Boehms Chocolates

boehms

Boehm’s has been making chocolate confections in Issaquah, Washington since 1956, when founder Julius Boehm moved his operation there from Seattle as the surrounding mountains reminded him of his homeland. The Boehm’s website indicates that they give tours at the factory and through the chalet from June-September, Monday through Friday, at 10:30am, 1pm, and 2pm by reservation.

I made a reservation on said website for a 1pm tour for two people on a Thursday in September, indicating in the reservation form that they should call me if there are any issues with the reservation so I could make other arrangements. Imagine my surprise when both my friend and I arrived promptly at 12:55 and were rudely informed that there was no tour that day, that they only give tours through September. Apparently, neither their calendars nor their telephones work. We were then told we could take the window tour, which makes one feel like a starving Dickensian waif looking upon the riches of the gentry. “Please sir, I want some more!”

Thus began the reading of scotch taped signs in windows, or how it shall henceforth be known: The Pissed-Off Lack of Information Can’t Believe I Drove 45 Minutes to Take This Window Tour. I could just say that the Boehm’s staff is rude and disorganized and leave it at that. But since I took The Pissed-Off Lack of Information Can’t Believe I Drove 45 Minutes to Take This Window Tour, I’d like to share it with you as well. I’ll share the information I was able to glean from the tour, but if there are any questions I have that could have been answered by a tour guide, I’m going to put a made-up answer in its place. And now, on to the tour! window tour

Julius Boehm learned to make candy and pastries from his grandfather in Switzerland. He was an Olympic athlete and avid outdoorsman, who used his mountaineering skills to escape from the Nazis. Why were the Nazis after him specifically? Let’s say it’s because he built a life-size chocolate Hitler and bit its head off. I also like to imagine that there was a tense mountain chase scene, with Boehm skiing furiously across the Alps with the Nazis hot on his heels, throwing cherry cordials at them to make them lose their footing. Boehm remained an athlete until the day he died, becoming the oldest man to summit Mount Rainier at 75, and breaking his own record at 80. After moving to the United States, he started a candy shop in Seattle, eventually moving to Issaquah and building his own chalet, the first building of its style in the area. After he died, his friend and head cook took over the company. copper kettle

A sign helpfully informed us that this is a copper kettle. You don’t say! They use it to mix and heat stuff, “the ingredients” as the sign said, so I don’t actually know what goes in here. Let’s say witches’ brew. Some candies are completed in this kitchen area and others continue into the rest of the factory. I don’t think anything chocolate-related is done in this room, but again, I couldn’t say for certain.

coating chocolate by hand

In this window, the sign pointed out that the employees were gloveless, but didn’t elaborate as to what is done to sanitize their hands. It also didn’t go into why they look so unhappy, but that may just be conjecture on my part. I can say that chocolate has never looked so unappetizing to me. The sign says that hand-dipping is a dying art (it takes a year of practice to master!), with fewer than 200 hand-dippers remaining in the United States today. Companies? Individuals? I’m going to go ahead and assume elves.

drizzling chocolate

Truffle and cream centers are rolled into long ropes, which are then pinched off, rolled, and then coated with chocolate. Once covered, the candy is placed on a tray to cool and a design is drawn on the top to identify its flavor. Is this the origin of the phrase “pinch a loaf”? I will venture to guess “yes”. old chocolate turkey

Here is a molded chocolate turkey that looks like it could be thirty years old. They have other molds, from little crosses to giant dolphins that weigh 37 pounds. Are people who are in the market for 37 pounds of chocolate all dolphin fanatics? How much does a 37 pound chocolate dolphin cost? How does one eat a 37 pound piece of chocolate? My guesses are “yes”, “$600” and “while snuggling it in a hot tub, letting it melt into your mouth and your various nooks and crannies at the same time”. Then came a sign telling me that if I wanted to learn more, I could make an appointment for a scheduled tour and my head exploded. bulging loincloth

What in the hell is going on here? Epic dongs. And that’s the tour, folks! I hope you learned something: namely, to take the Theo tour instead.  

Nom or Vom: An Eclair Covered with Chocolate So Dark, Light Cannot Escape Its Surface…And Also Stuffed With A Hot Dog

Chocolate Eclair Hot Dogvia Maple Lodge Farms

I know what you’re thinking: This is what’s wrong with America. But you’re wrong. This baby is Canada’s fault. Maybe they learned it from watching us, I don’t know. Either way, it’s a sliced chocolate eclair stuffed with a hot dog, covered in whipped cream and sprinkles. I don’t know if it also contains the standard eclair custard, and frankly, I’m not sure it matters.

