Why is it that you need to give an apartment back cleaner than when you got it? In order to properly move out and not incur horrendous move-out charges, I had to paint my apartment back to icky tan from the happy saturated colors I’d painted it when I first moved in. I suspected that it might take more than one coat to cover up what I’d done, particularly in the rich purple bedroom, but I doggedly set myself on the task. After I’d finished one wall and moved on to the next, I had occasion to glance up at the first wall and found it completely patchy, dark in some spots and light in another. “Jesus fucking fuckballs,” I muttered, and went over the dark spots with more paint, evening everything out. Later, I looked up again, and there were yet MORE dark patches in areas that I’d SWORN I’d gone over earlier. “SON OF A FUCKING GOATCUNT” I stalked over and painted these spots AGAIN. Only after the first completely demoralizing day did I realize that the paint dries darker than the can shade and it wasn’t a spotty painting job on my part but the paint drying unevenly. WELL WHAT DO YOU KNOW.
I took out some rage on the walls, anyway.
I’m glad I was able to leave my mark lingering under coats of paint forever or at least until this apartment slips down the cliff and onto the highway below (they still have not fixed the landslide issue from earlier in the year).
Now with the paint and some help from an amazing carpet cleaner called “Folex” (seriously, if they do not have a slogan, I would like to suggest “This shit is magic”), it looks like I never lived there–and this is two years of living with a dog who actively works at defiling as much surface area as possible when he yaks. Once again, this shit is magic. Well, it mostly looks like I never lived there. I decided paying $5 each to replace two oven burners was worth saving the agony of trying to scrub them clean–but other than that, it’s like new!
If they withhold 1 cent of your damage deposit, I’m breaking necks!
I like your idea of painting bad words though. I usually paint penises!
Because I’m breaking the lease, I automatically forfeit the refundable portion of my deposit (only $100, so I’m not crying over it)–I’m trying to avoid getting some monster bill in the mail.
It’s super fun to paint things this large, I can’t believe it didn’t even cross my mind to paint a wang!
OIC, no worries. That was also good karma on your part too 🙂
I’m always thinking about the wang lolol
That explains your avatar and your current predicament. 😛
I lolled 🙂
That’s hilarious. You should just leave it. 🙂
kilz primer didn’t work?
I wasn’t about to spend a penny more than I had to fixing up the place. XD
hehehehe….reminded me of the paint commercials where the couple tries to paint over a red wall or stripes but it doesn’t work so they go to Lowes to get the best.paint.ever!
LOL too bad you couldn’t leave them that way.
I was going to say, use primer, but oh well XD
I never have the big brass ones to repaint my apartment upon move-in, because I hate “rental beige” and/or “rental off-white” but I never seem to be able to move in ways that allow the time and money to paint – and then unpaint it all on the way out.
Nonetheless, I like what you’ve done with the walls, and if only the landlord would be so forgiving to let you come back and fix it if you could only say “oh, I forgot a wall, did I? Was it the fuck or the shit wall?” so they could see it, but not penalize you.
When I was growing up in Shoreline, and my dad was getting ready to sell the family home and we had an 18 year old dog that tended to keep his insides on the outside, if you know what I mean, he was looking for carpet that wouldn’t be such a chore to clean or so visible when stained, and he had a poor carpet sales guy lose his composure and double up on the ground laughing – yes – totally lost his shit – when my dad said “do you have any carpet that might match the color of dog puke? I have samples…”
Best part when the guy recovered is, he found us a shade that mostly matched ‘dog puke’ by definition, and the house sold to some chumps who were none the wiser.
It was a lot of work and I wouldn’t necessarily paint quite so much of a place again, but I LOVED the colors the whole time I live there. It made the place cheery and mine in ways that you typically don’t feel from a rental.
I laughed at the pics 😀 And your icon XD