Yesterday, I skated into the office just before it closed, Indiana Jones style, laid down my bag of sand, picked up my idol, and prepared to deal with the wrath of the natives. “Well, hello there, Goddess of Packages. You’ve got something from a Purveyor of Fine Cheeses, though it seems awfully light for cheese.” “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer not to talk about the role cheese plays in my life. It’s a sensitive subject.”
All week long, bellachiara6 had been asking if I’d received her package yet, much in the same way excited children question their parents from the backseat of an automobile, “Has my package arrived yet? Has my package arrived yet? HAS MY PACKAGE ARRIVED YET?” and I would respond in much the same manner as I did when I was two and locked myself in the bathroom, and my mother repeatedly asked if I was done in there–“Noooooot yeeeeeeeeet.” You have no idea how much it killed me to have this package sitting in my room and not being able to open it because I needed to charge my camera battery. I would fail as a boy scout at always being prepared…but then again, I also fail at being a boy, and then there’s the whole not believing in god thing, and thinking that gay people are swell…the boy scouts can go fuck themselves. OH WAIT, THEIR TROOP LEADERS TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR THEM.
Hello, Nicki!
To repeat the text message I sent to Nicki, ‘That is the best fucking grocery bag I’ve ever seen. Ever.’ It’s so awesome, I want to keep it, and it’s a GODDAMNED GROCERY BAG. But what was inside the bag? She mailed me a CEPHALOPOD!
What’s more, she instructed me to…amuse myself with it. So my first act of amusement was to wear it as a hat. My second act of amusement was to have Napoleon wear it as a hat. My third act of amusement was to re-create my LJ icon in plush and paper.
My FOURTH act of amusement, as soon as I find a dark-haired Barbie-ish doll, will be decidedly more amusing. Stay tuned for that one!
If I have the chance this weekend, I’m going down to State Street to find something for you. 😀
You don’t have to spend money to entertain me–look at how much I love that silly grocery bag! 🙂
That is the cutest octopus I have EVER SEEN.
(And I’ve seen a few.)
Speaking of cute, how’s little Timmie #108?
my project for this project is now underway.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
That’s very much a mad scientist laugh, sir. Should I be concerned?
not really.
unless you PHEER GIFTZ.
Only evil or explody ones!
nothing evil or explody.
just awesome and cool.
Then rock on, my good man. Rock on.
i too have the gift sorted. it’s the second choice unfortunately because i couldn’t find a way to parcel up THE TERRIBLE SECRET OF SPACE
And I suppose THE TERRIBLE SECRET OF SPACE isn’t something you could tell to me here? I promise I won’t pass it on. Just whisper it in my ear.
how dare she question what the Purveyor sends?
I don’t even know why I wrote that to be honest.
I was hoping for some genuine Wisconsin chudge.
Chudge?
The very knowledge would DESTROY YOU. If you drive through Wisconsin via I-94, stop at Mars Cheese Castle–it is there you will learn the true nature of Chudge.
That site did not help me, but I desperately want to visit the Cheese Castle now.
It’s essentially cream cheese fudge.
The Castle is something to behold! And a short jaunt from the historical place at which I was once a purveyor of pornography!
If my need to visit Chicago at the end of the month had not fallen through, I would totally have made my way the extra hour north!
Also, you wrote it because everything that comes out of your mouth is SO CHEESY, Kraft is considering patenting you.
Ummm, what?
And yeah right, like I was going to send you cheese. Do you know what cheese would be like after a week in a box?
For a hint, I would suggest looking in your knickers.
OH NO YOU DIDN’T.
oh, I did.
I WILL NOT HESITATE TO BEAT YOUR ASS WITH YOUR OWN SHOE.
www.
I WILL NOT HESITATE TO BEAT YOUR ASS WITH YOUR OWN SHOE
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