While Jason and I were at Costco last night, we peeped into the jewelry case (as one does, because it’s part of the browsing experience, not because one is specifically in the market), and I noticed this sign and brought it to his attention. “Oh gee, honey, only four hundred fifty nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine dollars and ninety nine cents–it’s a steal! And free shipping!” A couple browsing nearby burst out laughing. What? I think that sounds better than saying “Oh honey, it’s only half a million dollars!” or “Oh honey, it costs slightly less than a house!” or “Oh honey! You could get this for me instead of that horse I wanted and with this gift you’ll never have to shovel horse puckey off your shoes!”

But really, if someone was going to drop half a mil on a ring, don’t you think they might like to see it in person first? Is Costco really going to be the first place you look when you’re planning on dropping that kind of cash? Isn’t that like going to Wal Mart to see if they have any discount Rolls Royces? And if you’re going to spend that much, is ten bucks worth of shipping charges going to sway you that much one way or another? Really? You see the free shipping and think “SOLD!”? Maybe if they threw in the loaded Lexus’ worth of Washington State sales tax, that would make a difference. Maybe.

Apropos of nothing since this won’t be in my Christmas stocking: Sure, the diamond is the size of a boulder but the only thing I can see is how tacky the setting looks.