Bits & bobs from the week

April 3, 2015 Comments Off read Pacific, USA, Washington, West

I’m always poised, waiting for the shutter release so I can close my eyes and take the least-flattering photo possible. That’s where I’m a Viking.

* Jason’s family was in town last weekend, so we did a ton more eating out than normal. First, we went to the Portage Bay Cafe for breakfast last weekend, where the slogan is “eat like you give a damn”. They’re all about organic, sustainable, ethically sourced foods, which is how they can get away with charging twelve bucks for oatmeal. I ordered a goat cheese omelet, imagining pillowy eggs slathered in creamy, tangy cheese. What I got was eggs with about an eighth of a teaspoon of goat cheese on top. I think I would have had to break it apart at the molecular level to get it to spread across the entirety of my eggs. Now I have to assume that was the ethical portion of cheese to include, and every other restaurant that uses more than a whisper is using cheese from a goat who has been waterboarded into giving up her cheesy bounty. If you haven’t already imagined the sounds a waterboarded goat would make, give it a try. It’s been cracking me up all week. BAAAAAWHARRGARBLE. BAAAABLLLLLL. BAAAABGBLLLLLL.

* We also hit up my favorite breakfast place that weekend, Mon Amie bakery. As it turns out, the owner goes to the same church as my brother and sister in law (formerly often referred to as a ‘cult’ in the news, so hey, that’s something). I’m used to being recognized by the employees there, but I was surprised that the owner recognized me as well, because I think she’s maybe helped me once. And when she said she recognized me, it didn’t come out in what sounded like a positive fashion, so now I’m wondering what I did or said. I always tip well, I’ve never gone in crabby, so I’m at a loss. And then when one of the baristas came to the table to clarify my drink order, I heard the other one call out “I told you so, that’s what she’s always gotten for like the last year.” Uh, maybe I need to change things up a little bit. For the record, it’s an iced blackberry white chocolate mocha and it is the fucking bomb and I only get it like once a month.

* I got my brand new camera from Olympus this week, which wraps up that saga. It both turns on AND focuses so it’s already leagues ahead of the previous two cameras. There’s a small issue of the battery catching inside when I try to remove it, but I think I’m just going to let it go for a couple of reasons: one, I am so tired of dealing with their CS (and I’m sure they’re tired of dealing with me), and two: there’s no way I could get the camera to the repair center and back before my upcoming trips. Let’s just call it good enough. For now.

* A friend recently announced her upcoming birthday theme: Jem and the Holograms. I somehow missed this one as a kid, so I’ve been watching through the series on Netflix and have subsequently been way overanalyzing a show for seven year olds. I have spent a truly outrageous amount of time thinking about the show’s message and underlying themes and rolling my eyes at myself. I’ve also been watching a lot of Walking Dead, and last night, the theme songs blended in my mind in a truly, truly, truly horrifying way.

Spotted on the Roadside: The Dinosaur Doctor

March 27, 2015 2 Comments read (f)Art, Pacific, Spotted on the Roadside, Travel, USA, Washington, West

While dashing to and fro taking photos for a friend’s ridiculously demanding photo scavenger hunt, I spotted this velociraptor and immediately pulled over. First of all, I wish my orthodontist had been dinosaur themed. Mine had more of a pain theme going on, between the palate expansion and the headgear and the three years of braces and the incorrectly made retainer which shifted my teeth so much overnight that I needed braces for another entire year and the multiple shitty remarks (while my parents were out of the room) about how sad it was to do all of this work on my teeth when it was really my jutting chin that was ruining my face. Because what every child needs to be told by their orthodontist is that they essentially look like a fat Beavis. Ahem, I seem to have gotten a bit off-track. Anyway, I can appreciate a dinosaur themed orthodontist, whether that means that the orthodontist is a dinosaur or that he treats dinosaurs or that he only uses the really old school kind of braces. I’ve also taken the liberty of shooping their statuary with an addition that I believe would make it truly next-level.

Think about it, Dr. Max! Spotted on Main St in Monroe, WA.

Spotted on the Roadside: No, no, no Bigfoot here, Sergeant.

March 13, 2015 Comments Off read Pacific, Spotted on the Roadside, The Great Outdoors, Travel, USA, Washington, West

Just outside of Index, WA, there’s a drive-through coffee stand (excuse me, Espresso Chalet) marking the spot where part of the 1987 movie Harry and the Hendersons was filmed. I can absolutely see why someone would choose to film there–it’s got a killer view of Mount Index and it feels like you’re way out in the middle of nowhere even though you’re not all that far from sights like the reptile zoo and BBQ bus (and, you know, regular civilization stuff). On site, they have a fourteen foot tall Bigfoot waving in passing motorists, and if you stop, you’ll find three others: two tiny and one a short walk down the hill cuddling a raccoon. Along with your latte, you can also buy some genyouuuine Bigfoot hair, which is definitely from a real live Bigfoot and not clipped off of some human’s pubic area or pulled from a shower drain or combed off a dog or something. I myself invested in a Sasquatch field guide which is laden with facts, including how to identify Sasquatch poo, which will be useful on all of those days when I’m out there seriously analyzing poo. Which I guess is something I could do if I wasn’t so interested in doing absolutely anything else other than microanalyzing poo. Still, it has more going for it than the demon field guide. Spotted on Highway 2 near mile marker 36 just past Index-Galena Road in Index, WA.

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