.

    Oh and that chimp article made me sad.


    1. admin April 29, 2010 at 6:47 pm

      Never fret, m’dear, the chimp article was from The Onion and thus contained only entertaining lies.

  8. robotdevil April 29, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    hey baby, nice cupcakes.

  9. amazoni April 30, 2010 at 7:03 am

    I’m just hoping there will be Jackalope v. Napoleon video in the future. Heehee

    1. poetrix618 May 4, 2010 at 4:31 am

      But only if they’re both wearing Mexican wrestling costumes.

  10. jessidear84 May 8, 2010 at 9:50 am

    Was it this quote the construction workers saw? :

    A last word of note, I love bacon, I love it a lot, but be aware that even I thought it had too much bacon.

    And for a final note of the night, this burger joint looks amazing, and frankly, I am seriously sad that Seattle is currently too far north for me to convince the boyfriend to take a spin and see some of the WEIRD ASS SHIT that I have read in your journal (He lives in Lacey, currently, but we is movin back to Cali in the next few months)

    And you know, maybe meet you. And hang at the Tit Buffet, or something. SIGH.

    1. admin May 8, 2010 at 5:26 pm

      Just sayin’: You’re a hellllll of a lot closer now than you will be in a few months, it might be a little bit of a trek to see these places but do it while you have the opportunity!

Comments are closed.