“Can’t get a good sarsparilla like this in Springfield–it angries up the blood!” The Cleveland National Forest

On Friday, my dad and I went hiking in the Cleveland National Forest (named after the president–no, we did not go to Ohio). It was a nice hike, though we would have absolutely deserved it if we had gotten stranded or attacked by a rabid animal as the area we went hiking in was closed, and we got to the trail by squeezing inbetween the locked gate and the barbed wire fence. For being closed, the trail was in decent shape. We only had to scramble over one fallen tree and go off-path a few times to avoid trudging through ankle-deep snow and mud.

Supposedly, on a clear day, from the top of the trail, you can see downtown San Diego and the ocean. My dad and I have decided that is a lie. There is no way, from here, that we’re seeing the ocean.


After we went hiking, we drove to the nearby town of Julian and had lunch. I’ve been there at least once before, but the only memory I had of the place was my brother throwing up en route due to the ultra-winding roads. As it turns out, there isn’t really much to remember about the place–it runs about one full block and that’s it. 24604_377947653939_1131701_n

One look at my placemat and I knew this was not my sort of town. God this and Jesus that and Savior the other thing. It’s a wonder my lunch wasn’t poisoned in order to send me to god’s loving arms faster, but then again, most of the clientele were doddering around in their 80s, so perhaps the owner figures there’s no sense hurrying along what’s bound to come in due course soon enough.


Look at this dazzling sidewalk display! It really makes you want to shop at the Old Julian Garage, doesn’t it? A camouflage hat AND a ‘poster’ printed on an 8.5×11″ sheet of paper! What with its tasteful displays and clever use of space, surely they have something that will fill my–oh fuck it.



I am quite certain this signpost has more signs than Julian has places to go. 24604_377947673939_2334242_n

I was suckered in by the store name ‘Pistols and Petticoats’.


As it turns out, they sell cheap underwear and cap guns. I had no idea that a concept could be dragged so low. Luckily, it was right next to the candy store, so we were able to fortify our blood sugar and then get the fudge out of town.


12 Comments “Can’t get a good sarsparilla like this in Springfield–it angries up the blood!” The Cleveland National Forest

  1. gldngrrl April 1, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    ahh I miss the california sunshine!

    1. admin April 1, 2010 at 11:39 pm

      I actually really lucked out, the weekend before I visited was crummy and the projection for this weekend isn’t great, either.

  2. faerieburst April 1, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    Oh no, no, never go to Julian except in the fall when they are having their apple harvest. THEN it’s worth the trip because they, for reasons unknown, though possibly having to do with an unspeakable deal with the Devil, have an amazing apple crop and when the harvest comes in, they sell fresh apple pie and fresh made cider and a billion other apple treats and they are amazing.

    Other than that? No.


    1. admin April 1, 2010 at 11:40 pm

      I am completely down with fresh apple pie and cider and apple treats, so I will have to keep fall in mind. Otherwise that place is a total hole.

  3. aquariumspast April 1, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    For some reason, that first photo makes me think “Orcs!”

    1. admin April 1, 2010 at 11:39 pm

      THAT explains all the strange noises I heard!

      1. aquariumspast April 2, 2010 at 12:09 am

        Did you get a case of blue sword?

        1. admin April 2, 2010 at 3:22 pm

          That’s not very appropriate to talk about in public, I think.

  4. poetrix618 April 2, 2010 at 1:01 am

    ironic that this godly town is named 4 a pagan emperor, no?

    1. admin April 2, 2010 at 3:23 pm

      hahaha that is an excellent point!

  5. mschilepepper April 2, 2010 at 10:42 am

    So then I guess you’ll just have to suggest “Pistols & Petticoats” as a theme for a new slot machine, hm? Old West Lady Outlaws, yes!

    1. admin April 2, 2010 at 3:25 pm

      Oooh, I like it!

Comments are closed.