Pros: You get your meal and your dessert at one low price, it certainly looks…festive, America finally not taking the blame for once

Cons: Might not have eclair custard, might have eclair custard, sweet cream and hot dog intermingling in your mouth

Would you eat a chocolate eclair hot dog?

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Chocolate the Exhibition at MOHAI

chocolate entryway

I’ve already talked about the general awesomeness of the Seattle Museum of History and Industry. They also offer the occasional amazing special exhibit. Chocolate: The Exhibition is a national tour, developed by the Field Museum of Chicago, and it’s actually been on the road since 2002; currently it is located at the Cincinnati Museum Center.

The scent of artificial chocolate is pumped through the vents as you enter Chocolate: The Exhibition, engaging the senses and preparing visitors for the smorgasbord of information to come. You’re started at a life size replica of a cacao tree, which not only shows how the pods grow (off of the trunk, not off of the branches like apples or peaches), but also talks about the ecosystem that the trees are part of and the life they help sustain, like the pink-legged graveteiro bird, which was first discovered in 1996 and primarily lives around cacao trees, or the endangered golden-headed lion tamarin, which makes its home in the canopy over cacao trees. It helps to show that our choices don’t exist in a vacuum: if there’s a high demand for cheap beef, more acres of rainforest are destroyed to make room for less-delicate, more profitable cattle. It’s why buying shade-grown cacao is important, as it helps keep the cacao part of the ecosystem instead of ripping down trees and growing it separately.

fake cacao podIt’s fake cacao pods, quick, someone call the Theo tour guide!

Cacao pods contain around 50 seeds, which is enough to make about 7 chocolate bars. But before it was ever made into bars (long before!) it was whipped into a frothy, spicy drink by the ancient Maya of Central America, a treat treasured by kings and priests, though the poor occasionally imbibed it as well. It was considered the food of the gods and was thus a treasured luxury item; as such, priests would present the seeds as offerings to the gods. The Maya also traded cacao to peoples who lived in cooler, drier areas who couldn’t grow the trees themselves–there’s evidence in a mural in central Mexico that the people there knew of the trees though their climate could not possibly support them. By the 1400s, cacao use had spread through Mesoamerica via the trade empire of the Aztecs, who would not only drink the cacao (or chocolatl), but also used it as a form of currency, with farmers paying their taxes in cacao seeds.

cacao bean trade chart

chocolate drinking vesselsDecorated vessels for drinking chocolate

In 1519, Hernan Cortes led Spanish soldiers to the Aztec capitol to divest them of their gold. Instead, they found cacao–lots of it. This opened the cacao market to Europeans, which is a polite way of saying that the Spaniards conquered the Aztecs through genocide, stole their cacao (and everything else), and sold it in Spain. Once it had been introduced to Europe, someone there added sugar to the beverage, and it quickly became renowned as a drink of the wealthy. However, it took nearly 100 years for knowledge of the drink to spread outside of Spain, for reasons that remain unknown. For some time, it was the beverage of choice, served only in private clubs to the rich, primarily to men. The first chocolate house opened in London in 1657, and within 50 years, there were more than 2,000 chocolate houses in London alone! When it was served in the home, it was in expensive, decorative cups and saucers, echoing the vessels of the Mayans and Aztecs. The cups themselves were symbols of wealth and status, and these wealthy people would often linger in bed over a cup of chocolate in the morning  instead of coffee, which was considered the bitter drink of the working class (and is now sold to them for $5 a pop by mega coffee chains, so it’s not like coffee has suffered by that comparison). aristocrat drinking chocolate

chocolate drinking china I appreciated that the exhibit didn’t gloss over the human toll of chocolate’s growing popularity, spread over almost the entirety of 300 years, both in Central America where the beans were grown via forced labor by the native peoples, and in North America, where slave labor was used to meet the increased demand for sugar, and later, to replace Native labor in southern Mexico and Central America when the population was drastically reduced by disease. In fact, sugar is directly responsible for the rapid growth of the slave trade in the Americas. The exhibit noted that at the beginning of the 19th century, the price of one teaspoon of sugar was approximately equal to the monetary value of one day in a slave’s life, and it’s deeply disturbing to consider that human life was valued so poorly compared to an amount of product that is now given away for free in packets in diners. It wasn’t until the industrial revolution that things began to change, though even now, farmers work very hard growing cacao to sell to the world and many are so poor that they have never even tried chocolate in its finished form. Disgustingly, child labor and trafficking still flourishes in the cocoa trade, which, again, is why your purchase decisions matter, and why I’m glad that the museum didn’t skip over some of the less palatable aspects of the chocolate trade. chocolate factory workers

