I heard Boolia called Grandma a bitch. I HEARD IT.

On Friday, I had another Friend Thanksgiving meal, hosted by the delightful Emily and her husband Tom; in attendance were Tonya, Anne & Jim, Boolia & Jason, Shannon, Chantal & her daughter Sophie, and I dragged Tristan along into the den of the harpies. I believe it was Boolia who cracked, “I love it when the guys meet one another–they give each other a look like ‘Oh, you’re a survivor, too.'”


We all ate entirely too much, given that Emily & co had prepared a staggering amount of food, which tested the limits of what a countertop could possibly hold, told stories, and laughed. After dinner, I learned that homes in finer neighborhoods come complete with ‘murder holes’ underneath for storage of bodies and extra tables and whatever all else you might need to hide in a jiffy. The contractors even left a chilling message written on the walls of the murder hole in case anyone was uncertain of their purpose:



Since murdering is a solitary business and four of us went down there which means alltogether too many witnesses, all of us made it back upstairs alive and proceeded to watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, John Hughes’ tribute to everything annoying about travel and other people in the days before the cell phone–my grandfather loved this movie and often laughed himself to tears watching it.


After the movie, we drank MORE wine, and played a full round of Apples to Apples before giving up on it entirely–eleven people might be too many, especially when there’s booze involved and attention spans are short to begin with, plus there’s pie yet to be had.

Then, because I wouldn’t recognize a holiday unless someone was crying, I ended up bursting into tears when I realized that my wonderful friends are the family I’ve made for myself, and while we might CALL it Friends Thanksgiving, I’m really calling it Family Thanksgiving as I had so many of the people who have made my life special around and none of the people who make me feel badly about myself. I can’t believe I just met most of these girls this year–it feels like I’ve known them forever.

And then when I finished being the world’s biggest baby, I wore Emily’s weirdo S&M cat like a stole.



13 Comments I heard Boolia called Grandma a bitch. I HEARD IT.

  1. cordelia_rose November 30, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    We played apples to apples at my 3rd thanksgiving dinner on thursday. With my father’s side of the family, which is always my favorite. I once told the whole table about penetrative docking.
    Anyway, that sounds like a blast. You have good friends.

    1. admin November 30, 2009 at 10:18 pm

      It’s now MY turn to ask about penetrative docking.

      I have laughed myself sick playing Apples to Apples–one time, for the definition ‘patriotic’, Jim played ‘Hitler’ and I just about died.

  2. weaselmom November 30, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    Murder holes! We used to (note past tense) attend a yearly Christmas Eve party that traditionally involved building a gingerbread house while heckling the Compline service on KING-FM. We always built a murder hole into it and left a hapless (paper) homicide victim for the lucky homeowner to find later.

    This is *not* the reason we no longer socialize with that person, however.

    1. admin November 30, 2009 at 10:20 pm

      HAHAHAHAHA That sounds like a tradition I need to adopt!

      …Little did the visiting carolers suspect that the wife was walled in behind the sugarcube bricks by her jealous husband.

  3. amazoni November 30, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    So. Much. Awesomeness! I swear, the women I have the honor of calling my friends… Sincerely, I tear up with overwhelming gratitude just thinking of all of my girlfriends. I know EXACTLY what you mean about feeling the love. THIS is what family is supposed to be about: love, respect, support, and a heaping helping of fun.

    1. admin December 1, 2009 at 12:24 am

      We need to shut up before we sound like a Lifetime movie minus the ‘secret betrayal’. 😀

    2. mschilepepper December 1, 2009 at 4:59 am

      The best family members are usually the ones you chose for yourself. *sage nod*

  4. Anonymous December 1, 2009 at 2:33 am

    Wait, did I tell about the nasty rumors Jason’s family started about me?? I could have sworn I kept that to myself… 🙂 Dont worry, I had the same tearful realization about friends=family the next morning, and its true. I could not be more blessed. XO, Julia

    1. admin December 1, 2009 at 4:19 am

      You did! 🙂 And then I offered to comfort you in my voluminous bosom, you know, like friends do.

  5. Anonymous December 1, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    Just like a “real” family holiday together, it’s not complete until somebody is crumpled up in tears! ~Shannon

    1. admin December 1, 2009 at 11:40 pm

      Less knife fights in this family, though.

  6. travelbothroads December 1, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    What exactly makes it an S&M cat?

    1. admin December 1, 2009 at 11:40 pm

      It likes spankings, the harder, the better. Emily can also grab it by the tail, lift it up, and push it around the room like a wheelbarrow.

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