IMPORTANT POLL

10 Comments read Everything is Terrible
IMPORTANT POLL

I would not typically poll two entries in a row, but since mschilepepper revealed that she was drive-by masturbated at, I am absolutely dying to know how many people I know who have had this happen to them. Yeeeears ago, I remember that spanishbombs joined an email list for truckers who liked to masturbate while driving and posted some of their hilarious messages, so maybe this is not as uncommon as I would like to believe!

Poll #1342956 Heeeeeere chickchickchickchick Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 28

Have you ever been drive-by masturbated to/at?

View Answers Yes 5 (18.5%)No 22 (81.5%)

If so, please tell the story.

If not, would you like to have this happen?

View Answers Yes 1 (3.7%)Hell no! 7 (25.9%)

It depends…is the masturbator hot? 11 (40.7%)

Please do not take this as a cue to masturbate at me, Mellzah. 8 (29.6%)

Have you ever been an unwitting participant in anyone’s sexual activity? (Flashing, foot-stomping, etc. Let us keep it freaky and light, please. I am not trying to dredge up traumatic experiences.)

View Answers Yes 14 (53.8%)No 12 (46.2%)

Please share with the class.

zophos — Foot-stomping is a sexual activity now? One time I walked in on some lesbians having sex in what had to have been the nastiest public restroom ever. This was after a random guy put his tongue in my ear with no introduction.
ryanlion — In college the roommate of a guy I was seeing would have beyond normal loud sex with his GF, it didn’t help that the walls were paper thin. We’d make fun of them, to their face, they’d laugh with us, and be just as noisy the next time.
dslartoo — Have heard a neighbor having sex before. Talked to her the next morning, made an off-color remark about it and she went BRIGHT red. Never heard her after that, which was a shame.
maps_or_guitars — Although I might have been. I mean, the whole thing about being an unwitting participant is that you don’t know you’re participating.
piemancer — O, just folks on the bus. Not even exciting folks. Just folks who think proximity means arousal.
watchout5 — She wanted goat noises…
crazyfaeriegirl — Flashing and naked-girl-parties. I was actually the only dressed female at the naked girl party and got harassed for it. It kinda sucked.
penguinet — See above and a friend emailed me today to see if I had any new pictures. Apparently he caught his friend masturbating at his computer to my picture. I was like, uhm…
autonomic_pilot — I was at the SPCC and they were… looking… at me. It helped that they were both chicks and pretty easy on the eys.
mschilepepper — I dated a guy who I later learned has a sneezing fetish. I have allergies. ‘Nuff said.
darkkatpouncing — Driving down the road my friend John driving and we look to the left and he says “IS THAT ASS?” and indeed there was a big round ass pushed up against the window of a van…hells NO LOL.
spinningfire — Well, I do run a masturbation party………….
lady_sotha — I walked in on the beginnings of an orgy at some Halloween party years ago. Definitely weird.

If you had a choice, who would you prefer to be targeted by?

View Answers Drive-by masturbators 5 (18.5%)Flashers 11 (40.7%)

Bus-fondlers 1 (3.7%)

Neighbors who fuck so hard they knock down things in your home 7 (25.9%)

Dressing room sales clerks who make you feel so, so dirty 6 (22.2%)

The foot-fetishist shoe salesperson who maybe holds onto your feet well past your comfort zone. 2 (7.4%)

Shoe-mirror guys 0 (0.0%)

Someone who pokes a package of ground meat while staring at you intently 6 (22.2%)

Mellzah 17 (63.0%)

 

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10 Comments IMPORTANT POLL

  1. jumpinjessflash February 3, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    Should I repost my bus story here for shits and giggles posterity?

    1. admin February 3, 2009 at 7:47 pm

      YES.

      1. jumpinjessflash February 4, 2009 at 5:11 pm

        Comment deleted due to paranoia about giving out too much info on where I live on a non-friends-locked post.

        1. admin February 4, 2009 at 5:30 pm

          You gotta do what you gotta do. 🙂

  2. katura February 4, 2009 at 7:56 am

    I have this fantasy of being flashed and just pointing and laughing as loud as I possibly can. Probably yelling something, too, but I haven’t decided exactly what yet.

    1. admin February 4, 2009 at 5:31 pm

      You, madam, are the wind beneath my wings. 😀

  3. smacksaw February 4, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    A truck driver was doing his route late at night. He was a bit pent up and horny from being on the road, so he decided to pull his cock out and play with it. As he got further into the throes of ecstasy, he failed to notice a turn in the road and ran into a ditch and crashed, dying instantly.

    Soon, an ambulance shows up. They try to resuscitate him at the scene to no avail. The ER calls for him to be brought in as the hospital is close, and perhaps they can try something. When he arrives, however, he is pronounced dead…still sporting the erection he was fondling in his truck!

    A nurse notices this and pulls him into an empty room. Peeling back the covers, she is surprised to discover the largest, longest, thickest cock she has ever seen in her life! He’s still warm and not long from being pronounced, so she says “fuck it” and pulls her panties to the side and rides him right there on the gurney. Quickly, she has the most earth-shattering orgasm of her entire life.

    Another nurse, hearing the commotion pops in the room and witnesses the end of the act. She exclaims to the first nurse “What are you doing?” to which the first nurse replies “I’m sorry, I could not help myself. He died hard, maybe it’s rigor, but it’s the biggest, sturdiest, most magnificent erection I’ve ever seen in my life. You have to try it. I can’t go again. I don’t even know if I can stand!”

    The second nurse pauses and says “well…I don’t know…” and the first responds “don’t worry, I’ll watch the door. You’ll be safe.”

    “No, that’s not it” she demurs…”I’m on my period.”

    “Who fucking cares?”, the first nurse exclaims! “He’s dead! He’s not going to complain. He’s covered in blood as it is! No one will know it’s yours!”

    Admiring the cock, the second nurse decides to take her shot. She pulls down her pants, takes out her tampon and climbs on the cock with reckless abandon. As she rides him furiously, she suddenly shrieks – the guy’s eyes flutter and open.

    “I thought you were dead!” the nurse exclaims!

    “I thought I was too” he replies, “but that blood transfusion you gave me saved my life.”

    Thank you, thank you…

    1. admin February 4, 2009 at 5:34 pm

      At first, I thought you were telling me a true story about how you witnessed someone masturbating himself to death, and then I was so, so bitterly disappointed.

      1. smacksaw February 4, 2009 at 8:57 pm

        I’ll make it up to you in person. Get lots of tubes of apricot exfoliating scrub for me.

        1. admin February 4, 2009 at 9:48 pm

          …Are those two sentences related?

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