On our trip, we made certain to save some time for The Dinosaur Store & Museum in Cocoa Beach, as they reputedly have the most elaborate display of fossils for sale in the world. They don’t let you take pictures inside the store, so you’ll have to imagine precisely how elaborate that might be, but they did have some really awesome things. We ended up bringing home an ammonite from the Jurassic period, a piece of polished hematite that I thought looked cool (sort of like an insect’s eyeball), and an alligator foot cast that is perfect for giving high-fives.

We also went to Ron Jon’s surf shop as it was directly across the street. I needed a new pair of flip-flops as any semblance of padding there used to be on my old pair had long since been ground to dust under the repeated impact of my elephantine legs. I found a suitably comfortable replacement (like mini mattresses for my feet!), and while we waited in line to check out, a young girl ran up to her mother and insistently said, “Mom. MOM! I have to show you these or I might go crazy!” I was definitely intrigued and wanted to know what she was talking about. So now I have to show them to you, or I might go crazy.  

  You’re welcome.

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  One of the things we wanted to see outside of the immediate Orlando area was Dinosaur World, which is essentially Florida’s Jurassic Park, except a few expenses were spared and all of the dinosaurs were frozen in place. When we arrived, I realized my description required a correction: all of the dinosaurs were frozen in place with incredibly stupid expressions on their faces. Continue reading →

On our second day at Universal Studios, we visited the Islands of Adventure so we could check out the Harry Potter and Jurassic Park areas. Like another large theme park chain in the area, Universal is good about spreading out the things you want to see so that you have to pay for multiple visits, filling up the rest of their space with stinkers like Barney Town and Old Timey Comic Land From The Time When People Still Read Newspapers.  Joke’s on you, Universal, if we can have fun at a cranberry museum, we can have fun anywhere, and if you don’t have a ride, we’ll MAKE a ride.   Continue reading →