Happy-time Hair

On Sunday I met up with the lovely mschilepepper and we had coffee, wandered around downtown Kent (no wonder they’re having trouble revitalizing the area–everything is closed!), and relieved ourselves of some dollars burning holes in our pockets at Daiso. I got some flowerpots that I really like for my windowsill garden for a dollah fiddy each which is a smoking deal compared to the nearly ten bucks each they are elsewhere–garden stuff is a racket, I tell you!

While at Daiso, I saw some stick-on muttonchops, and happened upon the greatest idea I’ve ever had. Ever.

Unless you live under a rock, by now you should be aware of the phenomenon of women waxing or shaving designs onto their hoohah–hearts and arrows and lightning bolts and ‘martini glasses’ and crap like that. That’s all well and good, but it’s not nearly as awesome as my idea: hoohah mutton chops. They’d frame the action really well, and I’m pretty sure your hips would automatically add an Elvis-like swagger to your walk. Not to mention that you’d be able to then and forever refer to it as your ‘mutton chop area’ in public, and no one would know that you’re talking about something scintillating. Mutton chops–good idea? Or the best idea?

30 Comments Happy-time Hair

  1. leighhyphenanne May 6, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    Only if you call them “Muffin chops”

    GET IT?!?!

    HAHAHHAHA!!!

    yesssss

    1. admin May 6, 2008 at 6:00 pm

      I love it and I hate it. Muffin chops is a little too close for my taste to muffin tops, which is a pretty negative term. :\

      1. leighhyphenanne May 6, 2008 at 6:02 pm

        This is true… I have been suffering the dread muffin top as of late. Fuck. Maybe I should…you know…start doin’ stuff?

        1. admin May 6, 2008 at 6:21 pm

          Or wear higher-waisted pants. MOM JEANS. 😉

          1. leighhyphenanne May 6, 2008 at 6:22 pm

            I had some, but I tore the button out… oh feck.

          2. admin May 6, 2008 at 6:57 pm

            Clearly we need to go shopping and get you some pants.

          3. leighhyphenanne May 6, 2008 at 7:00 pm

            Amen to that, sister. I bought some spandex leggins yesterday… Is that sad? I mean.. they’re stylish and all, but I definitely could use some REAL pants.

          4. admin May 6, 2008 at 7:03 pm

            Something deep inside me will not allow me to wear spandex leggings. My mom forced ‘stirrup pants’ and all sorts of leggings on me when I was a kid, and I can’t help but associate any leggings now with the awkwardness of those formative years.

          5. leighhyphenanne May 6, 2008 at 7:06 pm

            Oh, I wore stirrup pants like they were goin’ out of style… oh… wait….

            but you know the look… capri leggings and a long shirt or hoodie. To me this equals no love handle.

          6. admin May 6, 2008 at 7:13 pm

            Oh I totally get how it’s slimming! I’m short enough that if I try to rock that, it looks like I’m wearing my big sister’s clothes. Add one of those big popular ‘hobo’ style bags and it looks like I’m running away from home.

          7. leighhyphenanne May 6, 2008 at 7:15 pm

            hahahahahahahahaha….

            I got lucky, I’m almost as tall as my dad, and about six inches taller than my mother, so I can get away with slouchy clothes. I would like to wear fitted clothes so I could get out of this damn domestic employee lifestyle. I know I don’t have to dress up for work, but I feel like If I never wear clothes without elastic waistbands, I’ll only expand. AND THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!

  2. variax May 6, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    “Mutton chops–good idea? Or the best idea?”
    Certainly better than going for a soul patch.

    1. admin May 6, 2008 at 6:56 pm

      Or a neckbeard.

      1. cordelia_rose May 7, 2008 at 5:26 pm

        If my vagina in any way resembled Terry Goodkind I would end up stabbing myself to death…. in the vagina

        1. admin May 8, 2008 at 4:55 pm

          I figured Robert Jordan was a scarier vaginal resemblance–then again, Goodkind seems to always be giving people the crazy eye, and I’d prefer to not have my vagina give a crazy eye at anyone.

  3. scearley May 6, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    wait, that’s still around? I thought that style of shaving left in the early 90s.

    Plus – I had to read this a few times before I got it in my head that what you wrote was hoohah, not hookah, and I couldn’t figure out how to shave one of those, nor figure out how it got hairy in the first place.

    1. admin May 6, 2008 at 8:17 pm

      I wasn’t exactly cognizant of shaving/waxing styles in the early 90’s.

  4. dslartoo May 6, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    I must be living under a rock. Since when have women started shaving DESIGNS into their pubic hair? I thought the debate was “bare vs. furry vs. landing strip”.

    cheers,
    Phil

    1. admin May 6, 2008 at 9:52 pm

      Well, it’s not all women or even a majority of women, but among those who have a professional take care of their mutton chop area, it’s more common. If I had to guess, awareness of designs reached maximum (ahem) penetration when it was mentioned on Sex and the City.

  5. Anonymous May 6, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    I vote for best idea, unless you mention the idea of a mustache, which you can refer to as a muffstache.

    you could do a 30’s style greased up muffstache like a silent-movie villain with a vagina for a mouth.

    1. admin May 6, 2008 at 9:52 pm

      Hilarious, but who wants greased-up hair in their expensive panties?

      1. shadowstitch May 7, 2008 at 12:27 am

        …I could say so many terrible things in response to that rhetorical nightmare, but I shan’t. Instead, I shall sit here and look pensive.

        1. admin May 7, 2008 at 1:18 am

          My answer was going to be John Travolta.

  6. mschilepepper May 6, 2008 at 11:18 pm

    I’m claiming half-credit for this idea, dude.

    1. admin May 6, 2008 at 11:24 pm

      Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

  7. suspiciouskay May 6, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    I approve.

    1. admin May 6, 2008 at 6:58 pm

      Is this something you’d try yourself or reccommend to others?

      1. suspiciouskay May 6, 2008 at 7:58 pm

        Why not both?

        1. admin May 6, 2008 at 8:05 pm

          EVEN BETTER.

Comments are closed.