On Thursday, we had a friends Thanksgiving get-together; Tristan cooked a lot and I ‘helped’ by supervising and getting underfoot. My sole contribution was the vegetable tray, and while preparing this contribution, I discovered that I had purchased a demonic red pepper.
Not often in the history of time, space, and Brothers Grimm lore is evil conquered by being eaten, but I’ll have you know that on this day, good did prevail in just that manner.
After a game of Bang! (which is fast-becoming a holiday tradition), we then split up into three teams for the world’s closest game of Cranium. I experienced what might go down in history as the proudest moment of my life when Tristan guessed ‘tea bag’ from my incomprehensible eyes-closed scribbles that honestly looked more like a shovel being plunged into a steaming turd than anything else. If I ever contract glaucoma and go blind like my grandfather, clearly drawing pictures to communicate is not my best option.
To close out the evening, we watched the Rifftrax version of ‘The Room’, which deserves every bit of negative criticism it has received; it deserves it because in turn, it hurt me so very, very deeply inside. It is unfathomable to me that this movie cost six million dollars to make, in light of the fact that it had all of two sets, five ‘actors’ (I use that term very loosely), and clearly no one was paid to clean up the storyline or even edit it into a coherent piece. But you shouldn’t take me at my word–you should watch it for yourself. In fact, you should probably watch the trailer now. And then watch the related videos. I’ll wait.
Once you’ve experienced the torture that is The Room, the rest of life’s challenges will seem mundane by comparison. Public speaking? Not a problem anymore, nothing you do or say could hurt you more or be less coherent than The Room. Picked up by terrorists for torture for fun and profit? Waterboarding will be a BREEZE compared to The Room–it’s just a few seconds, compared to an HOUR AND A HALF of the worst sort of nothing happening! You can take up slap-fights, death-sports, eating glass, and recreational furniture made out of nails; nothing will hurt you more than The Room.
that veggie tray was great and delicious since the only veggie thing that appears in their house is Tristan’s overly peppered green beans. I appreciated the cucumbers.
Ugh that movie was sooo sooo bad. “You’re tearing me apaaaart!” I thought it was hilarious Eric’s siblings didn’t know how to react to all the sex scenes which were slightly pornographic with all that man ass.
Cucumbers are one of those things that don’t show up on veg trays too often but I love them too much not to include them.
I thought about plucking out my own eyes a couple of times during the movie; I feel like that chick’s boobs were out for a good 50% of the film, and even if that’s not the case, it felt that way.