I know karate, I know ninjutsu, I drive like a gangster when I’m coming to see you

Can someone tell me what’s wrong with this picture? No, not that the composition is poor, or the graininess, or the flash.

What’s wrong IN this picture? I’ll tell you.

I don’t ever remember watching the Teenage Mutant KARATE Turtles.

Karate =/= Ninjutsu

That is all.

24 Comments I know karate, I know ninjutsu, I drive like a gangster when I’m coming to see you

  1. scearley April 2, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    is it the trampoline?

    1. admin April 2, 2008 at 6:29 pm

      EVERYONE does karate on trampolines these days. It’s so you don’t have to put a lot of effort into kicking high. Basically, at matches, they set up two trampolines and the six-year-olds and one solitary nerdiest-and-saddest-man-alive twenty-three-year-old launch themselves at each other. Whoever gets hurt the least wins.

      1. scearley April 2, 2008 at 6:34 pm

        I guess they have to do something when they aren’t looking at a cartoon girl’s upskirt panty shot.

        1. admin April 2, 2008 at 6:50 pm

          Pft. Leaving the house is for losers.

          1. scearley April 2, 2008 at 7:00 pm

            I take this to mean next time I come by you’ll want me to install a full video monitoring system for every room and have kleenex boxes on your feet.

          2. admin April 2, 2008 at 7:07 pm

            And I’ll travel by a miniature plane called The Spruce Moose.

          3. lemur68 April 2, 2008 at 9:54 pm

            “I said hop in.”

      2. lemur68 April 2, 2008 at 10:00 pm

        the six-year-olds and one solitary nerdiest-and-saddest-man-alive twenty-three-year-old launch themselves at each other.

  2. shadowstitch April 2, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    FREE MUTAGEN WITH FIRST LESSON

    Hahahaha! That is hands down the most deliciously shameless commercial ploy I’ve ever seen at a Martial Arts studio. We’re talking even moreso than the one with the Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat 2 machines in the lobby.

    1. admin April 2, 2008 at 6:48 pm

      Re: FREE MUTAGEN WITH FIRST LESSON

      Let’s start with the touch of death, and work our way from there.

      1. shadowstitch April 2, 2008 at 6:54 pm

        Re: FREE MUTAGEN WITH FIRST LESSON

        Yes! There’s also a studio near me that has Jet Li movie posters up all over the place… 😀

        1. admin April 2, 2008 at 7:07 pm

          Re: FREE MUTAGEN WITH FIRST LESSON

          Learn the ancient art of fighting while strapped into a wire harness!

  3. scrapdog April 2, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Karate is Japanese for “empty-handed”.

    -Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader

    1. admin April 2, 2008 at 10:15 pm

      There’s nothing quite like the resounding crack of an empty hand striking someone’s face.

  4. apestyle April 2, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    Is it the hate that is filling my mouth like the blood of an angry monk?

    1. admin April 2, 2008 at 6:51 pm

      freaking vampires.

      Stop drinking monk’s blood and your problem should clear up, yo.

    1. admin April 2, 2008 at 7:11 pm

      Free fries with every lesson!

  5. jumpinjessflash April 2, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    Also, there are two Raphaels and no Michaelangelo.

    1. admin April 2, 2008 at 6:22 pm

      I’m pretty sure the one on the right is Michaelangelo, though with the absence of a weapon, the colors ARE awfully close which makes it difficult to say for certain.

      At least they didn’t include that abomination of a pink turtle.

      1. lemur68 April 2, 2008 at 7:13 pm

        And just what woulda been wrong with a gay Ninja Turtle anyway?

        His name would be Tom of Finland.

        1. admin April 2, 2008 at 7:28 pm

          No way, Tom of Finland is the black leather turtle.

  6. kettle_whistle April 3, 2008 at 6:16 pm

    The title of this post – is that a lyric, or your own creation (which I guess could be a lyric too – but you know what I mean! Or maybe you don’t? Shit, better end parenthesis now)?

    1. admin April 3, 2008 at 7:32 pm

      It’s a slightly modified Kennedy lyric. The original goes ‘I know karate, I know jiu-jitsu, I drive like a gangster when I’m coming to see you’.

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