Annnnnd this is why I don’t use Myspace anymore

12 Comments read Everything is Terrible

Last night, I logged into Myspace for that brief moment to do my Internet Detective work. In those few minutes, I received this message:

Totally off the wall I know, but if I were to pay u 800 or something would you let me have a go at ur feet?

no disrespect!

just curious on what you would say

Please help me draft a reply. ‘Hell yes’ is not only unacceptable, but also boring.

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12 Comments Annnnnd this is why I don’t use Myspace anymore

  1. entropic_system July 2, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    “You may, however there are a few stipulations first.

    The first thing is that I require a loufa to properly lather my feet first (I like my feet to be clean). Preferably, you will use some kind of soap that does not irritate my sensitive skin.

    Secondly, I have heard that salmon is an excellent exfoliate, so you you will need to rub my feet with that next.

    Finally, you must be willing to have me sodomize you with 4-foot-long boa constrictor and post it on the internet.”

    If that doesn’t scare him off….wow.

    1. beachin July 2, 2009 at 4:37 pm

      This one gets my vote.

  2. pretzelcoatl July 2, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    The only thing I can think of is “Sure! But you may want to make sure that you get the right equipment first. The calluses and corns are very tough to get through.”

    Lame, I know. 🙁

  3. echoeversky July 2, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    You..

    indeed may lavish worship upon my feet like a mendicant monk in prayer.

    To prepare for such you must supplicate yourself on the field of dharma, cast from yourself your attachment, free yourself from the chain of causation, and in union with Now, complete rituals of purity.

    E.

  4. captain_slinky July 2, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    “Sorry, I didn’t have the doctors keep them.”

  5. darwinpolice July 2, 2009 at 7:55 pm

    “In addition to $800, I expect you to take me out to dinner and… foot the bill.”

  6. watchout5 July 2, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    “Excuse me but I feel a little insulted, the other day I was offered $1600 just to look at me through bullet proof glass. I suggest you raise your price.

    no disrespect!

    just curious if you want my paypal address”

  7. poetrix618 July 2, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    “Have a go”? He’s British.

    1. katura July 3, 2009 at 11:17 am

      Could be Australian..

  8. poetrix618 July 2, 2009 at 8:19 pm

    I am not hanging on Myspace these days. I caught Facebook fever and prefer pretty much everything about it to the former.

    Only checked it out last night because an old HS friend wanted to connect with me there.

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