On Friday, Justin and J had a party for a few purposes:
1. It was Devil’s Night and thus basically a pre-funk Halloween 2. They wanted to keep their house from being arsoned 3. They wanted to get their rat bastard arsonist friends off the street 4. Oh yeah, and Justin was turning 30 or something
Since it was a Devil’s Night party, it was requested that we dress up as the devil or one of his minions; my Halloween costume not yet complete, I didn’t have time to put together anything else, so I slapped on some clay horns, red eyeshadow, and the reddest, glitteriest lips EVER and called it a costume. The glitterlips were a mistake; no matter how cool I thought it looked at home, I was nervous all night about it getting onto my teeth as I talked and drank so I spent about a third of the night obsessively licking my teeth which I’m sure looks about as attractive as it sounds. I was apparently not so concerned about the look AFTERWARD as when I got home, I passed out on the couch within ten minutes of my arrival in full makeup and woke up with so much glitter in my mouth that it appeared overnight I had changed into a hobo costume with a bad case of red glitter gingivitis. When it comes to glitter, I’m bad at learning my lesson.
Justin had dressed up as the Morning Star; we contemplated adding a flaming sword of vengeance to his costume but figured that since part of the point of the party was NOT to burn down the house, playing with fire and booze would probably not be one of the wiser courses of action.
Speaking of wiser courses of action and booze, one of the party guests had pretty well overimbibed by the time I arrived and kept drinking; I was chatting with someone else and we both looked up right at the precise moment that it was deemed prudent that we drag Drunky McDrunkerson outside IMMEDIATELY, who rewarded us by hurling in the bushes bare seconds after we got him on the porch. This guy was in a whole new league of drunk–he sat outside on the porch for nearly the rest of the evening, alternating drinking water and vomiting. At one point, we called a cab for him and the cab driver refused to take him since he couldn’t walk unassisted. At some other point, he crapped his pants but was still too drunk to notice.
…I think I’m getting too old for this sort of party.
J had some super-awesome horns and wore furry pants which gave her the illusion of goat legs, and Deq turned her star tattoos into pentagrams and the whole thing was quite impressive and made me feel a bit ashamed of my hobomouth and horns combo.
All in all, it was a good time hanging with some folks I hadn’t seen in a while, Justin successfully turned 30 AND managed to avoid burning down the house, so it was a win on all counts.
Particularly since I didn’t have to be involved in the clean-up process, which I hear involved rubber gloves.
In my world, any party in which an attendee drunkenly soils themself is going to be cleaned up with the judicious application of fire and a hastily-assembled alibi.
But in a party environment there are SO MANY witnesses to contend with!
But in a party environment there are SO MANY witnesses to contend with!
In my world, any party in which an attendee drunkenly soils themself is going to be cleaned up with the judicious application of fire and a hastily-assembled alibi.
Dude, that is an AWESOME Morningstar costume.
…Now I am much more indecisive about next year’s choice.
I think the blonde wig made it. 🙂
Indeed!
(If I do it, I won’t even need the wig. HMMMMMMM.)
Indeed!
(If I do it, I won’t even need the wig. HMMMMMMM.)
I think the blonde wig made it. 🙂
Dude, that is an AWESOME Morningstar costume.
…Now I am much more indecisive about next year’s choice.
Glitter is the devil – that shit NEVER goes away.
I hear tell it’s the herpes of craft supplies.
hahahahah – awesome.
Seriously: I keep finding flecks in my bed from TWO YEARS ago. And unlike most guys, I actually wash my sheets on a fairly regular basis.
Evil stuff.
I don’t mind things getting a little sparkly so long as it’s not between my damn teeth and lining my throat three days later.
that’s what she said.
😛
This is true.
I hear tell it’s the herpes of craft supplies.
Glitter is the devil – that shit NEVER goes away.
I endorse the concept of tattoos as a coloring book medium.
The idea just begs for clever black outlines and judicious application of sharpie marker.
:-D!!
this is actually the first time i’ve seen how awesome my back turned out! thanks for posting it 🙂
i think i’m also a bit too old for parties like this… but luckily nobody else got quite as bad as that one guy. next up: thanksgiving, which will be a smaller, better affair.
Yeah, your back turned out fantastic! 🙂