I wasn’t able to leave work yesterday to visit a close friend who had been hospitalized for meningitis; immediately after I told The Troll I wanted to leave early, she got a phone call and rushed out for a ‘family emergency’, effectively trapping me at work since at least once of us has to be here.
The woman has more family emergencies than anyone I’ve ever met–but with a mother who could take a lead role in a remake of ‘what’s eating gilbert grape’*, three obnoxious high-school-dropout kids, and scads of close relatives with major drug problems**, one would expect that she’d have a higher-than-average number.
What was the emergency this time? Her 17 year old daughter is pregnant. Not like she wouldn’t still be pregnant if Mom rushed home, but whatever.
The part that made me crack my spleen attempting to stifle my laughter is when she told someone in the office, and his reaction was “No way! How did it happen?”
…I’m pretty sure it was sometime around when a penis came in contact with a vagina.
*That emergency involved mom putting a leg through the stairs. **One of these emergencies involved her sister having some sort of gengrenous vaginal emergency after shooting heroin up in her hoo-hah.
…I’m pretty sure it was sometime around when a penis came in contact with a vagina.
I think we can make a safe assumption that it was actually sometime after insertion, not before, as you imply.
I don’t know, the daughter still claims to be a virgin. Jesus II is coming! Look busy!
She probably thinks that because they did it standing up it didn’t count or something. I knew this girl once who was like, “There was no foreplay so it wasn’t sex and I can’t get pregnant,” and I was like, “Oh honey no, that just means it was really BAD sex.”
I didn’t orgasm so it doesn’t count! Don’t you know anything about anatomy? The orgasm is what makes the ovaries work.
I know these things. I’m a scientist-type-person.
Maybe time is of the essence and she is coming with RU-486
Not at 4 weeks, she isn’t.
…I’m pretty sure it was sometime around when a penis came in contact with a vagina.
You win the Internets. 🙂
cheers,
Phil
YES. I don’t know how I’ll fit a giant series of tubes in my room, though. Although I suppose THAT would be easier than a truck. 😀
Not like she wouldn’t still be pregnant if Mom rushed home, but whatever.
Unless she was going home to kick her daughter down the stairs.
FTW!