Date Archives October 2011

This year’s Halloween costume: The Gunstringer

I found myself seriously charmed by The Gunstringer right around the time I was deciding what my Halloween costume would be this year, and it immediately became the forerunner, handily beating the competitors: Oompa Loompa, She-Hulk, and Sexy Phlegm Ball.

I made the poncho, gloves, hat bullets, holsters, and horse prop, as well as painting bones onto a leotard so I could pretend my body was skeletal and painting some plastic guns to look more realistic. I’m wearing it now, stuffing my face with mini-twix, and justifying the whole thing by telling myself I’m nothing but skin and bones. Out of all of it, the gloves gave me the most trouble. So much, in fact, that I may never make a pair of gloves ever again. Or at least not until sometime next year.

The makeup took about two hours to apply, from covering my eyebrows until finishing touches. It took nearly as long to remove, and I’m still finding occasional blue spots along my hairline or in a hidden cranny in my ears. If I was going to wear the costume again, I’d consider making prosthetics for the cheekbones, jawline, and forehead to make the skull more pronounced.

This year marks my first time doing something I thought I’d never, ever do: wear a couple’s costume, which on the scale of Big Deals is somewhere right around acquiring a mortgage. We might as well buy burial plots together now or get his and hers face tattoos.

Jason attended as my power-up: El Taco Diablo.

Our costumes were a hit even with people who hadn’t seen the source material, and they didn’t much impede us when it came to eating, drinking, or getting busy…dancing.

“I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.”

I found these beauties at the local Fred Meyer. Now, far be it for me to begrudge anyone some spooky panties on Halloween, but really, the scariest thing about this pair isn’t that there’s a witch on them–it’s that the melted witch-blob is positioned in such a way as to make it look like you’ve had a terrible, terrible accident, perhaps involving Olestra. Who wants to take their pants off in front of someone (especially in low light) knowing they’ve got what looks like slimy turd residue hanging out on their backside? Mmmm, sexy.

No wonder they were half price.

Nom or Vom: Cheese and Bacon and Bacon and Cheese

Now, I know you’re going to make a snap judgement on this one as soon as you see the picture, without considering the pros and cons, so I am going to present them beforehand, which of course, you’re going to ignore in favor of the photo. STILL.

Things to consider:

Pros: What’s not to love about cheese and bacon? Probably the most nutritious/healthy of the nom or voms so far, even with the inclusion of cheese and bacon.

Cons: You’d have to be blindfolded to eat it, and maybe even that wouldn’t stop the screaming.

Would you eat this?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...