Yesterday, whilst I was at the grocery store, I decided I ought to pick up the pinata I need for Saturday’s Chicken & Porn shindig (Yes, the grocery store I shop at also sells pinatas because obviously I am a classy lass and only shop at the very best of stores). The problem was that they are stored way up high and the only way to reach them is to locate an employee (this runs about even odds with me waking up one morning and tripping over the Hope diamond sitting on the floor of my bedroom) or scale a lot of shelving that doesn’t seem all that sturdy.
The third option is to be Mellzah. I just stand there, all pocket-size, and stamp my tiny hoof and look at the thing I want that’s much too high to reach, perhaps emit a little huff with my lower lip stuck out, and always, ALWAYS some dude will wander by who is more than happy to clamber up a bunch of rickety shelving or scale a virtual Everest of boxes to grab me the thing I want that’s at the very tippy top so that I don’t have to endanger myself in the slightest OR engage in any physical activity.
I think this is related to my ability to be pulled over for a number of ticketable driving offenses (almost hitting a homeless guy dressed in all black who leaped out in front of my car on Cap Hill during a downpour, blown out headlights, turned OFF headlights, cutting someone off (truthfully, I don’t think that was my fault since the jackalope wouldn’t let me merge and it was either cut him off or be run into a guardrail), plates expired for over six months) and I have NEVER gotten a ticket.
I will likely die of starvation within a week of the time women take over and I can no longer use my hoof-stamping mane-tossing tiny pony powers to get what I want.
I must be related to you because I use my powers to say in a tiny pleading voice, “Can you be tall for me?”
hahahaha YES. In the tiniest voice possible!
hahahaha YES. In the tiniest voice possible!
I must be related to you because I use my powers to say in a tiny pleading voice, “Can you be tall for me?”
I am very tall and I will always reach things for you, whenever I am in proximity. This is my vow to you.
Excellent. When the ladies take over, I’m moving in. This is my vow to you.
Excellent. When the ladies take over, I’m moving in. This is my vow to you.
I am very tall and I will always reach things for you, whenever I am in proximity. This is my vow to you.
A bite-size terror, that’s you. It does seem to be true that short girls can ramp the Cute frequency up even higher.
cheers,
Phil
We both get something out of the transaction: I get whatever it is that my wee hands couldn’t reach, and the guy gets to feel big and manly. Win-Win!
We both get something out of the transaction: I get whatever it is that my wee hands couldn’t reach, and the guy gets to feel big and manly. Win-Win!
A bite-size terror, that’s you. It does seem to be true that short girls can ramp the Cute frequency up even higher.
cheers,
Phil
As long as there are big ole’ dykes like me around, I think you’ll be safe.
I can only hope! 🙂
I can only hope! 🙂
As long as there are big ole’ dykes like me around, I think you’ll be safe.
We did a pinata at a party before…and used anal beads to bust it open.
TOOK FOREVER
THIS IS THE GAME PLAN.
P.S. Do I need to buy a garter for dildo ring-toss or do you have one in your Suitcase of Broken Dreams?
I got you covered! I have the beads, the garters, the dildos, the strap on…
Oh man. I hope I don’t scare anybody away…
BEST. PARTY. EVER.
BEST. PARTY. EVER.
Wait. Won’t you tell me more about this party?
This Saturday at 7pm there will be a Chicken & Porn passion party at Mellzah Dildarians House of Chicken & Dildos; we will eat chickens, Mardi will show us her wares, we will play party games, and then watch and mock bad porno. Want in? Gimme your email address and I’ll shoot you the address info.
Unfortunately, I know I will have no self control in such an environment; I’d wind up humping the furniture.
My email is Xine at tmail dot com.
Luckily will be there to either restrain you or join in on the humpage.
Luckily will be there to either restrain you or join in on the humpage.
Unfortunately, I know I will have no self control in such an environment; I’d wind up humping the furniture.
My email is Xine at tmail dot com.
This Saturday at 7pm there will be a Chicken & Porn passion party at Mellzah Dildarians House of Chicken & Dildos; we will eat chickens, Mardi will show us her wares, we will play party games, and then watch and mock bad porno. Want in? Gimme your email address and I’ll shoot you the address info.
Wait. Won’t you tell me more about this party?
I got you covered! I have the beads, the garters, the dildos, the strap on…
Oh man. I hope I don’t scare anybody away…
I vote you combine the pinata with your newfound love for firearms.
Darlin, I don’t own a gun, I just borrow them and Wade of Wade’s guns is unlikely to let me bring one home no matter how many times I stamp my hoof or plead in a teeny tiny voice.
I didn’t specify the details — I’m just an idea guy.
I would also like to note that your idea involves firing a weapon inside my apartment.
May I suggest a simple DIY toy modification?
