Oh my god, Deep Blue Sea is on TV tonight. To imagine my level of surprised delight, it’s pretty much equivalent to telling a five year old that Santa is making an extra-special stop at their house, just because.

I love that it has sharks the size of a room and yet they can swim in about a foot of water. I love that it’s basically set at Alcatraz for sharks. I love that the scientists that are working with the sharks “FOR SCIENCE!!!” are consistently surprised that sharks behave like sharks, and that the suuuuuper smart sharks they engineered do super-smart things.

Just watch this and you’ll see why it’s pretty much one of the greatest schlocky movies ever:

The only reason I’ve never purchased this cinematic masterpiece is that I’m afraid its glory might be diminished with repeated watchings. And believe me, it is glorious.

*edit* LOL, due to the tv edits, the characters are swearing using the phrase ‘gal-darn’.

20 Comments GLEE

  1. playmoby March 7, 2010 at 6:11 am

    Great! Now I have Great Blue Something’s “breakfast at tiffany’s” stuck in my head…. way to go 🙂

    1. admin March 7, 2010 at 9:16 am

      That song is catchy and delightful and thoroughly unlike any of the crap *I* get stuck in my head.

  2. dear_amaranth March 7, 2010 at 7:15 am

    My favorite scene is when the hot female scientist is forced to strip down to her cute little matching bra and panties so she can stand on her rubber wetsuit and electrocute the shark. Because you know, she’s a scientist and everything, so she understands about electricity n stuff. There’s a smart little lady.

    1. admin March 7, 2010 at 9:17 am

      I ask you, what good science experiment doesn’t involve stripping down?

  3. amazoni March 7, 2010 at 7:40 am

    Okay, but are these shark experts scientists of the FUTURE?

    1. admin March 7, 2010 at 9:17 am

      NOnono, these are scientists of about 1999 or so.

  4. nihil_duce March 7, 2010 at 9:20 am

    “You killed my bird.”

    1. admin March 7, 2010 at 10:55 pm

      I like the ENORMOUS explosion even though the gas oven has only been on for approximately a minute.

  5. darwinpolice March 7, 2010 at 5:54 pm




  6. mschilepepper March 7, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    Ha! I saw that on the TV guide thingo and I almost watched, because hey, I love me some Sam L., and now I’m sad I didn’t. It seemed too similar to a really horrible one I did watch months ago, featuring some “prehistoric goblin sharks” that were released by a deep-sea earthquake into the ocean from the ancient rock in which they were encased. And then a tsunami catapulted them to Malibu! The CGI was so incredibly bad.

    OK, I just had to figure out which awful Syfy original it was — Malibu Shark Attack! Huh, it was directed by David Lister — the dude from Red Dwarf?!?

    1. katura March 7, 2010 at 9:58 pm

      Hahaha, I’m so happy there’s a real David Lister.

      1. mschilepepper March 7, 2010 at 10:00 pm

        I would totally do Dave. Don’t judge me!

        1. katura March 7, 2010 at 10:04 pm

          No judgement from me. Although I don’t know if I would. I’d definitely play “how many marbles can you fit up your nostril” with him, though.

    2. admin March 7, 2010 at 10:54 pm

      It’s sooo fantastic, you should give it a chance if you see it on the schedule again. 🙂 Ion tends to show the same things over and over, we might get lucky!

      1. mschilepepper March 11, 2010 at 4:19 am

        Ha, I caught up on some DVRed shows today, and lo! What did I see on my playlist? Friggin’ Deep Blue Sea! I guess I recorded it months ago and didn’t remember. So I watched it today, and oh, you were so right. What a terrible, horrible, gleefully silly film!

        1. admin March 11, 2010 at 6:47 am

          I need to take a moment to bask in the greatest string of four words ever conceived: “You were so right.”


  7. aquariumspast March 7, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    That movie drives me crazy. So, these sharks are super-smart but apparently maybe just as smart as non-modified 60 million-year-old raptors. Should I actually be hating “Jurassic Park”? … I can’t do that…

    I most hate the scene where the stripping scientist bites the big one … it just seems so unnecessary … I don’t care if you’re breaking the hot-female-lead-survives rule…

    At least give her a death scene … “Go on … without me…” “Just let me sleep…” “Earn this…” “I would like to have seen Wyoming…”

    I mean, MAYBE after being so evil in “Ronin,” Bootstrap Bill deserved what he got, but…

    1. admin March 7, 2010 at 10:53 pm

      Actually, in the original ending, the hot scientist survives. The audiences booed that one, and I tend to agree–she’s the reason everyone ended up in that situation to begin with, it’s almost distasteful that she should survive when the majority did not.

      1. aquariumspast March 12, 2010 at 8:35 pm

        WT? Are you making that up?

        In any case, they could have at least let her say, “I feel … cold … and wet … clammy, really…” or something…

        How about “I’ll never put on a life jacket again…”?

        And I’m going to admit that it should have been Montana, not Wyoming…

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