Son of a Gun of a Bitch

On Sunday, Tristan sent me a message, inviting me to see Ratatat; he and his roommate were not going out to dinner beforehand, but v1c1ous was going to House of Hong with some friends and I was welcome to join them.

I’m really glad I did; Sean’s friends were delightful dinner company, and together we ordered a family dinner. A family dinner that nearly killed us…with deliciousness. We started off strong, all of us digging in enthusiastically. By the fourth course, we’d all started to slow down. By the 9th, we were all groaning and about ready to die. At one point, we had six different courses on the table, and each one was the most delicious thing in the world. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN? Toward the end, we started commenting on lobster battles and making fun of neighboring tables and anything that would delay us from standing up because we lacked the proper bloodflow to handle walking; we also were unable to form coherent sentences. Tristan called at one point to find out where we were, I think, but none of us really knew what he was talking about, or cared, or could comprehend spoken language.

There is a soup on the menu at House of Hong that costs $350 and is intended for 10 people. At some point, a group will have to be gathered for the express purpose of consuming this soup.

We eventually made our way over to the venue, which was packed with squealing pre-teens. Hurrah for the bar area! Before the opening bands started playing, Tristan offered earplugs around. Oh no, we were all much too cool to protect our hearing. After the first band started playing, Tristan pulled out the earplug package and waggled it, and this time, all of us but one grabbed a set. It’s one thing to lose hearing from rock concerts. It’s another to lose hearing to an awful, awful, awful band. No, I don’t know what their name was. Yes, I could look it up. No, I don’t care to do so. It was fronted by a guy who looked exactly like the Chocolate Rain dude, the whole band jerked around onstage like rhythmless chickens, and they were singing songs about: positivity, jesus, and…running away from home at 16 after being punished for kissing a boy. I was not their target audience.

The second act was even worse. It was a whiteboy rapper, of the ‘look how hard I am trying to be thug’ variety. I am tempted to write a letter to Eminem and ask him to apologize for paving the road for this dude. LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE WROUGHT, MARSHALL. Half-finished, unpracticed songs with titles like “The Chicken Featha Licka” and “Son of a Gun of a Bitch”, and this guy is almost ready to roll with Herbert Kornfeld in the Nite Rida. Shit, maybe this guy is Baby Prince H Tha Stone Col’ Dopest Biz-ook-kizeepin’ Muthafukkin’ Badass Supastar Kornfeld Tha Second!

I am curious as to whether Ratatat purposefully picked wretched openers to make them appear even better by comparison, but they really don’t need to resort to such trickeries, as they’re awesome. AWESOME. Not only did I get to hear some killer music, but I got to enjoy another one of my favorite activities: watching people dance like jackasses. Bless you, Ratatat, for making that happen for me. Bless you.

82 Comments Son of a Gun of a Bitch

  1. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 12:09 am

    Soup? Count me in motherfucker!

    Also: I love you.

    1. admin April 2, 2009 at 12:14 am

      Fuck yeah! 2 down, 8 to go!

      I love you so hard. <3

      1. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 3:33 am

        GOOD!

        SOMEONE HAS TO!

        (taylor is on a date right now. presumably, with the girl who wears the size extra small underwear that I found in my room after I got home from NYC)

        1. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:50 am

          Extra small? Are you sure he isn’t dating little boys now?

          1. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 3:52 am

            Little boys in mesh zebra panties?

            OH! And I just looked at my bank account and… homeboy paid for the date out of my account. So… That’s awesome.

          2. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:55 am

            Thai ladybois can wear whatever panties they want, don’t hate.

            Also: Just say the word. Broken kneecaps. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

          3. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 3:57 am

            He’s at the movies right now. This is so fucking… I don’t…. I can’t… I don’t…. I…..

            I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF I MIGHT HAVE TO STORM INTO PACIFIC FUCKING PLACE AND SHANK A BITCH.

          4. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:59 am

            NOooooooooo babydoll, bad idea. I can’t post bail for you as Napoleon cleaned me out!