chocolate molds

During the industrial revolution, mass production made chocolate more widely available and affordable to those other than the wealthy. In 1847, after patenting a method of grinding cocoa beans with a steam engine, Joseph Storrs Fry sold the first chocolate bar in England. Soon after, nearly every candy shop began to sell chocolates that had been molded in decorative molds. By the 20th century, mass-produced chocolates took over, and the world hasn’t looked back. In 1875, Daniel Peter and Henri Nestle claimed they invented milk chocolate by adding condensed milk to their recipe; however, it must be noted that a company in Germany had already invented milk chocolate in 1839. Not only does this make the bars smoother and creamier, but it also made it possible to reduce the amount of cacao per bar, which made it overall cheaper to produce. In fact, today, the United States only requires a bar to contain a minimum of 10% of chocolate liquor to be considered milk chocolate; the standards in the EU are minimum 25% cocoa solids. In 2007, the chocolate manufacturer’s association (which includes Nestle, Hershey’s, and Archer Daniels Midland) began lobbying the FDA to change the legal definition of chocolate to allow the substitution of “safe and suitable vegetable fats and oils” including partially hydrogenated vegetable oils for cocoa butter in addition to using “any sweetening agent” (including artificial sweeteners) and milk substitutes. Currently, the FDA does not allow any product to be called “chocolate” if the product contains any of these ingredients. When you see something called “chocolate-y” or “made with chocolate”, that’s a product that contains one of the aforementioned ingredients…but I’m getting ahead of myself.

cocoaBe…sure…to…drink…your…Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!

In the early 1800s, powdered drinking chocolate also began to be sold to the masses as cocoa: the cocoa butter had been extracted, and the chocolate had been treated with alkaline salts to help it mix with water. Cocoa had an overall milder taste than the drinking chocolate sold in chocolate houses, and it was easier to dissolve in liquid, which made it ideal for the home consumer. chocolate in wartime

After World War I, the popularity of candy bars skyrocketed. During both world wars, chocolate became scarce and was rationed to soldiers. During World War II, almost all of the chocolate produced in the United States was earmarked for the military, as well as a good portion of the cranberries. It wasn’t until chocolate became much cheaper to make and buy that advertisers began to market to children. It’s taken off so well that recently Congress has tried to regulate how these foods are advertised to children in the hopes of combating childhood obesity.

passion for chocolate“You smell good enough to grind up into a paste, add chiles, and whip into a frothy beverage. Mmmm. Shall we go into the other room?”

The exhibit also discussed the myths about chocolate’s amorous effects. Although chocolate does contain phenylethylamine (the same substance created by the brain when a person experiences love), there’s no evidence that chocolate stimulates the libido. But chocolate has been entwined with romance since at least the 16th century, with Mesoamericans exchanging chocolate drinks at their wedding, and it’s a known fact that the lack of chocolate on Valentine’s Day has an anti-libidinous effect. chocolate harvest

box of chocolates wall Today, chocolate is a global industry centered around a narrow belt of areas within ten degrees (north and south) of the equator: primarily the Ivory Coast, Indonesia, Ghana, Nigeria, Brazil, Cameroon, Ecuador, Dominican Republic, Papua New Guinea, Malaysia, Columbia, and Mexico. Cacao is hard work. Pods must be harvested by hand, trees take 3-5 years to begin to produce pods, and mold can wipe out entire crops. It is a guarantee that any piece of chocolate you have ever eaten contained cocoa that was hand-picked by a farmer in one of the above countries. Like other agricultural products, cacao experiences highs and lows in the world market. A rise in demand or a decrease in production drives prices up. But when cacao prices fall, it can devastate entire countries.

What you buy and where it comes from makes a difference: no one wants to think that a human rights violation was involved in creating the delicious snack they’re enjoying. You can help by buying chocolate that’s certified fair trade and shade-grown–not only do these niche manufacturers generally pay a higher price for their beans to ensure higher quality which means a higher standard of life for the people growing it and the animals living nearby, but you’ll also be eating better chocolate made by people who don’t want to stuff it full of palm oils and other cheap additives. It’s win-win! Chocolate: The Exhibition opened my eyes to the wider world of chocolate, and it’s a great reminder to savor it rather than take it for granted.