Yesterday, I was in no shape to go anywhere or do anything due to my ovaries punching me from the inside out, and decided what I needed was some chinese delivery. 45 minutes later, there was a knock on my door and a man who either spoke very little English or was Ashton Kutcher in disguise, punking me, was shouting at me “SOOOOO BEAUTIFUL! VERY BEAUTIFUL! VERY SO BEAUTIFUL!”
Thank you, crazy man. I have been flatter-terrified into never ordering from that restaurant again.
Wow, you don’t even have to leave your place. They come and FIND you!
I KNOW RIGHT?
I’m thinking about becoming a shut-in and only eating whatever can be stuffed under the crack of the door. Froot roll-ups and the like.
I think what you need is an exorcism. Clearly some angry spirit is creating a gaping vortex of nutjobs within 100 feet of WHEREVER YOU GO. Christ on a cracker, what the hell did you DO in your past life to deserve this? D=
Part of me thinks I would do well to have that exorcism and part of me thinks that my life/blog would be vastly less interesting if I did so.
What with all the freaky demon boners that seem to be tracking you down, you might be better off with an erexorcism.
That might take me into even freakier territory.
How?
How do all these terrifying and fascinating things happen to you? This entry made me laugh HARD!
I honestly have no idea how this sort of person consistently finds me. Except for this exact one, whom I had given my address. 😐
YIKES! Who knew your lo mein came with a free side of creeeeepy?
What did your fortune cookie say???
It said I would be appreciated for my inner beauty. 😐