It’s like a trainwreck and I’ve got a front row seat

15 Comments read Everything is Terrible
It’s like a trainwreck and I’ve got a front row seat

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooly shit. So, earlier today, my coworker ran out of the building with yet another “I’vegottogoI’llbebacktomorrow”. Guess what it was this time? Previous editions have included:

*Sister with infected vagina from heroin *’What’s Eating Gilbert Grape’ Mother with leg through stairs *Son with migraine (one of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn’t belong…)

This time…..her 19 year old daughter who had a baby not all that long ago announced she’s getting married to the father of the baby in August…but she’s wearing an engagement ring from the father’s cousin, whom she also claims to love. I cannot WAIT for this to be on Jerry Springer. Oh please, let this be on Jerry Springer.

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15 Comments It’s like a trainwreck and I’ve got a front row seat

  1. evillinn June 3, 2009 at 4:52 am

    You should point out that they might be able to get the wedding paid for by the show. It might encourage them to seek out Jerry’s….”help”.

    1. admin June 3, 2009 at 4:58 am

      YESYESYES this is a fantastic idea. I can see the chairs being thrown at the tissue-paper dress AS I TYPE THIS.

  2. katura June 3, 2009 at 7:14 am

    Wait, why does she need to leave work for that? I’d say this woman needs to be fired, but then you wouldn’t get these wonderful stories.

    1. admin June 3, 2009 at 2:56 pm

      I’ve bitched about it before, I’m sure. She leaves very often with these non-emergency emergencies, but the boss lets her get away with it, so I just crab about it on LJ.

  3. pete23 June 3, 2009 at 8:43 am

    Sister with infected vagina from heroin

    Always a class act. GIF?

    1. admin June 3, 2009 at 2:56 pm

      If I had one, I’d share.

  4. whobyfire78 June 3, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    Um, wow.

    “Sister with infected vagina from heroin”? WTF?

    1. hotshotrobot June 3, 2009 at 1:56 pm

      I’m just really glad i was never in Sister With Infected Vagina From Heroin’s class at St. Mary’s Catholic Elementary School.

      2. admin June 3, 2009 at 2:58 pm

        It’s not really being a martyr and thus a candidate for sainthood when you do it to yourself, though, right?

    2. admin June 3, 2009 at 2:57 pm

      Yeah, she got some sort of crazy abcess from shooting up in there and required surgery. I never thought I’d see the day when a coworker’s relative’s vagina would become watercooler conversation, but there you have it.

      1. whobyfire78 June 3, 2009 at 3:00 pm

        Wow…of all the places to shoot up, that has got to be one of the worst possible. You’re just begging for infection.

        I knew a recovering addict in Seattle who finally gave up drugs after he almost lost his penis after he tried to shoot up there, got MRSA and almost had to have it amputated.

        1. admin June 3, 2009 at 4:01 pm

          She’s been in and out of rehab so many times I think she just doesn’t give a shit anymore. She actually had someone bring her more smack to the hospital.

  5. smacksaw June 3, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    Let me guess: They live south of I-90…

    1. admin June 3, 2009 at 7:20 pm

      Yes, they do.

      So do I.

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