Spotted on the Roadside: The Dinosaur Doctor

March 27, 2015 2 Comments read (f)Art, Pacific, Spotted on the Roadside, Travel, USA, Washington, West

While dashing to and fro taking photos for a friend’s ridiculously demanding photo scavenger hunt, I spotted this velociraptor and immediately pulled over. First of all, I wish my orthodontist had been dinosaur themed. Mine had more of a pain theme going on, between the palate expansion and the headgear and the three years of braces and the incorrectly made retainer which shifted my teeth so much overnight that I needed braces for another entire year and the multiple shitty remarks (while my parents were out of the room) about how sad it was to do all of this work on my teeth when it was really my jutting chin that was ruining my face. Because what every child needs to be told by their orthodontist is that they essentially look like a fat Beavis. Ahem, I seem to have gotten a bit off-track. Anyway, I can appreciate a dinosaur themed orthodontist, whether that means that the orthodontist is a dinosaur or that he treats dinosaurs or that he only uses the really old school kind of braces. I’ve also taken the liberty of shooping their statuary with an addition that I believe would make it truly next-level.

Think about it, Dr. Max! Spotted on Main St in Monroe, WA.

Spotted on the Roadside: No, no, no Bigfoot here, Sergeant.

March 13, 2015 Comments Off read Pacific, Spotted on the Roadside, The Great Outdoors, Travel, USA, Washington, West

Just outside of Index, WA, there’s a drive-through coffee stand (excuse me, Espresso Chalet) marking the spot where part of the 1987 movie Harry and the Hendersons was filmed. I can absolutely see why someone would choose to film there–it’s got a killer view of Mount Index and it feels like you’re way out in the middle of nowhere even though you’re not all that far from sights like the reptile zoo and BBQ bus (and, you know, regular civilization stuff). On site, they have a fourteen foot tall Bigfoot waving in passing motorists, and if you stop, you’ll find three others: two tiny and one a short walk down the hill cuddling a raccoon. Along with your latte, you can also buy some genyouuuine Bigfoot hair, which is definitely from a real live Bigfoot and not clipped off of some human’s pubic area or pulled from a shower drain or combed off a dog or something. I myself invested in a Sasquatch field guide which is laden with facts, including how to identify Sasquatch poo, which will be useful on all of those days when I’m out there seriously analyzing poo. Which I guess is something I could do if I wasn’t so interested in doing absolutely anything else other than microanalyzing poo. Still, it has more going for it than the demon field guide. Spotted on Highway 2 near mile marker 36 just past Index-Galena Road in Index, WA.

Save

Spotted on the Roadside: A Rocket to Saturn

March 6, 2015 Comments Off read Pacific, Spotted on the Roadside, Travel, USA, Washington, West

As is only right and proper for “the center of the universe”, there’s a rocket smack in the middle of the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle. Built from military surplus and originally displayed next to a surplus store in Belltown, the rocket launched to Fremont when its former location was scheduled for demolition in 1991. For the next three years, the rocket lay dormant in a back lot. There was a failed attempt to erect it in 1993, and it wasn’t until 1994 that it was finally reassembled in its current location. The rocket is branded with Fremont’s crest and motto (“De Libertas Quirkas” or “Freedom to be Peculiar”) and for a time, one was able to feed a coin into it and “launch” the rocket with a burst of steam from the bottom. That function is no longer operational and it appears there are no plans to restore it. At one time, there were plans to turn the rocket into a local FM radio station, but they have either been put on hold or abandoned entirely.

Twenty years later, across the street, a developer with roots in Fremont installed a giant fiberglass Saturn on top of his commercial building for the cost of about $25,000. That is some damn expensive whimsy! It’s not just decorative, however–Saturn has solar panels installed on its rings which feed into the building’s electrical grid and allow the planet to glow brightly as another integral element of Fremont’s weird galaxy.

Spotted on Evanston Ave, Seattle, WA.