I went into the apartment manager’s office yesterday to pick up a package, and she looked up and loudly announced to everyone inside that “this girl is the goddess of packages, she’s in here all the time.”
Yeah.
So one: Bullshit. I’ve gotten TWO packages since she started managing the place 3 months ago–I’m hardly running a Fed Ex portal through my apartment.
Two: It’s none of her goddamn business how many packages I get in the mail, whether it’s one or 1,000. If I wanted to have everything delivered to my doorstep instead of dealing with people, that would be my choice. If she thinks it’s excessive, there’s no need to make remarks about it to me or anyone else, because to me, her sole function consists of cashing my check every month. Frankly, I don’t really want to interact with her even on a package pickup basis–I wish that FedEx, UPS, and the post office would just leave them by my door. No one is going to mess with the crazy lady’s packages.
I’m seriously considering posting my address here and asking everyone to take the time to send me a shoebox with whatever inside so long as it’s not (a)illegal or (b)gross and THEN she’ll see who the goddamn goddess of packages is. I’d like to fill that office and make her sign for packages until she gets carpal tunnel syndrome.
Nosy witch.
Yes, PLEASE start running a FedEx portal through your apartment.
I know that there *is* a way to set yourself to “Feel free to leave my packages without a signature” status, because I had to do it in order to get my corporate discount. Can’t find it on fedex.com at the moment, though.
Actually… I thought they’d set residential deliveries to “no signature required” by default, sometime last year. Maybe apartment complexes don’t count as residential for those purposes?
Everyone is seemingly concerned about liability were they to leave packages on apartment doorsteps; I suppose it’s considered too much walk-by traffic. However, I’d feel fine about it–my apartment is high enough that you can’t see anything left there from ground level, it’s set back so even if someone lived in the apartment next door, it’s unlikely they’d see anything, and no one has actually lived next door for months.
When Amy worked grave shift, it was theoretically perfect as she was home when the fedex/ups guy would come a’knockin’. However, that girl could sleep through the apocalypse…
go on! e-bay taxidermy section has a whole load of stuff that you could have delivered direct.
Snarling coyote, pls.
erm… not quite. i’m sure you’ll love it though.
Taxidermy–the fine art that enriches all of our lives.
“Goddess of Packages” sounds like someone who is just WAITING to have David Bowie as her avatar.
Fear me. Love me. Do as I say, and I will be your SLAVE.
Oh, Bowie. Your package is magical.
I’m seriously considering posting my address here and asking everyone to take the time to send me a shoebox with whatever inside….
i’m WAY ahead of you on this. 😀
i shall need some collection time and our current postal strikes to end, but thereafter shall endeavour to send all manner of crap your way as regularly as possible.
I’m glad that your Halloween card made it through the postal strike–how can they do that, just up and strike? Isn’t what they’re doing considered seizure of mail? In the states, that’s a federal offense.
long story short, if the union ballots its members, and they vote on strike action, the legal status of the strike is held valid, therefore they are committing no offence.
you should have seen the shitstorm when the fucking firefighters were on strike. that happens fairly regularly, and the military take over their duties because they have (albeit very old and outdated) firefighting equipment.
i love the uk.
That’s awful! What about the stuff you have that you rely on the mail for, like bills and whatnot?
well, they just don’t turn up. though in fairness we pay all our bills by direct debit, so it’s not a problem with that.
the postal service here is under a lot of scrutiny at present anyway. it has a monopoly on delivery of regular post to residential doors (third party couriers excepted for packages) but there are a few companies now who can pick up post. basically, it’s like the last of the nationalised dinosaurs. i’d love to think that privatisation of the system would benefit the country, but having seen what’s happened to the rest of the infrastructure the government has sold off over the years…….
The States also give the postal service a monopoly on regular post (and not just residential, here), but I don’t think we have a lower limit on package size so long as the package service charges at least X times the regular postal rate.
Strangely, the US postal service is usually the first example of a nationalized system that works. I’m professionally barred from having an unbiased opinion on whether they’re right about that.
Privatization works…sometimes. For example, in the state of California, all automobile related things (licensing, registration, plates, stickers, etc) are issued by government run offices. The wait was always miserable regardless of what you needed to do–you could plan on killing a few hours just waiting inside.
In Washington, it’s all privatized; since they have an incentive to help people faster, I’m in and out. I can even pay online and have stickers and license renewals mailed to me so I very rarely even have to deal with anyone in person. Which is AWESOME.
Privatization of mail is something I think I could be behind, but given the Brit customer service standards, you’d probably be in for a screwing.
I would TOTALLY SEND YOU A PACKAGE.
Address posted in a friends-only update, for fear of int0rwebnet stalkers. 😀
You seem to have completely misidentified your stalker demographic, if you think friends-only is going to keep
usthem away.Anyone on my F-list showing up at my doorstep is something I could deal with…welcome, even. More of an ‘I’d like to keep my insane ex who has made threats on my life and still reads this journal’ off of my doorstep sort of measure. 🙂 Even though I’ve totally trained my dog to shoot bees out of his mouth, that’s a situation best avoided.
i have something that suits you. it’s not piratey though.
m at darke rby far dot fucking com if you want to hand on your address.
My address has been posted in a friends-only update. 😀 Non-piratey is fine!
Have you considered alluding to the fact that all of your packages are in fact sex toys and drug paraphernalia?
That is a most excellent idea! Perhaps not the drugs as it’s technically a violation of my lease, but shaking a package and squealing ‘oh god YES it must be the anal invader super dong!’ is not beyond my capabilities.
You KNOW I am all over this. Just wait until you find what kind of crap I can come up with. A ha!
You say this as if I don’t vividly remember the page of barbie coloring book (Barbie USA!) you mailed me. 🙂
Holy crap, I forgot about that.
What kind of weird ass friendship do we have, anyways?
Also, WHERE IS MY HALLOWEEN CARD?!
The sort of weird-ass friendship that other people are jealous of, basically.
Your card is going in the mail today, baby! It would’ve gone out yesterday, but I got trapped in one of those horrifying all-day-long meetings.
THE INTERNET CAN MAKE YOU. So there!