October 8th Ju-On Color, 2000 Not as grisly as I had heard/anticipated, but genuinely creepy, and I’m glad I didn’t watch it just before bed.

October 9th Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust Color, 2001. Mmmmmm, Vampire Hunter D.

October 10th Eegah! Color, 1962. Arch Hall Jr’s performance in this film made me sad to be alive. “Wow-zee-wow-wow Roxy!” And then he starts SINGING and it somehow gets EVEN WORSE. Also, watch out for snakes.

October 11th Elvira’s Haunted Hills Color, 2002. I first saw this at a pre-screening at comic-con with the lady herself, and yet somehow I managed to avoid telling her that once upon a time, I dressed up as the nerdiest, fattest version of her, EVER in the hopes of getting a boy to like me. Now I sort of wish I had, if only because watching people contort their faces to try and remain polite is secretly hilarious to me.

October 12th Cat’s Eye Color, 1985. This was intended as a vehicle for young Drew Barrymore, at some point in her career after ET, but before rehab. In this movie, she plays so many people’s daughter that you either come to the conclusion that (a)all little girls look alike or (b)that girl’s parents must be REALLY awful for her to be shuffled around like that. Two of the three segments are really successful, but the last one sucks pretty hard. Best to shut the movie off 2/3rds of the way through. You won’t have missed anything, promise.

October 13th The Wild Wild World of Batwoman B/W, 1966. This movie was so bad, it hurt me physically. So…a bunch of girls pledge themselves to Batwoman. The pledge involves drinking blood, or rather, strawberry yoghurt, and then giggling about being vampires. And then dancing. A lot of dancing. Something happened after this point, but I’m not certain exactly what, as my brain tried to escape.

October 14th Army of Darkness Color, 1992. Not only do REAL MEN love this movie, so do I. “Ok, you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This…is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?”

October 15th Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter Color, 1966. Based on the title alone, I figured this movie would have to be awesome. Never judge a movie by its title. I’m a little surprised that Mystery Science Theater 3000 has never done this one–then again, it would just be too easy.

Up tonight: I haven’t decided yet–a trip to the video store is in order. I’m hoping they have Piranha Part II: The Spawning; I hear that these fish defy the laws of nature and FLY.