          5. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 4:01 am

            Okay, well, I’m fresh out of shanks anyway. I pretty much just dumped him via text, since he’s in a movie and obviously turned off his phone.

          6. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:03 am

            I’m not sure what the laws are, but I thought that if the account was in your name only, it still qualifies as theft. Tell him to get his grubby mitts off of what YOU earned!

          7. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 4:05 am

            It’s still in both names. I took away his card, but it looks like he found it.

            FUCK FUCK FUCK. I can barely pay the rent and he’s staying here for fucking free and I’m footing the fucking bill for his dates. FUCKING RADICAL.

          8. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:18 am

            Why isn’t he contributing if he’s living there?

          9. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:29 am

            I’m so sorry, hon. 🙁

          10. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 4:30 am

            It’s been a long time coming.

            I am just finally mad enough to do it.

          11. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 4:30 am

            It’s been a long time coming.

            I am just finally mad enough to do it.

          12. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:29 am

            I’m so sorry, hon. 🙁

          13. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:18 am

            Why isn’t he contributing if he’s living there?

          14. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 4:05 am

            It’s still in both names. I took away his card, but it looks like he found it.

            FUCK FUCK FUCK. I can barely pay the rent and he’s staying here for fucking free and I’m footing the fucking bill for his dates. FUCKING RADICAL.

          15. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:03 am

            I’m not sure what the laws are, but I thought that if the account was in your name only, it still qualifies as theft. Tell him to get his grubby mitts off of what YOU earned!

          16. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 4:01 am

            Okay, well, I’m fresh out of shanks anyway. I pretty much just dumped him via text, since he’s in a movie and obviously turned off his phone.

          17. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:59 am

            NOooooooooo babydoll, bad idea. I can’t post bail for you as Napoleon cleaned me out!

          18. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 3:57 am

            He’s at the movies right now. This is so fucking… I don’t…. I can’t… I don’t…. I…..

            I AM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF I MIGHT HAVE TO STORM INTO PACIFIC FUCKING PLACE AND SHANK A BITCH.

          19. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:55 am

            Thai ladybois can wear whatever panties they want, don’t hate.

            Also: Just say the word. Broken kneecaps. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

          20. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 3:52 am

            Little boys in mesh zebra panties?

            OH! And I just looked at my bank account and… homeboy paid for the date out of my account. So… That’s awesome.

        2. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:50 am

          Extra small? Are you sure he isn’t dating little boys now?

      2. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 3:33 am

        GOOD!

        SOMEONE HAS TO!

        (taylor is on a date right now. presumably, with the girl who wears the size extra small underwear that I found in my room after I got home from NYC)

    2. admin April 2, 2009 at 12:14 am

      Fuck yeah! 2 down, 8 to go!

      I love you so hard. <3

  2. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 12:09 am

    Soup? Count me in motherfucker!

    Also: I love you.

  3. travelbothroads April 2, 2009 at 1:03 am

    I too, am violently curious about this $350 dollar soup.

    Also, I had no idea Ratatat was even in town… or maybe I did and blocked it out because I knew it was busy. Anyway, sounds like a good show full of shitty openers (seems to be the running theme for this week).

    1. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:07 am

      Sweet, with you, Shannon, Lanny & I, we only need 6 more to make delicious soups happen! 🙂 Plus I think everyone at dinner that night expressed an interest in the soup as well, so we’d only need 3 more. SOUP IS IMMINENT.

      1. mschilepepper April 2, 2009 at 9:34 am

        I dunno, man. $35 a head for soup? That shit better have some unicorn meat in it for that much.

        1. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:07 pm

          Yes, that’s a lot for soup (though it’s about in line for what they charge for shark fin soup), but at the same time, it’s a pretty low price point for the experience. Plus, it’s something you might not ever have the opportunity to eat again.

          1. mschilepepper April 2, 2009 at 9:57 pm

            Good points. So what’s in it? HoH’s website doesn’t post a menu, and I don’t remember the soup from the last time I was there.

          2. admin April 2, 2009 at 10:38 pm

            I’m not sure, it’s called something like “Ten Buddhist Treasures”.

