FINISH HIM

I have determined that my upstairs neighbor must be hosting Fight Club: Renton, as that is the only thing I can think of to explain the CONSTANT dragging and slamming sounds, some of which are so thunderous, they rattle things in my apartment. One of which was so thunderous that it actually knocked the light fixture down from over my fireplace, which exploded when it hit the carpet with glass flying everywhere–some pieces flying so far as to smack me in the face all the way over in the kitchen. This is shockingly not the first time this has happened.

I have determined that it is feudin’ and a fussin’ and not the lovin’ upstairs this time that’s causing all the ruckus as I also occasionally hear shouting and screaming. It’s like living in a shitty haunted house.

I have tried to avoid being the downstairs troll; I understand that having people living above you means experiencing noise when they walk around and live their lives, it’s not up to me to monitor and regulate how the neighbors upstairs live their lives, and I elected to live on the bottom floor so I could stomp around and roughhouse with the dog and play rock band drums or maybe even play some dance dance revolution without annoying anyone, and the consequences of not trying to annoy anyone else means being occasionally annoyed myself, but this is nearly constant.

On Saturday night, the upstairs averaged one wall-rattling KABOOM every five minutes, from 10 pm straight through to 3am. I get that it’s the weekend and people are up later, but whatever the fuck they are doing, one would think they would realize they need to knock it off earlier than 3am. My patience and understanding ran out, my humanity took a step back and a furious downstairs troll emerged from the human shell, stood up on the back of her couch and began banging on the ceiling, shouting “KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF”.

…I don’t think my upstairs neighbor is going to say ‘hi’ when he sees me anymore.

On the plus side, the last few nights have been blissfully silent.

26 Comments FINISH HIM

  1. cunninggod April 8, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    Still sounds like they are violating ‘quiet hours’ rules that most apartments have, so you were totally justified on your banging.

    If ye be needin’ a large, intimidating dude to knock on their door to nicely remind them to be respectful of neighbors, just let me know – my services are available *evil laugh*

    1. admin April 8, 2010 at 8:43 pm

      I will keep that in mind, thank you!

  2. electriclime April 8, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    Noise from walking around and moving things is one thing: crashing the light from the ceiling is another.

    I would have gathered up the pieces and walked them upstairs and said “this is what you broke. I brought it to you, so you can find correct replacement for me”

    1. admin April 8, 2010 at 8:43 pm

      That’s a good idea, at the time I was more concerned about the dog getting a splinter of glass in his nose or paw since if *I* found the area interesting, surely that was worth him investigating from every angle. I’m thinking about leaving a note if the slamming starts up again letting them know that it’s been breaking things in my place.

      1. mschilepepper April 8, 2010 at 10:56 pm

        Have you called management on them? You don’t want to have to pay for that light fixture! Documenting their disturbances is how you and management can make a case to get them gone.

        1. admin April 8, 2010 at 11:13 pm

          I called them and told them what happened and they came in and replaced the light fixture, so I’m not on the hook as far as paying for it goes. If the slamming picks up again I will call management, I’ve just been trying to keep a low profile since my campaign of terror.

  3. playmoby April 8, 2010 at 8:57 pm

    oh man, Im sorry.. If feel (or have felt) your pain. When we lived in the aparment, when we first moved in, it was like they were doing gymnastics above us… it was those huge booms eveyr once in awhile and ugh…

    they moved out and we got Don Juan above us, who had HIS BED right on the floor above our bedroom. He would entertain many a girl.. but he only stayed there for awhile. After that? We got the college kids who hooked their playstation up to a subwoofer and would crank it at all hours.

    Oh and this isnt mentioning the mariachi band that was in the 1 bedroom apt next to us (they eventually got evicted for having 12 people in that single aparment), only to be replaced with a middle eastern guy, who had a party on Christmas Eve, and when we finally called security on them at 3AM, they started up with them about how they were being profiled for their race (this was right after 9/11)… the police were called, they kept it up, and they were hauled off to jail.

    oh yeah, fun times.

    🙂

    1. admin April 8, 2010 at 9:10 pm

      How is it that so many people in living situations with shared walls are total inconsiderate shitbags? 😐

    2. aquariumspast April 9, 2010 at 12:02 am

      Wait, wait … that Don Juan part was awfully short…

      1. playmoby April 9, 2010 at 12:09 am

        well he wasnt there for more than a few months…… It was a nightly occurance while he was there, though.

