Shortly after all of the exchange students arrived, we were all placed in a cram school for two months to hopefully cram some Mandarin into our heads. There are a lot of different languages spoken in Taiwan: Mandarin Chinese, Taiwanese, Hakka, plus a variety of aboriginal languages, but it was felt that Mandarin would be the most useful for us.

It’s funny, though, after we all picked up enough Chinese to know when the Rotarians or our host families were talking about us in right in front of us, they’d switch over to Taiwanese. I imagine that if we started learning Taiwanese, they’d start in on ANOTHER language, just to keep a step ahead of us. Furthermore, it didn’t matter how much Chinese we learned, it seemed as if the Taiwanese had special flaps over their ears so they could only hear English coming from foreigners. We’d approach a vendor, ask for what we wanted in Chinese, and they’d turn around and say “We….uh…no English.” Yes…but…ok, but I was speaking to you in CHINESE.

I digress. They placed all ~30 of us in this cram school (all exchange students went to Taipei that year…in future years, possibly because of US, students would be sent all over the country) to learn the language and also to bond with each other. After a couple of weeks, they tested us and placed us in three different classes based on one’s aptitude with the language. The best students went into Class A. bethy824 was assigned to Class B. *I* went into Class C. Apparently my retardation showed up sort of early. It was interesting, though: The way they divided us up became very indicative as to whom we would spend the majority of our time with over the rest of the year. A lot of the Class A students disappeared on us after the first two months were up, whereas Class B and C bonded and formed our own group of super awesomeosity. Actually, I take that back. It was mostly the Germans who disappeared on us. Lisa locked herself in her room and studied Chinese all day long, Max thought everything we did was ‘a little bit stupid’, I saw Jerry maybe twice after cram school ended, and Hannah was perhaps the only one of us to fit right in with her Taiwanese classmates. Eva and Lukas apparently enjoyed slumming as they still hung around with us. My class consisted of Natacha, Claire, Audrey, Marie (all French), Eva and Lisa (Germany), Maria (Russia) and Jerome (Belgium). As another side note, I furthermore find it interesting that in a culture that reveres males so highly, so many female exchange students were chosen by the Taiwanese Rotary. After our two months were up, each class had to put on a play for the Rotary clubs. Class A did a play about what life was like for an exchange student in Taiwan. Class B did a series of skits. Class C did a re-interpretation of Snow White. Re-interpretation meaning “what we could do with our limited Chinese, plus Snow White and the Handsome Prince meet in a disco instead of in the forest, and some creative changes so Natacha did not have to kiss Jerome, because that was an aspect she was totally not thrilled about.” Marie played a dwarf and the assassin. I like the idea of a dwarf assassin very much.

I think the rice paddy hats were a nice touch.

My narcissistic ass got to play the wicked witch. After the dwarves knocked me down, Snow White STABBED ME. After the plays were all over, they handed out awards for ‘best chinese speakers’ and whatnot. Somehow, even as a Class C student, I managed to walk away with first place. I think there were some politics going on there, because I certainly was NOT the most fluent at that point. My host mother and CP Su Mei both mentioned that the Taiwanese especially like the way that Americans speak Chinese, as they consider us to have less of an ‘accent’ when we speak.

bethy824 also received an award for being superawesomeOMGWOW. All of our accomplishments as exchange students were important to our host families, because it gave them ‘face’. Face is an essential component of the Chinese national psyche. Having face means having a high status in the eyes of one’s peers, and is a mark of personal dignity. The Chinese are acutely sensitive to gaining and maintaining face in all aspects of social and business life. Face is a prized commodity which can be given, lost, taken away or earned. My being #1 most awesome speaker did have an amazing prize to go with it, though: All of the exchange students were to go to meet the President of Taiwan, Chen Shui-Bian, who also happened to be a Rotarian. I got to meet with him personally and give a speech. My host mother was my speechwriter, because, yeah, even as #1mostawesomeChinesespeaker, my Chinese…not that hot. The speech went something like this: Honorable President, how are you? Honorable men, how are you? I am a Rotary exchange student; my name is Pure Plum Blossom. We all are very thankful to the Rotary for giving us this chance to live here in Taiwan, and also to meet your Honorable President. We hope to learn a lot, and make a lot of new friends here in Taiwan. We are thankful to our host families for opening their homes and hearts to us. Thank you all. I love you all. Very evidently I was not the speechwriter for that. I’d make a voice post with it in Chinese, but over these last 5 years my Chinese has deteriorated to the point that I would be embarrased to do so; I’ve got all of the vocab in the speech written down so I haven’t lost THAT at least, but my pronunciation is shit now. It was an interesting time to meet with Taiwan’s president, because it was the first time that the Democratic Progressive Party had won the election over the Kuomintang. The DPP is strongly for Taiwanese Independence. However, the symbol on the Taiwanese flag is actually that of the Kuomintang. Chang Kai-Shek is revered there, and is the founder of the Kuomintang in Taiwan, and there are many monuments built for him throughout the country. Additionally, his face appears on all of their money. In order to win office, the DPP actually had to promise that they would not change any of their national symbols to reflect their party; so even as the head of government, they are surrounded by symbols of the other political party.

All of us in the Presidential building. No, we aren’t all leaning to one side, the picture was too damn big to scan properly.

The business card of Chen Shui-Bian on the gift he gave me. The gift itself is a crystal with an image of Taiwan carved out inside with lasers, and the base says ‘From the Office of the President’. I’ve got it sitting out on my coffee table; it’s right up there as one of the coolest things I own.

Apparently it was a slow news day.

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