          3. mschilepepper April 2, 2009 at 11:11 pm

            I’m so intrigued. Let’s hope that’s not a euphemism for “Clean Out The Refrigerator” soup.

          4. admin April 2, 2009 at 11:19 pm

            For $350, it’d better damn well not be!

          5. admin April 2, 2009 at 11:19 pm

            For $350, it’d better damn well not be!

          6. mschilepepper April 2, 2009 at 11:11 pm

            I’m so intrigued. Let’s hope that’s not a euphemism for “Clean Out The Refrigerator” soup.

          7. admin April 2, 2009 at 10:38 pm

            I’m not sure, it’s called something like “Ten Buddhist Treasures”.

          8. mschilepepper April 2, 2009 at 9:57 pm

            Good points. So what’s in it? HoH’s website doesn’t post a menu, and I don’t remember the soup from the last time I was there.

        2. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:07 pm

          Yes, that’s a lot for soup (though it’s about in line for what they charge for shark fin soup), but at the same time, it’s a pretty low price point for the experience. Plus, it’s something you might not ever have the opportunity to eat again.

      2. mschilepepper April 2, 2009 at 9:34 am

        I dunno, man. $35 a head for soup? That shit better have some unicorn meat in it for that much.

    2. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:07 am

      Sweet, with you, Shannon, Lanny & I, we only need 6 more to make delicious soups happen! 🙂 Plus I think everyone at dinner that night expressed an interest in the soup as well, so we’d only need 3 more. SOUP IS IMMINENT.

  4. travelbothroads April 2, 2009 at 1:03 am

    I too, am violently curious about this $350 dollar soup.

    Also, I had no idea Ratatat was even in town… or maybe I did and blocked it out because I knew it was busy. Anyway, sounds like a good show full of shitty openers (seems to be the running theme for this week).

  5. dslartoo April 2, 2009 at 2:20 am

    Well, since Herbert bit the dust, I guess SOMEbody has to keep tha flava goin. And Jerry tha Sharpie-Head don’t look like he gon be doin’ it anytime soon. Reckanize.

    cheers,
    Phil

    1. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:09 am

      A.R. Bruthaz don’t die, theys just krunchin numbaz on the sly.

    2. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:09 am

      A.R. Bruthaz don’t die, theys just krunchin numbaz on the sly.

  6. dslartoo April 2, 2009 at 2:20 am

    Well, since Herbert bit the dust, I guess SOMEbody has to keep tha flava goin. And Jerry tha Sharpie-Head don’t look like he gon be doin’ it anytime soon. Reckanize.

    cheers,
    Phil

  7. la_roja April 2, 2009 at 2:27 am

    I am so down for $350 soup. Keep me in the loop!

    1. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:08 am

      Will do! 🙂

    2. admin April 2, 2009 at 3:08 am

      Will do! 🙂

  8. la_roja April 2, 2009 at 2:27 am

    I am so down for $350 soup. Keep me in the loop!

  9. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 5:39 am

    Ps – I’m back on myspace. /fannyfartle

    1. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:09 pm

      I’m way more of a facebook gal, but I will log in and add you soon, Fanny. <3

      1. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 6:01 pm

        Same, but Taylor won’t divorce me on facebook (since it has to be mutual) and i’m friends with a lot of his friends and family and my employers and I’d prefer to keep this between us. And all your Livejournal friends… hahaha

        1. admin April 2, 2009 at 6:21 pm

          My LJ is a good place to let go of these sorts of things since we don’t have many (any?) mutual friends. Giiiirl, there has been some drama here in the past, I will have to show you the entries sometime.

          1. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 6:22 pm

            oooh!!

            but to be clear — I am not mad THAT he’s on a date. We’re separated. lord knows I have dates from time to time. I’m mad that I’m footing the bill.

          2. admin April 2, 2009 at 6:37 pm

            No no no, I totally get that. Why should you have to work hard to pay for him to have a grand old time and get ass? If he wants to go on dates, he can be a big boy and pay for them.

            Whatever happened w/McDreamy, btw?

            I will PM you the story, I don’t need to throw kerosene on that fire again by posting it publicly now.

