An Evening of Cleaning

10 Comments read Everything is Terrible

I feel like I’ve spent the whole night cleaning up one mess or another.

The sugar bag tore when I was pouring out a cupful, scattering at least three cups worth of sugar over my counter and floor.

I’ve now spent a considerable amount of time rinsing about a gallon of fake blood out of the tub. The good news is that it didn’t stain the tub, linoleum, or grout. The bad news is that my hand looks like I’ve spent my evening fistfucking Satan.

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10 Comments An Evening of Cleaning

  1. thisiserika April 13, 2010 at 5:55 am

    And whyyyyy is that bad news?

    1. admin April 13, 2010 at 6:14 am

      My coworkers already whisper about me behind my back, I don’t need devil-sexin’ rumors circulating.

      1. robotdevil April 13, 2010 at 6:21 am

        I bet it sends off a pretty good “don’t fuck with me” vibe.

      2. thisiserika April 13, 2010 at 6:59 am

        I would say that is EXACTLY what you need.

  2. amazoni April 13, 2010 at 6:03 am

    The title of your future one-woman show:

    “An Evening Fist-Fucking Satan”

    Has a classy ring to it, no?

    1. admin April 13, 2010 at 6:12 am

      It will be the name of my book/lecture-tour.

  3. pete23 April 13, 2010 at 6:38 am

    The bad news is that my hand looks like I’ve spent my evening fistfucking Satan.

    This is the GOOD TIMES.

    1. admin April 13, 2010 at 5:14 pm

      Hey, if I’m going to look like I’m fornicating with Satan, I’d like some of the devil’s benefits is all. Fame, fortune, fancy cars and the like.

  4. vurumai April 13, 2010 at 10:07 am

    The bad news is that my hand looks like I’ve spent my evening fistfucking Satan.

    I may never lose this boner

    1. admin April 13, 2010 at 5:16 pm

      …if it lasts more than 6 hours you should call your doctor.

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