Oh hey, I see my trashy upstairs fight-club-hosting neighbors have finally gotten rid of that nasty mattress that has been hanging off their back porch for months!
…goddamnit.
Does this mean it’s my problem now?
Date Archives August 2010
Freak Magnet: When even walking isn’t safe anymore.
This morning on my walk to work, I looked up and noticed a tiny asian man waving at me from a car near the carpet store. “What the hell?” I thought, and waved back.
I thought “WHAT THE HELL” with a different inflection when half a mile later, the same car was blocking my pathway, and the same tiny asian man was indicating that he wanted me to take out my headphones. He told me that he’d ‘noticed’ me, begged for my phone number, asked if he could pleaaaaaaaaaaase take me out to lunch sometime.
Thanks, guy. I would be flattered if you didn’t scare the hell out of me.
The rest of my way to work, I made certain to take pathways on which I could not be followed by car, walking down train tracks and on a bike path through woods. That’s an interesting start to the week.
Oh! You have saved me! I love you!
On Sunday, I went to see ‘Hausu’ at the Northwest Film Forum with Nicole. The description on the theater website read:
“Get ready to have your mind blown! This exceptionally wild and funny horror-fantasy is like nothing you’ve ever seen before—we guarantee it. A teenage girl brings six of her classmates along for a summer vacation at her grandmother’s country estate. What the girls don’t know is that grandma is a ghost and her house is haunted. They start to catch on when an evil housecat convinces a piano to eat one of the girls…and then it starts getting weird! Hausu is a truly absurd and thrilling rediscovery.”
At one point during the film, I leaned over to Nicole and said that I must have accidentally ingested acid at some point, because that’s the only way what I was seeing onscreen made sense. This movie has, in no particular order: dancing skeletons, magic cats, creepy aunts, a man made out of bananas, detached limbs performing kung-fu moves, a bottomless pit disguised as a girl, magic oceans of blood that peel off clothing, and a woman who exists almost entirely in slow-motion with floaty scarves. I didn’t expect it to be nearly as funny as it was, but now that I’m aware of its existence, it will have to be included in the lineup at some future Blood & Guts & Punch & Pie.