          3. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 6:40 pm

            McDreamy left town. He’s in Michigan now. I’m going to visit him in two weeks. THEN WE WILL DRIVE TO OKLAHOMA CITY! It’ll be sexy. We have a few things planned — which is super strange to me, because I’ve only known him for a month and he’s making plans as far ahead as late september.

            Michigan in April
            San Francisco in June
            Burning man in August
            Alaska in September

            On. His. Dime.

            BOO YA.

          4. admin April 2, 2009 at 6:55 pm

            Craigslist FTW. 🙂

          5. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 6:58 pm

            SRSLY.

            btw – My JAW hurts from all the incredulous faces I’m making while reading your entry…

          6. admin April 2, 2009 at 7:09 pm

            Make sure to read the comments, another bomb gets dropped that will have your jaw on the FLOOR.

            It gives me a facial tic just thinking about it.

          7. admin April 2, 2009 at 8:16 pm

            That was the day when I discovered that I am not above actually contemplating murder. To me, he is the Worst Person In The World.

          8. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 9:25 pm

            Oh, I’m not above it. At. ALL. Considering all the scenarios running through my mind last night… He’s lucky he got back after I went to bed.

          9. admin April 2, 2009 at 10:38 pm

            Now, I might be saying this because I didn’t have access to the person or a gun at the time of my rage, but I have discovered that living well is truly the best revenge. And involves no prison time.

          10. admin April 2, 2009 at 10:38 pm

            Now, I might be saying this because I didn’t have access to the person or a gun at the time of my rage, but I have discovered that living well is truly the best revenge. And involves no prison time.

          11. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 9:25 pm

            Oh, I’m not above it. At. ALL. Considering all the scenarios running through my mind last night… He’s lucky he got back after I went to bed.

          12. admin April 2, 2009 at 8:16 pm

            That was the day when I discovered that I am not above actually contemplating murder. To me, he is the Worst Person In The World.

          13. admin April 2, 2009 at 7:09 pm

            Make sure to read the comments, another bomb gets dropped that will have your jaw on the FLOOR.

            It gives me a facial tic just thinking about it.

          14. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 6:58 pm

            SRSLY.

            btw – My JAW hurts from all the incredulous faces I’m making while reading your entry…

          15. admin April 2, 2009 at 6:55 pm

            Craigslist FTW. 🙂

          16. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 6:40 pm

            McDreamy left town. He’s in Michigan now. I’m going to visit him in two weeks. THEN WE WILL DRIVE TO OKLAHOMA CITY! It’ll be sexy. We have a few things planned — which is super strange to me, because I’ve only known him for a month and he’s making plans as far ahead as late september.

            Michigan in April
            San Francisco in June
            Burning man in August
            Alaska in September

            On. His. Dime.

            BOO YA.

          17. admin April 2, 2009 at 6:37 pm

            No no no, I totally get that. Why should you have to work hard to pay for him to have a grand old time and get ass? If he wants to go on dates, he can be a big boy and pay for them.

            Whatever happened w/McDreamy, btw?

            I will PM you the story, I don’t need to throw kerosene on that fire again by posting it publicly now.

          18. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 6:22 pm

            oooh!!

            but to be clear — I am not mad THAT he’s on a date. We’re separated. lord knows I have dates from time to time. I’m mad that I’m footing the bill.

        2. admin April 2, 2009 at 6:21 pm

          My LJ is a good place to let go of these sorts of things since we don’t have many (any?) mutual friends. Giiiirl, there has been some drama here in the past, I will have to show you the entries sometime.

      2. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 6:01 pm

        Same, but Taylor won’t divorce me on facebook (since it has to be mutual) and i’m friends with a lot of his friends and family and my employers and I’d prefer to keep this between us. And all your Livejournal friends… hahaha

    2. admin April 2, 2009 at 4:09 pm

      I’m way more of a facebook gal, but I will log in and add you soon, Fanny. <3

  10. leighhyphenanne April 2, 2009 at 5:39 am

    Ps – I’m back on myspace. /fannyfartle

Comments are closed.