        1. aquariumspast April 9, 2010 at 12:25 am

          The last apartment I lived in, the building had a big, beautiful lobby. Chandelier, marble floors, the works. It also carried sound very well. There were first-floor apartments on either side.

          So, you’d go down to get your mail and, quite often, a couple in the first apartment on one side would be going at it like they were standing next to you. Bodies slapping together, moaning, all with great acoustics … practically surround sound…

          At first I thought it might be porn, but if it was, it was the same scene every time…

          It made getting the mail a quicker process because I didn’t want somebody else to walk by and make the whole thing that much more uncomfortable…

          1. playmoby April 9, 2010 at 1:59 am

            hahahahahahah! that is classic. Sadly, our building was just an old 60’s bldg with thin walls and rusty water pipes. 🙁 I sometimes cant believe we lived there for 2 yrs… but hey, we have been in our (rental) house for going on 8 years now…. so I’m not surprised.

  4. aquariumspast April 9, 2010 at 12:10 am

    I lived in a building once that was pretty nice except it had tissue-paper floors. Seriously. Have I told this story? Anyway, that was bad enough. I tried to walk softly because I am not an ass…

    Then, these guys moved in above me and it HAD to be wrestling. It HAD to be. They may even have built a cage. It would happen at all hours too, though not constantly.

    I was leaving the city soon, so I let it go, but part of me still wants to know for sure…

    Then there was the asshat in that building who blasted rock music all Christmas Eve, until at least 2 a.m. The comment above reminded me of that one … I mean, Christmas music would have been one thing…

    1. admin April 9, 2010 at 12:41 am

      I keep expecting to hear an announcer shouting about championship belts and ‘whaattta comeback!!!!’. I cannot possibly imagine what the hell else could be going on up there.

      1. aquariumspast April 9, 2010 at 1:56 am

        But it’s eating at you, right? I mean, what if you could secretly stick a lipstick camera through the ceiling and videotape them and they’re just sitting there reading National Geographic and Discover the whole time? What then?!

        1. admin April 9, 2010 at 2:22 am

          I am dying to know, I wish there was some way for me to peek in and see!

          1. aquariumspast April 9, 2010 at 4:43 am

            Well, I’ve got an idea. You bring the dog and camera. I’ll bring the balloons…

  5. amazoni April 9, 2010 at 12:20 am

    That would drive me batshit crazy.

    1. admin April 9, 2010 at 12:42 am

      He’s turned me into The Troll. I don’t WANNA be The Troll!

      1. Anonymous April 12, 2010 at 1:36 am

        You’re not The Troll until you bang on the ceiling because a 5 year old fell off her chair. You can’t get pissed at a random loud boom from above because accidents happen. Constant booming in the middle of the night, however, is unacceptable!

        I still can’t believe we didn’t get anything but glares during my X-Mas party. I guess there were too many people – it’s easier to be a bully to just me and children.

        ~Shannon

        1. admin April 12, 2010 at 5:05 pm

          Plus not even trolls fuck with Santa, just in case.

  6. xaotica April 9, 2010 at 2:19 am

    i totally stay up until 3am on the weekends making noise. but i’m very curious what could be so powerful it’d cause your ceiling fixtures to go flying.

    1. admin April 9, 2010 at 2:22 am

      If it was just music or a loud tv or walking around or whatever, I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but whatever they’re doing rattles dishes in the cupboards and scares the bejesus out of the dog.

    1. admin April 12, 2010 at 5:04 pm

      Yup! It is part of my vaaaast collection of halloween-related movies and shorts. 😀

  7. poetrix618 April 20, 2010 at 1:39 am

    Townhomes: The expense of a house with the noise of an apartment.

    I banged on the wall the other day, and the noisemaker finally came over. We had a nice chat rather than my dodging the flying projectiles I had expected. Our truce? She’ll try not to slam the front door so hard my pictures rattle, or listen to music at a volume that allows me to sing along, and run up and down her staircase for exercise, and I’ll not make a big deal of the loud noises unless they’re past midnight and keeping/waking me up.

    Yes, I’m a troll. I’m a tired troll who wants some quiet.

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