On Friday, my dad and I went hiking in the Cleveland National Forest (named after the president–no, we did not go to Ohio). It was a nice hike, though we would have absolutely deserved it if we had gotten stranded or attacked by a rabid animal as the area we went hiking in was closed, and we got to the trail by squeezing inbetween the locked gate and the barbed wire fence. For being closed, the trail was in decent shape. We only had to scramble over one fallen tree and go off-path a few times to avoid trudging through ankle-deep snow and mud.
Supposedly, on a clear day, from the top of the trail, you can see downtown San Diego and the ocean. My dad and I have decided that is a lie. There is no way, from here, that we’re seeing the ocean.
After we went hiking, we drove to the nearby town of Julian and had lunch. I’ve been there at least once before, but the only memory I had of the place was my brother throwing up en route due to the ultra-winding roads. As it turns out, there isn’t really much to remember about the place–it runs about one full block and that’s it. 
One look at my placemat and I knew this was not my sort of town. God this and Jesus that and Savior the other thing. It’s a wonder my lunch wasn’t poisoned in order to send me to god’s loving arms faster, but then again, most of the clientele were doddering around in their 80s, so perhaps the owner figures there’s no sense hurrying along what’s bound to come in due course soon enough.
Look at this dazzling sidewalk display! It really makes you want to shop at the Old Julian Garage, doesn’t it? A camouflage hat AND a ‘poster’ printed on an 8.5×11″ sheet of paper! What with its tasteful displays and clever use of space, surely they have something that will fill my–oh fuck it.
I am quite certain this signpost has more signs than Julian has places to go. 
I was suckered in by the store name ‘Pistols and Petticoats’.
As it turns out, they sell cheap underwear and cap guns. I had no idea that a concept could be dragged so low. Luckily, it was right next to the candy store, so we were able to fortify our blood sugar and then get the fudge out of town.