This just in: According to photographs taken of me during my glorious half-marathon finish, I look like I’m participating in the Special Olympics when I run. I’m sooooo glad that with the aid of the internet, these will be available for people to view and mock me, lo, until the end of time.
WAY TO KILL MY POLITICAL CAREER, YOU PHOTOGRAPHY BASTARDS.
There are certain days when the only thing which prevents me from being the victim of a justifiable homicide is my lack of Photoshop skills.
I *do* know where you live. And work. So….lack of Photoshop skills shouldn’t be the only thing that makes you think twice in this particular instance.
This is the kind of concept/execution problem I run up against all the damn time.
In order to achieve your meanest goals, you really need to start picking on people anonymously.
In order to achieve your meanest goals, you really need to start picking on people anonymously.
This is the kind of concept/execution problem I run up against all the damn time.
I *do* know where you live. And work. So….lack of Photoshop skills shouldn’t be the only thing that makes you think twice in this particular instance.
There are certain days when the only thing which prevents me from being the victim of a justifiable homicide is my lack of Photoshop skills.
This is my favorite post of the year.
<3
<3
This is my favorite post of the year.
Was that the half-marathon for incontinents?
My problems, though numerous, do not count incontinence among them.
You’d be sure to win!
Win the half-marathon by tugging at the heartstrings of the more beautiful/fortunate, or win my bid for the dictatorship?
If it were the half-marathon for incontinents, you’d win because you wouldn’t need to detour into the bushes every couple hundred feet. It’d be like being in the special olympics!
If it were the half-marathon for incontinents, you’d win because you wouldn’t need to detour into the bushes every couple hundred feet. It’d be like being in the special olympics!
Win the half-marathon by tugging at the heartstrings of the more beautiful/fortunate, or win my bid for the dictatorship?
You’d be sure to win!
My problems, though numerous, do not count incontinence among them.
Was that the half-marathon for incontinents?
Just thought you’d like to know, I’ve changed your name in my phone to read ‘Dildarian, Mellzah’
Of course, now it actually appears on your messages. Evidently it was just waiting for your one true name.
That’s beautiful. :sniff:
That’s beautiful. :sniff:
Just thought you’d like to know, I’ve changed your name in my phone to read ‘Dildarian, Mellzah’
Of course, now it actually appears on your messages. Evidently it was just waiting for your one true name.
Are poster sizes available yet?
Actually, yes. They’re selling poster-size for 47.99 + tax + s&h.
So, you know, if you wanted to hang it on your ceiling and fall asleep/wake up laughing hysterically, that’s an option.
They don’t come any bigger? My ceiling is much bigger than that.
Sadly, no. You may have to hire a mural painter to get it as large as you’d like it. 🙁
What good is the internet if you can’t get a ceiling size picture of a glorious half-marathon finish. We need to just erase it all and start over again.
A picture that big would clog the internet tubes! IT’S NOT A TRUCK, CHRIS.
A picture that big would clog the internet tubes! IT’S NOT A TRUCK, CHRIS.
What good is the internet if you can’t get a ceiling size picture of a glorious half-marathon finish. We need to just erase it all and start over again.
Sadly, no. You may have to hire a mural painter to get it as large as you’d like it. 🙁
They don’t come any bigger? My ceiling is much bigger than that.
Actually, yes. They’re selling poster-size for 47.99 + tax + s&h.
So, you know, if you wanted to hang it on your ceiling and fall asleep/wake up laughing hysterically, that’s an option.
Are poster sizes available yet?
I must see the pics. We are in head-to-head competition for tragically unphotogenic.
Last night, at a birthday party, someone took a picture of me, flanked by two of my friends. Except, the freaking camera took waaaayyy too long, and by the time it actually fired, I had given up. Made me look like a middle-aged snapping turtle complete with turkey waddle coming up for air. And, of course, everyone laughed and SAVED the picture. WTF?
I want to be a vampire. No reflections, no images… heaven.
…oh wait…found ’em!
I can’t believe how easy it was to find pics of this event. Ironic, isn’t it?
My retard-o-tron pictures or yours?
“That’s Retard-o-Tron. He… uh… it seems that he just crapped his pants for the Users.”
“That’s Retard-o-Tron. He… uh… it seems that he just crapped his pants for the Users.”
My retard-o-tron pictures or yours?
…oh wait…found ’em!
I can’t believe how easy it was to find pics of this event. Ironic, isn’t it?
I must see the pics. We are in head-to-head competition for tragically unphotogenic.
Last night, at a birthday party, someone took a picture of me, flanked by two of my friends. Except, the freaking camera took waaaayyy too long, and by the time it actually fired, I had given up. Made me look like a middle-aged snapping turtle complete with turkey waddle coming up for air. And, of course, everyone laughed and SAVED the picture. WTF?
I want to be a vampire. No reflections, no images… heaven.
Uh…your pictures.
I googled a few terms and the pictures showed up as the second hit.
Oh god. I deleted my reno 911 video to avoid offending potential employers, and then THIS comes around. NOW they’re going to think I’m flat-out retarded. THIS SHIT IS NOT RIGHT.
Oh god. I deleted my reno 911 video to avoid offending potential employers, and then THIS comes around. NOW they’re going to think I’m flat-out retarded. THIS SHIT IS NOT RIGHT.
Uh…your pictures.
I googled a few terms and the pictures showed up as the second hit.
the upside of photos like that, is after a few you can safely conclude that your potential political career is done and then the _real_ fun can start ;]
Want to go snort coke off of stripper asses with me?
Want to go snort coke off of stripper asses with me?
the upside of photos like that, is after a few you can safely conclude that your potential political career is done and then the _real_ fun can start ;]
Too bad photos have such power.
I had a misguided idea once about putting a picture of myself on Match.com that showed me wearing devil horns at an “innapropriate holiday party” while scooping a cake (really a cake) designed to look alarmingly like a litter box with an actual (brand new, really)litter scoop. I know all this because I baked the cake myself.
My warped reasoning: This photo will distract viewers from any possibly unflattering photos of me while showing I have a sense of humor. My friend, Norm, quickly put a stop to that idea, for the sake of my dating future.
Moral of the story: if you’re going to take a good picture, make sure you’re wearing something odd or doing something not easily explained to balance things out.
Too bad photos have such power.
I had a misguided idea once about putting a picture of myself on Match.com that showed me wearing devil horns at an “innapropriate holiday party” while scooping a cake (really a cake) designed to look alarmingly like a litter box with an actual (brand new, really)litter scoop. I know all this because I baked the cake myself.
My warped reasoning: This photo will distract viewers from any possibly unflattering photos of me while showing I have a sense of humor. My friend, Norm, quickly put a stop to that idea, for the sake of my dating future.
Moral of the story: if you’re going to take a good picture, make sure you’re wearing something odd or doing something not easily explained to balance things out.