Do we REALLY want me handling anything with more ignition power than your average lighter? Really? Even the instructable says it’s ‘dangerouse’ which is a step BEYOND dangerous!
Oh see I thought it meant it was one step below “Dangermouse” which meant you’d have to lay down your own soundtrack while you did it.
But I think the whacking a pinata is played out. Setting it on fire with contrived flamethrowers is the new hotness. You’ll end up with a show on Empty V I’m sure.
If not in prison for torching my apartment complex. Famous OR infamous!
If not in prison for torching my apartment complex. Famous OR infamous!
Oh see I thought it meant it was one step below “Dangermouse” which meant you’d have to lay down your own soundtrack while you did it.
But I think the whacking a pinata is played out. Setting it on fire with contrived flamethrowers is the new hotness. You’ll end up with a show on Empty V I’m sure.
Do we REALLY want me handling anything with more ignition power than your average lighter? Really? Even the instructable says it’s ‘dangerouse’ which is a step BEYOND dangerous!
May I suggest a simple DIY toy modification?
Or bringing the pinata to the shooting range!
…a WORLD OF WRONG will happen when people run past the line, 30 yards out, to collect candy while other gun enthusiasts are still firing.
However, it could be funny for my next shooting outing–I’m taking Tristan soon and I am certain nothing will strengthen our friendship more than going to town on an innocent paper and cardboard donkey. 🙂
…a WORLD OF WRONG will happen when people run past the line, 30 yards out, to collect candy while other gun enthusiasts are still firing.
However, it could be funny for my next shooting outing–I’m taking Tristan soon and I am certain nothing will strengthen our friendship more than going to town on an innocent paper and cardboard donkey. 🙂
Or bringing the pinata to the shooting range!
I would also like to note that your idea involves firing a weapon inside my apartment.
I didn’t specify the details — I’m just an idea guy.
Darlin, I don’t own a gun, I just borrow them and Wade of Wade’s guns is unlikely to let me bring one home no matter how many times I stamp my hoof or plead in a teeny tiny voice.
I vote you combine the pinata with your newfound love for firearms.
THIS IS THE GAME PLAN.
P.S. Do I need to buy a garter for dildo ring-toss or do you have one in your Suitcase of Broken Dreams?
I’ve got the horribawesome mental image of a pull-start pinata stuck in my head now. I think I’ll revel in it for a few more minutes before I attempt to gouge it out of my brain with a pencil.
Guess what I got you for your birthday!?!
Banned from being within 1000 feet of an elementary school, I expect.
That’s not something I can share with everyone!
…though it’s not a bad idea.
That’s not something I can share with everyone!
…though it’s not a bad idea.
Banned from being within 1000 feet of an elementary school, I expect.
Guess what I got you for your birthday!?!
How ironic! I have a gas powered set of anal beads!!
diesel powered would have more torque. Helps in removal when you really gotta get in a low gear to crawl outta that stuck spot.
OMG !!!!
So wrong. This is why you’re one of my favorite people!
OMG !!!!
So wrong. This is why you’re one of my favorite people!
diesel powered would have more torque. Helps in removal when you really gotta get in a low gear to crawl outta that stuck spot.
How ironic! I have a gas powered set of anal beads!!
I’ve got the horribawesome mental image of a pull-start pinata stuck in my head now. I think I’ll revel in it for a few more minutes before I attempt to gouge it out of my brain with a pencil.
We did a pinata at a party before…and used anal beads to bust it open.
TOOK FOREVER
heh at hope diamond.
The boyfriend says I have a knack for doing the most crazy illegal things whilst driving and not a cop to be had around but when I’m being law biding, they are around every corner and decide to pull me and my friends over (who are in trench coats mind you, smoking cigs in the car) and ask us if we are hiding alcohol cause we are full up and dressed in black. I was 19 at the time, leaving Rocky Horror late at night and it took 2 damn cop cars to give us a once over.
pff.
Also-I am muchly interested in what fine store it is you go to. I’m sure it has a door to another universe in it:D
Man, I always fear the two-cop car pull-over because that supposedly means they are ready to make an arrest.
I shop at WinCo!
Man, I always fear the two-cop car pull-over because that supposedly means they are ready to make an arrest.
I shop at WinCo!
heh at hope diamond.
The boyfriend says I have a knack for doing the most crazy illegal things whilst driving and not a cop to be had around but when I’m being law biding, they are around every corner and decide to pull me and my friends over (who are in trench coats mind you, smoking cigs in the car) and ask us if we are hiding alcohol cause we are full up and dressed in black. I was 19 at the time, leaving Rocky Horror late at night and it took 2 damn cop cars to give us a once over.
pff.
Also-I am muchly interested in what fine store it is you go to. I’m sure it has a door to another universe in it:D
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA