Last night after I got home from work I threw in some laundry and settled in to watch some Olympian athletes get some exercise and potentially get some exercise myself by shouting encouraging things like “SWIM FASTER, GODDAMNIT!”
They were currently showing the Men’s Gymnastics All Around, and mentioned that Paul Hamm was the best contender the US had ever had. I watched him through floor exercise, pommel horse, and the still rings. They kept breaking up the Men’s Gymnastics to show swimming and bicycling and all sorts of other activities, but I really wanted to see this young Wisconsinite succeed. So I kept watching…and watching… He goes up to vault, and this is where I really start pulling for him. “Cmon….you can do it…” and it is at that exact moment I should have known he was destined to fail. For, you see, I had chosen him as my Favorite. This is not something that is unique to sports–if I watch a beauty pageant, once they get down to the top five, I’ll choose my Favorite to win. She’ll get 5th place. Then I’ll choose again. She’ll get fourth place. At no time is my Favorite ever EVER allowed to win. And this is how I knew Paul Hamm was destined to fail. Surely enough, he runs, vaults, spins a few times in the air…and falls on his ass.
“oooooh, you can’t recover from a fall like that. What a disappointment for the US.”
I turned off the TV in disgust.
Lesley calls me this morning, we chat a little bit and she mentioned she saw Paul Hamm take gold last night.
“WHAT?? But I saw him fall on his keister! The commentators said it was ALL OVER for him!”
“Yeah, well he did really well on the last two events.”
I am utterly convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I had not turned my television off, Hamm would have lost.
What would one even call this particular superpower?
Ever see The Cooler? Heh. You are the anti-good luck charm. I’m going to call your particular power…….. Failuria. With a capital “Fail” Plus it sounds like some sort of new urinary tract infection. heh.
Heh, I seem to have this power on Cat’s “clicky clicky”. :P>
Keep your Failuria away from my urethra!
I like it! And I shall use it from now on!
ironic?
No, that’s far too commonplace. I must maintain delusions of being SPECIAL.
Okay, do me a favor and do NOT wish me good luck with that new job. Oh, and while you’re at it, I’m sure Lin could use some support from you!!! Go wish her all the best!!
I have a voodoo doll with her hair on it. I’ve been stabbing it for over a year now. It seems to be working. Maybe it would work faster if I hugged it?