Date Archives February 2008



There are bees in my grocery store? Bees in this box? Doing their bee business? HOW DOES THAT WORK? Does anyone else think it’s a PROBLEM that there are BEES IN THIS BOX IN MY GROCERY STORE? What do the bees eat if they never leave their box? Is it connected to some complex bee-factory with flowers in the nearby warehouse? Why don’t I hear buzzing? Why am I nervous about tapping the box to investigate further?

You have no idea how much I want to lift the lid and run.

The good news is that I smell like mint.

What I learned today: taking Tylenol ‘Sore Throat’ with CoolBurstTM is pretty much what I imagine chugging toothpaste would be like. RetchtacularTM!

Also, as part of Project: Flood the Office, whoever signed me up for a bunch of horrible ladies’ fashion catalogs under the name ‘Mellzah, Queen Douchebag’…genius. Please step forward to receive your beating award.


SO SICK. Ugh. I felt a little ‘off’ yesterday, but this morning it’s like I was beaten with the sick stick. I feel like I’m moving around underwater. My throat hurts. I’ve felt nauseated all day. I just want to go home, curl up in a ball, and maybe die. Why, why won’t they let me go home?

I’ve got a meeting tomorrow night that I can’t miss. I have to concentrate on feeling better before then. That, or perhaps I can give the plague to them and start wiping out the population on a small scale. By the time the government figures out that I’m a biological weapon, it’ll be too late and I’ll be Queen.

…of the Lepers.